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The Cardinal Condition by .ray

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From: Samy

Date: 2016-07-17

Chapter: 2

I can't believe you're still on here after so long though!!

From: Samy

Date: 2016-07-17

Chapter: 2

Holy crap I havent been on this site for a while but I came on here now and damn i can't believe you posted, Im totally going to read this, you'll have another pending review! And from what I'm reading below this seems like my kind of story!! :)))

From: Kasai

Date: 2016-07-11

Chapter: 2

I feel giddy! Just like the old days when I would log on and see my favorite story updated! This was the BEST way the start my Monday... of course, then I did nothing after reading this chapter because I needed time to sit and process everything! (Um.. I went home sick.. um.. I most likely am NOT sick.. :) ) But, on to this amazingness!


So - I really don't know where to start, so, I'll start at the end because my mind is just blown. The entire imagery - I reread that those last few sentences at least 4 times. I needed the image to keep replaying in my head for some reason. It was all of the urgency in the chapter, built up to that one final moment. And it all playing out in slow motion... even if it wasn't written that way, there would have been no other way for me to imagine it. Of course, that leaves me on the edge of my seat for me and I beg, even if I'm the only one who ever leaves a review, I would be eternally happy if you updated if only for my reading pleasure! :)


The entire chapter played out like a movie (can this be a movie??) - it took me from one scene to the next, flawlessly and the imagery and words guiding me the entire way. You have a knack for developing characters and I find myself falling in love with all of them and wanting to know more and more about each of them. Of course, I love every slight interaction that Chester and Mike have (I am, afterall, a Bennoda girl at heart) - but it's the Mike/Brad and Brad/Chester interaction I find myself loving just as much. They have their distinct personalities, yet adapt to the character they are conversing/interacting with.


Mike's character intrigues me more and more as the story progresses... how he feels sounds.. does that make sense? That's how I have pictured him - he's very intuitive. And quite possibly because of what he's endured and because he's stayed silent, he's learned to feel his environment. Either way, I want to see how he progresses, how his relationship with Chester unfolds, what his brother's role is here, what happens to the rest of Chester's crew, Chester's backstory, the Colonel, Brad's backstory and his computer - just everything! Can you tell??


Oh - and no pressure, but I LOVE the long chapters! I know its hit or miss with some readers, but when I sit down to read, I want to be swept away! I want to get lost within the words. And having a chapter that is the perfect length is ideal to create that environment for me. I'm at a loss whenever writers apologize for long chapters because they are like drugs to me!


Thank you SO much for updating and I eagerly await the next! :)

From: Kasai

Date: 2016-07-04

Chapter: 1

Seriously? No one reviewed this yet?? I know this site isn't what it used to be and there aren't many readers left... But this is a stunning masterpiece. I was hooked from the first word to the last! I do hope you update and continue - this is incredibly original abs refreshing. Before I delve further - I just want to say that even though the site is quiet, I love that we can all still come back here and put our writing out there. Writing offers me such a wonderful outlet and I find myself wanting to know how my own stories will finish. Regardless if people read or review - it's therapeutic enough to write. To do what you're passionate about and love.


On to the actual story at hand. Your descriptions never cease to amaze me - they carry you through the story. The paint the story and create a gorgeous illustration - one that you do so, so well. As I mentioned before, it's completely original and I'm craving more of this. It isn't your typical M/C story sbd it takes you out of the realm of normal. It almost feel post-apocalyptic - if that makes sense. I feel it's set on a entirely different planet in an entirely different age. And I love that. It takes me out of the now and transports me to a wonderful world - one that evokes an array of emotions. I'm tense, nervous, on the edge of my seat, angry, confused, fearful, hopeful - it's just an amazing experience reading this story. Reading your work in general. I've always loved and admired your work greatly and I can't wait to read more of this.


If only for me - if only for yourself - please update and continue this amazing story!


PS - sorry for typos! Wrote this on my phone with 5% battery because I absolutely could not wait to review or take the time to plug my phone in!

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