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Show me. by squashie

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From: SonataNocturne

Date: 2018-04-04

Chapter: 4

Finally had chance to read this! "I’ve suddenly found a great deal of joy in the idea of Delnoda." Yasss, Delnoda in the air definitely. It has been very sneaky, lol. But oh my lord... This was so beautiful and sad <3 My reviews probably don't make a lot sense but that's cause I am speechless.

From: webbie

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

Holy fuck! Wish I could offer you more than that...

From: Violet Raven

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

Oh. My. Goodness.

When I saw that there was another part of Show Me, I immediately thought i'm gonna get sad again. Because that's how it always been with fanfics dealing with Chester's passing. That's how I felt afer all three previous chapters.


But I didn't feel sad, not even when Mike spoke about Chester. Instead, I kept giggling throughout the whole chapter. Allow me to thank you for that, please. :) I love Delnoda, especially this type - the one that is somehow based on the fact that they've been best friends since they've been kids.


"...You’re going to get bites all over your pretty face and they’re going to turn into blisters and then burst and you’ll have scars and none of the girls will like you anymore and you’ll get teased.”


“I already get teased.”


“Yeah, but now it will be racism AND jokes about leprosy.”


I laughed so hard at this. :D And how they were fooling around and they didn't even notice they were somehow getting turned on, until Mike'd dad interrupted them. And when Brad was listing all these moments when something almost happened. It makes me curious. I wanna know what was going on during these moments.


And is it normal that I can entirely imagine all the tent scene happening? There is something in your writing that makes it so believable. You, my dear, have a gift.

From: Penelope_Ink

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

This was outrageously fantastic. My review will suck, warning you now, because my head is spinning with this. I love Mike's abrasive attitude. He's so quick to just dismiss everything under the guise of "I suck. I'm a bad friend." I'm happy Brad doesn't let him get away with that so they can get down to the real truth of the matter.


And this: The Chester stuff… It’s everywhere, you know? People telling me that that’s why I feel the way I do. And it seems so obvious; such a neat explanation for everything. If I’m sad, it’s because Chester’s gone. If I feel lonely, it’s because Chester’s gone. If I’m frustrated or angry or bored or unmotivated or anything, it’s because Chester’s gone. That’s what everyone has been telling me. But it’s not true. At least not entirely. I suddenly realised this, and I felt… I felt terrible. I let us both down.”


Talk about a pain in my heart! It feels so real, like what RL Mike would actually be going through/thinking. *sigh* I ache for him..in your story and in RL.


And Brad going on the camping trip, trying to relive a piece of their history. I adore that Brad has a memory like an elephant, he's rambling off all these "almost" moments between them - dates included! Which is super impressive. I can't even remember what I did yesterday, let alone what year and event happened from ions ago lol I think it really shows just how much Mike means to him.


I'm really glad Mike realized how much he needed Brad, not just in the turmoil of losing Chester, but in life. The ending was perfect, as usual. You have this way of ending your stories with the perfect line(s) that wrap it all together.

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

Ok, that was awesome... I was kind of devastated after chapter 3 and the idea of them drifting apart, but you completely got me with the new development. It's so well written that it felt like standing next to them, being part of the conversation (great dialogs btw, hard to write but also kind of good, because it gives you so much insight-view on what they want to share with each other), being part of their discussions...

I felt Brad's willingness to change something about them drifting apart more and more, paired with his anger and his other feelings he has for Mike.

The flashback was awesome, it makes me understand their relationship better and it also made me cry a little bit, when Brad refers back to it, telling Mike that he wasn't ready.

So.... Great. Just great... If you feel like writing more about them - I would be up for reading it ;)

From: hattu

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

That was really nice to read! Loved all chapters!

Especially the last one. Sometimes it is just wrong to let your friends alone. Sometimes you just need to invite yourself!


Hope there is more to come!

Hattu

From: Indee

Date: 2018-04-03

Chapter: 4

it's my favorite chapter so far! after being heart broken by them drifting apart from last chapter, to see them finally coming to term is really a heart warming. I love the way you write their exchanges, so in character. the slash is just smooth, not quite explisit but still beautiful. I also enjoy the journey to the memory lane when Brad remind Mike of those times throughout the years. i wonder what happen all those times :D

From: malaiyas

Date: 2018-04-02

Chapter: 4

I like Delnoda only if it's really well executed... and this was exactly that.


I love how Brad just invited himself. I'm a big fan of dialogue in general, too, because... people talk. That's real. You could write paragraphs about how they're such great friends, but the dialogue shows it. And, in this case, yours showcased tension, but also friends falling back together and beyond that, too.


The bit about whether what Mike is doing is fair. I love how he acknowledges that it wasn't fair with Chester either, yet here he is again, doing it with Brad. Just so human -- that nagging feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this" but doing it anyway.


For some reason, too, when Mike's talking about the mosquito bites, and he says, "it's like the opposite of a super power," or something to that effect: I swear, I could hear Mike's voice actually saying that. Just reads like something he'd actually say. lol.


Looooove this!

From: tfybike

Date: 2018-04-02

Chapter: 4

OH MY GOD. I forgot I wasn't watching a movie for a second...I have no words to describe this piece as a whole because the writing is too good and it's too emotional and I'm too emotional and gahhh. But the sex I will talk about! I was SO RELIEVED when you did the right thing and had Mike on the bottom! Mike is the bottom, people. I just can't with this fic.

From: lpfan503

Date: 2018-04-02

Chapter: 4

Ahhh!! You did it!!! <3 <3 <3


I love that Brad just forces himself into Mike's self-imposed isolation. Good for him. That's probably what he should have done in the beginning and it would have saved them this whole mess.


The way you described Brad now, with his little bit of gray hair, the lines about his eyes... so perfect. And the way Mike describes himself as older, it just made me think about how I'm always thinking, 'man, Mike has aged well' because Mike is my baby, but truly they have all aged well. I have loved them in all their phases.


All of those questions Mike asks himself when he first gives in and they kiss... ugh. My heart. Just... the way he thinks of Chester, and all the morality, just kills me. I have to say I DID NOT expect Mike to be bottoming, but it really seemed natural in this situation, where Brad is the one finally being assertive and going for what he wants. It fits. And I just melted over Mike videoing Brad as she slept. *sigh* so sweet. <3


THIS: "He might use it in a music video. He might not." I love how you used this line to tie things together.


Thank you for writing this!!!! I feel so much better now, haha!

From: littleblacksubmarines

Date: 2018-04-02

Chapter: 4

I think I love this more than I love the first chapter! You write them so well, I’m in love. Angsty Delnoda is my absolute favorite.


Please continue to share your stories about them ❤️

From: Violet Raven

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

Jesus Christ, this is so sad. I shouldn't have read it in 2 AM. Nighttime makes everything more emotional.


I'm on the same board with other readers. It feels like Mike is too concentrated on himself, his own grief and also his own healing process to truly care about Brad. Well, of course he cares about him, but it feels like he's subconsciously trying to avoid Brad because he started to heal, while Brad didn't. So when he sees Brad, it reopens the old wounds. And because Mike is just a human, he tries to run away from these feelings.


I so hope that the real life is different for them. :/ They've been friends for so long... I don't want this to separate them.


Thank you for this story, as always briliant job!

From: malaiyas

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

I, too, am obsessed with that song. And I cried a little bit when I listened to the two of them yesterday. ugh I love him so much!


And this. Everyone copes differently to where I could imagine them drifting apart. I would hope that wouldn't be the case, of course, but ... :(


I get the impression that once again, Brad came to Mike for answers... but this time, it was like he didn't actually have any questions, so when the "answer" was sex, he just couldn't. And I'm glad he couldn't because it would have stemmed from an unhealthy place on both of their behalves.


Just so good! x

From: malaiyas

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

...And chapter 2 is not disappointing! I am of the belief that all women are at least a little gay. lol.


You've captured this really well. It has this bittersweet, desperate kind of feel to it while still maintaining the element of sensuality. If it was going to happen, I could picture it happening this way. Tasteful, too.


And what a beautiful line to end on!

From: malaiyas

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

Your update prompted me to read this whole thing. Another little gem that I haven't seen before!


So, chapter one... omg. Ugh. I feel that heartbreak. I love how it starts and ends with Twitter. Like, turning to Mike was the one thing that brought Brad out of his self-constructed shell. Really good symbolism tied in there, too. :)

From: Penelope_Ink

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

I agree with the other reviewers. Really hoping there's no reality here. I hate the thought of Mike and Brad (or any of the guys) drifting apart. But, in a way that's the road they've come to. Mike is off doing his own thing, and just like in your story, he's doing it by himself. That moment when Brad asks if he needs a guitarist..gosh, it makes me think, "Did he ask in real life? Did they all ask? Did Mike have to look each of them in the eyes and say no?"


I feel for your Brad. He's so sad and left behind. And the part about them being equals and now they're not..I see that in real life too. Mike's doing it all on his own. I hope your Brad will be okay. I'm glad he left, actually, well, maybe not left, but I'm glad he didn't let it get physical. It would have been pity sex. Or at least he probably would have felt that's what it was. Then again, sometimes people don't call because they don't know what to say....not because they don't care. Though, it never feels that way.


*hugs* to you. I love Mike's new songs and I'm so very happy for him. He really is starting a new path. I'm excited to see where it will lead him...us.

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

Puh... The first chapter was awesome and just a wonderful recap of Mike and Chester as well as a wonderful tribute to Mikes and Brads friendship. Because actually I saw it like that, as a friendship-thing. The flashback was super hot and the idea that Mike is passing on his feelings for Chester to Brad was kind of heartwarming (now when I write it, it seems strange, but that's how I felt when reading it).


The second chapter was quite hot actually, so no apologies ;) Two wonderful women, what can go wrong when writing about them? It was tasteful and expressive and I adore both of them, so I was completely happy about that chapter.


The third one killed me. Seriously. The idea of Mike and Brad drifting apart is just killing me... I really, really, really hope that they stay close. They are friends, like since forever. I mean I really see were it came from and the new songs are not leaving me either (they are playing on repeat since the release. I mean it, I even fell asleep to them yesterday night). The songtext fits in the chapter really well but it also made it even more heavy. So you really got me with that one... I had to re-read chapter one to calm myself down afterwards.


To sum this up: You are definitely able to write in a way that it triggers a lot of emotions in me and thats a great gift <3

From: lpfan503

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

OMG. Or is Brad mad because even though Chester is gone, Mike is still only "around" when he's not wrapped up in his grief for Chester? Because in the first chapter he accuses Mike of not really being able to be present for the rest of the band as long as Chester is there, which Mike (acts?) like he was unaware of until Brad said it. So maybe in this 3rd chapter Brad is upset because Mike has proven that even though they had their tryst, Chester still holds that power over him that makes him unable to see the rest of the world around him? OMG, I don't know but I got all excited thinking that was the connection! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME.

From: lpfan503

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

*sigh* Mike's so wrapped up in himself he can't see Brad unraveling. This makes me so sad, in that I certainly hope that this is not the case in real life.


/fiction, it's fiction/


I remind myself constantly that we really don't know what they are going through, and Mike even says himself in lyrics that he's holding back things we don't know.


Anyway, back to what you wrote. You know that you are obligated at some point now to show what happens between Mike and Brad. Does Brad walk away because he thinks Mike just looking to fill the empty hole Chester left with Brad? I get him, I wouldn't want to just be a replacement either. Especially if the relationship wasn't important enough to nurture in the past few months.


“Brad…” he begins, and the twinkle is snuffed out. <--- Hardest line to read ever! God, I certainly hope that's not the way of things. Mike seems so confident in his choice to go this alone, I hope the other guys are really okay with it the way that he says they are.


Is this chapter all about how Brad is the only one who hasn't really moved on yet? I admit, I'm a little lost in this one, trying to figure Brad out, trying to figure Mike out. There's a lot that has to be read between the lines on this, and I think I'm missing your intent. Which of course means that you must write more. Or maybe I got it, and it's just achy. I don't know. I told you the other day how much I adore this story, I love the whole Jornada del Muerto part of the first chapter, it's stuck in my head on repeat. Even though that's not the point of this story, it's Mike and Brad's relationship, really, that is the point of chapter 1 and 3. So-- to sum up this really confusing review, what I think is: Mike's been self-absorbed, when Brad shows up he makes a move, and Brad walks away because Mike's still only thinking about himself. Am I right at all??

From: SonataNocturne

Date: 2018-03-30

Chapter: 3

Oh. My. God. That was just... Pure perfection. My poor heart is broken but it was so beautiful! I try to avoid angst cause I love to write it, but reading it just... well breaks my heart. Thank you for the lovely piece <3

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