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Reading My Eyes by SonataNocturne

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From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-12-03

Chapter: 19

I'm so glad Brad trusted Mike with his nightmares! Poor thing. I think it was necessary for Mike to hear what they were about, so he never even thinks about trying it again. And good that he's interested in Mike's work. Show he's fully accepted it. Ah, just love the boys talking and being on the same page :). Lovely update! Thank you!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2018-12-01

Chapter: 19

I love this story so much, although (or maybe because?) it makes me cry sometimes.


Talking about it always helps, they should keep talking about everything that's happened, and also I like how you tell the story of how Mike decided to make videos for every song.


Please update soon :)

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-11-29

Chapter: 19

Talking is good!It's hard and maybe hurtful, but otherwise something is in the way. It's there, unspoken between two people, lingering around. That will never end well and I'm so happy that Brad opened up and trusted Mike to deal with it. I think that was actually the best about it. Not only that opened up (which is good for him), but also that he shows Mike that he trusts him enough to handle the situation. That's a good thing in their friendship right now. And Mike could always rely on Anna and talk it out with her if it's now stuck in his head. Because she knows anyway, so he isn't talking behind Brad's back.

But I think it isn't necessary. Mike handle it well. He is really getting better. It's to normality yet but as Brad told him before and get's to hear himself now: It's going to be fine. Really reinsuring. I'm glad you wrote all of this down. For yourself, to sort your head and grief, but also for all of us that read it. As hard it was in between to process the emotions, as helpful was it.

Can't wait to see how you bring this to an end. I don't want it to end but I think you reaching a point where it makes sense to leave them on their own ;)

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-11-11

Chapter: 18

I think it's such a nice thing of them to gather and distract him on a day he probably needs it. I hope in rl he was less anxious about the release. I hope he knew that we would be there.

But in this story it makes sense to picture it like this. Because interviews were hard - adding obvious scars to that doesn't make anything easier. But I think he is doing good; I mean as good as possible right now. Talking and letting the others interrupt his thoughts when they go mad at him.


Oh, and now I'm more concerned about Brad actually. Glad that he called Rob and also talked to Anna but he and Mike should talk more as well. It's not fair to try and keep the other person out of things. First because the other guys sit between the chairs then sometimes (see Rob and that he had t keep a secret) and second because it comes to light anyway.

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2018-11-09

Chapter: 18

Ahhh, this story makes me cry so much, but I will continue reading it until it's finished.


Well done, as always!

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-11-08

Chapter: 18

Noooo! Our cupcake having nightmares >o< Poor thing. But considering the circumstances he found Mike in, it'd be weird if he wasn't having them. I agree with the guys that lying about the scars would be pointless. Love Dave being some sort of moderator and the voice of reason. And Rob too. Glad Brad could talk to him about the nightmares... (don't ship Rivver, don't ship, this isn't that kind of fic xD). And the Ryan thing...Awww <3 Anyway, thank you for the lovely update!

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-10-25

Chapter: 17

I love the fact that Anna is with Mike now. I bet he needed her support and just her presence overall. And now he has to focus his attention on her pain too. That's good. And I'm glad Mike talked to Brad. Not that he needed permisson of course, but it needed to be done. Good thing Brad's on board, though. Lovely chapter. Thank you!

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-10-25

Chapter: 17

I so feel you! It took me days to built up the courage to listen to Matt singing Sharp Edges! (I did Wonderfull btw).


This chapter... Don't know how to start. So maybe I will make a list.


1.) I'm glad that Anna is back. She seems to lead Mike in the right direction and gives him more stability. He has to deal with her emotions as well but that can be helpful for him as well.

2.) So glad Mike talked to Brad. He needed to, Anna was right. It wasn't easy but he got the support he needed. He had to fight for it but in the end Brad proofed to be an amazing best friend. The last sentence was wonderful and exactly what friendships needs to be like.

3.) "So. I have been making new music", Mike swallowed as he heard the couch cushion shift when Brad sat on it.

"Yeah. I kinda guessed. You wouldn't be able to stay away from it this long."

So true. He really couldn't. Which makes me unbelievable happy. Because without his songs... I don't know where I would be right now. So here the story picks up on rl really nicely.


So, I have to stop here. Loved it! But I have to catch up with so many more reviews during my lunch-break :D

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2018-10-20

Chapter: 17

This chapter made me almost cry, just like some of the other chapters. Maybe I shouldn't read stories like this? No, I like them, and I'll continue reading even if they are emotional :)


I really liked the talk with Brad, please update soon :)

From: Indee

Date: 2018-10-05

Chapter: 16

Reading this is like having Post Traumatic as a narrative which I believe is where you get the inspiration from, which means, I love it! Even though it's hard, I've always wanted to read a story of post-tragedy

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-10-03

Chapter: 16

Nope, couldn't watch the HB-show yet. But maybe soon. Sometimes I can't even explain why things in my head change but from one day to the other songs/videos/etc. are not okay anymore. I had the same with "Heavy" and when Mike played it during his tour I nearly lost it. But now I can listen to it again and most of the times it's ok :)


So, now to the chapter. I think I like the development. Because we all know that there are days that are less ok than others and that it is part of the process. I'm not that worried about that. And Mike making music is definitely good. In real life we saw how much it helped. But I can imagine that he was anxious to tell the others. Therefore I need to quote Rob here:


"It is. Whatever helps you to get better. I am still here. Wherever the journey leads you. You know I won't abandon you", Rob nodded smiling.


Exactly! Whatever helps. That's the right attitude. Maybe Mike should show up in front of Brad's house with a CD-player and play "Crossing a line" for him, like they do in romantic comedies :D No, seriously. I hope he understands it as well.


Oh, and a big compliment for the scene with Otis, when he asks about Chester. Because that's what children do, even if you don't want to answer. Or maybe don't even have answers. But the tone of that scene was perfect, so well done!

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-09-29

Chapter: 16

I'm glad Anna's back home with the kids and providing some much needed relief for the guys. Love that Tal visited them. Mike seems to really be pulling through, and the work he's putting in his new songs shows it. But mostly, how he's starting to regret having done what he did and his shift of focus toward the future and the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I love how suportive Rob was, wouldn't expect any less from him, of course. Can't wait to read the other guys reaction to Mike's plans. Brad's especially (what a surprise xD). Great update!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2018-09-29

Chapter: 16

Ok, I tought I couldn't continue reading this story because it was just too sad for me, but I recently gave it another try, I read it all, so here's my review for this chapter:


What I like: how you show the contrast of dealing with grief by kids and adults, the way you portray Mike's feelings, how he feels about making new music and what the other guys, especially Brad, could think about that, and of course that there is a light in the dark.


Well done!!!

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-09-17

Chapter: 15

Oh my heart! That was beautifully heartbreaking!! You took us through this painful yet beautiful sort of review of the show with great tact and sweetness. You even brought tears to my eyes...sniff. I love how you shifted from one of the guy's emotional torment to the other throughout the show. And I'm so happy Mike stayed strong! They all did. Makes me sad to think it must've been just as hard to them as you describe it here to pull through those three hours on stage. That ending with Brad tho. Ugh. Poor cupcake! And to think that really happened. :'( But at least here in your story we got a well-deserved hug for both him and Mike. Poor babies. I loved this!

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-09-14

Chapter: 15

Ok, I'm crying my eyes our right now... Every emotion from that day came back while reading. I think I was able to relate most of your described moments to moments from the show (would have been a bot easier with song-titles? Just saying, no critique, I guess you chose not doing it for a reason).

I barely remember how I made it through the livestream (it was really early in the morning at my place and I had to set an alarm clock to get up for it) and that I cried and laughed and panicked. Every emotion that you describe in Mike, Brad, Rob, Dave and Joe was also inside myself and when it was over I lost it and left the house for hours to walk through the rain because I couldn't handle my emotions. Reading this chapter makes me realising that you and many other maybe had the same experiences.

I watched the concert quite a lot in the months after and found reinsurance in it -

but couldn't do it in a few months now. Don't know why but I'm breaking down as soon as I start.


Ok, sorry for this rambling, back to the story ;) So, it was hard to read because if the re-living of emotions. But it also made the urge arise to actually watch it again, so maybe I will give it a try later. The way you catch the different moments is wonderful and how everyone tried to find a way to make it through the day and the show. I enjoyed the last moment most, because it shows how much Brad and Mike mean to each other and that they still are best friends and that they love each other deeply. Despite all the madness and shit that happened - in the moments were it matters they can trust each other and be there for each other. That was heartwarming <3

From: hattu

Date: 2018-09-05

Chapter: 14

Awww so nice to see mike slowly progressing. Yes he is not quite there yet, but the question is will he ever? But I like that he is trying to figure everything out.


And hearts to brad, I understand why he is careful to trust. I can understand that he is afraid to have mike falling apart again. I would be afraid too, since I guess he still not in a good place himself.

But I am glad he makes a few tentative steps towards mike and allows himself to trust him a little bit.


Can’t wait to read more!


Greetz

Hattu

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-09-01

Chapter: 14

I’m so glad they talked about it! It was definitely something that needed to be done. I really hope Mike gives them reason to trust him and powers through the show. I get why Brad can’t let go and trust him just yet. He’s afraid he’ll him if he does. I hope Mike shows them he can be trusted and that he is sticking around and won’t try to hurt himself anymore. I think the guys, and Brad specifically, need that assurance. Great update! My eyes got a little damp as I read it. :')

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-08-30

Chapter: 14

So happy that Brad was willing to talk to Mike. If you know each other that long and if you shared so much... it must have been hard for both to just not see each other. And guess it was not the first time that they had a different opinion, they managed before, and they will now!

The talk about Mike apologizing and Brad telling him how he had find him in the hotel was heavy... but also important to talk about that. Hiding feelings is wrong!

From: BlackRivver

Date: 2018-08-17

Chapter: 13

WhohoOoooOo! I finally caught up on this story! :D I read the first couple of chapters a while ago and only realized it now that I began reading it again. xD And I have to say, my heart hurts. You capture their emotions and the horrifying situation perfectly. And jeeeez...poor Mike :/ But damn does he have good friends. I have to be honest though, that I wanted to slap him over the head a couple of times. Especially when he keeps stomping on the guy’s attempts at making him feel better when they’re themselves hanging by a thread. Yes, he's hurting, but he needs to realize how much he's hurting everyone around him when they are just as broken as he is. And oh my god, I feel the most for Brad and Rob. Having to see him trying to hurt himself must have destroyed their already destroyed hearts. I'm actually surprised they haven't lost it. And Brad having to go through a second trauma by finding Mike like that, bleeding to death...damn. I feel like he should be having a major breakdown, but he can't because he's scared he'll lose Mike if he so much as turns his head for just a second. Such kind of stress on all of them after they've lost one of their best friends must be too much to bear. Poor them. Glad they have each other. They're all hurting after all. I'm so glad Mike is eating normally again and turning to song-writing. Good signs that he's moving forward right there. Hopefully he'll start spending time with Anna and the kids too. Even if just for a little while. He probably needs it. And the tribute show? Gooosh. I'm both looking forward and fearing reading that. xD I feel like Brad is using Mike as an excuse because he's the one who isn’t ready, hence why he lashed out. And I don't blame him. He's had to put his own grieving on hold. They all have. Hopefully Mike can be there for him in return now that he's getting a little better. I feel like Mike should talk to Brad about when he found him in that hotel room and ask how he's dealing with that. A painful, delicate subject, yes, and it would be hard for sure, but I guess it'd be one step more toward recovery. For both of them. And it might help Mike get better to focus on the well-being of his friends instead of just drowning in his own pain. Anyway, thank you for sharing this, Son! Must be tough writing about such painful events, so kudos to you. Can't wait for more!

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-08-16

Chapter: 13

Feels good to be back ;)


And I need to say it again: I love this story. It's hard to see all of them still being sad and angry and everything but it's also good seeing them together. We don't know how the actual decision making process for the Hollywood Bowl show was, but I can imagine that it wasn't a really smooth thing. I mean we know that Dave and Mike were the driving forces, but they always kind of are like that. I only hope that the other guys reacted a bit more positive in real life.

But for this story, it fitted really well. I mean I'm also doubting that Mike is really doing ok (not even using the word fine here) and I see where Brad is coming from. But maybe taking a next step is a good idea. Letting Ryan in and talking to him as already a big step and maybe - even though it feels too much and is awkward - maybe Mike just needs to make step after step to see where it brings him. They can't just expect him to get better when he is not "allowed" to think further and to take risks. So I think it is a good idea and I hope that they agree on that at some point. And that it is neither destroying any friendships nor any progress that any of the guys made in the last weeks.

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