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I Wish It Wasn't So by Penelope_Ink

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From: hearts.on.fire

Date: 2019-02-18

Chapter: 8

I'm loving getting to know more about Mike and Chester's past. The flashback scene was great. And Brad thinking they were wrestling :D. Aww, how innocent and gullible. I'm glad Chester got pissed and snappy. It's good to get it all out in the open.


God, poor Mike. It's obvious he's struggled so much with the guilt of ending the relationship and all his residual feelings. And Chester obviously has lots of hidden anger about it, which he should.


I really hope they can work through all of this and find some peace. Hopefully, that peace means them being together again. Your writing is just wonderful and you're portraying both of their emotions so well.


Please update soon!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-02-17

Chapter: 8

This chapter was really great, just like the other ones, but I guess this one was my favourite so far.


Sadly, my review won't be as long as the ones from the other reviewers, but i want you to know that I always wait for you to update this story and I'm beyond happy when I see a new update! I especially liked when Mike noticed the new earplugs, and Chester said he always noticed things. Certain parts in this chapter made me tear up again, and I think Mike and Chester really should be together, although it will be hard to leave their families behind. Mike telling Chester that he wasn't a pity fuck was good, so now Chester knows how Mike felt/feels about him. Also the part about being boyfriends...omg, please, you really need to update as soon as you can, but also take your time to write a chapter just as amazing as this one :)

From: lpfan503

Date: 2019-02-16

Chapter: 8

This story makes me so emotional, and not in the way your stories usually make me emotional. Usually it’s just my whole hangup with Bennoda and that little part of me that thinks it really could have been real that makes me all emotional when I read how you write them together, especially kisses (but you already know that.)


This story makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a truck after every chapter. I relate to what they are going through on a deep personal level, and you and I can get more into that later on, but there is nothing, NOTHING, like the regret of ending a relationship and both people longing for what could have been. What should have been, with better decision making, and following through with what they really wanted instead of what everyone else wanted. “I’m tired of being what you want me to be…” ← you know that’s my LP song, and I’m sorry but it sums up Mike perfectly in this story. My heart breaks for him with every chapter.


So I kind of got my answers about the band in this chapter. They know Mike and CHes have secrets, and I can only assume, if they got as sloppy as Chester says, that the band knows they were screwing around. Whether or not they know that Mike and Ches were in love, I still don’t know, but I think they know something was up. I get where Brad is coming from but I don’t care, which is really awful to say. But what’s happening is so much bigger than the guys can help with, and only Mike and Ches can fix it. I did catch that bit where Chester feels like Brad is more invested in helping Mike with his demons than he ever was investing in helping Chester with his, and that stung a bit. I feel like Chester feels like an outsider still with everyone in the band but Mike.


Okay. This memory Chester has of the tour bus/truck stop. In an affair, despite the best laid plans and rules, there’s always someone who cares more. I’m not saying that Chester doesn’t love Mike, but I feel like Mike knew up front - and should have admitted - that it was more than just a physical relationship for him. He knew when they talked about it in the diner that he wanted more, but he was willing to accept what Chester could give him. When Chester makes his offhand comment about going to Arizona skiing, and Mike latches on to it immediately, my heart hurt. Making plans for the future when your relationship is a secret only leads to heartache. It’s a dream that you think about, but never materializes, and in this case, is one more thing to think about when traveling the road of “what if.” I hate it all for Mike because I’m relating to him so strongly, and I’m sorry I’m being such an analytical emotional mess over this story.


The kisses, unnghhh. Omg, the kisses. And the entire paragraph about how things had changed since they started their affair just cut me open. Knowing that Mike ended things between them makes reading about the escalation hurt that much more because I know things won’t go any further. They won’t get to follow through on their plans and all that’s left it regret. Tons of it. And apparently a lot of suppressed anger on Chester’s part.


I was frustrated with him for lying to Mike about whether or not he thought about “them” and my heart just hurt for Mike. He’s trying to be open and honest and Chester is so hurt that he’s pushing Mike away with both hands when it comes to how he really feels. I think if he takes a moment to analyze how he really feels, he’d see that he needs to meet Mike in the middle and tell him how hurt he was. I’m looking forward to and also dreading the “end” of their affair. I know it will probably make me cry and I’m worried about what happened to Chester afterwards. I want to slap Mike for not staying with Chester, but I get it, too. When Mike is chasing after Chester when he mentions being boyfriends I could feel that desperation. He really thinks that if he’d known how Chester felt back then, thinking would be different, but the truth is, he probably would have done the same thing and broken it off in the interest of being who he thought everyone wanted him to be. And now they’re both screwed with wives and kids.


I love the little touches of Mike noticing Chester’s new ear plugs, how Chester notices how close they are sitting, how Chester realizes he wants to kiss Mike after he hadn’t really thought about it in a long time. He’s in denial and doing a hell of a good job repressing things, it seems. Oh! The pity fuck thing, what an awful thing to say. I WANT TO CRY FOR BOTH OF THEM. Mike’s reaction is so spot on. He was in love from the beginning, and I’m not sure Chester knows that.


I think this is my favorite line: “I know we had all those rules, and I tried to stick to them, but it was always more for me. And when things went that way, I was all in.” I just wanted to cry for Mike. He’s trying to make things right, and Chester isn’t listening. I think he’s afraid of being hurt again, but I’m proud of Mike for trying. He knows he can’t keep living the lie, now he needs to know if Chester wants to be with him. I really hope he does, but I’m terrified of how this is all going to play out.

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2019-02-16

Chapter: 8

Wow....I feel like I say that a lot after reading one of your stories. I apologize if it seems repetitive after awhile. Sometimes though, it's the best/only word to sum up my thoughts lol


First, and I don't say this to make you feel bad at all, but Brad saying he's glad Chester is still with us and Chester's response was almost too much. </3 I actually had to stop reading and fight tears for a little bit. If only :'(


The scene in the tour bus was more of what you're so known for-totally hot and sexy, non-sex scenes. My goodness lol Looking forward to more of that (and the sex too) obviously ;)


Not sure what to say about the conversation between Mike and Chester at the fountain. Ive got so many emotions going on right now. I do think Chester is angrier with Mike than he realizes. It's probably been lurking underneath the surface this whole time. And I don't know how in the hell they can fix it now. I said it before but Mike had no business marrying Anna.


Chester saying he was just a pity fuck broke my heart. And then my heart broke again when Mike is all but begging Chester not to forget the past but what the hell can remembering it do for them now?? Gah. Im dying to know how this ends. The suspense is killing me. Honestly. Between this and Devil's Drop, I may not be around to write anymore reviews because these stories may actually kill me o_O haha


I'll shut up now. With the combination of drama and some Bennoda, this chapter was perfection. <3

From: Samweis

Date: 2019-02-15

Chapter: 8

Okay... right now they are both driving me crazy. And by both I mean Mike and Chester. Brad is actually doing the right thing, he tries to figure out the why and how he can help. It must be frustrating to know that there are things Chester is not telling (and Mike as well), even if they all came to terms with the fact that there are secrets in the band. Which is normal I guess... There are different relationships between all of them, like in every larger group of people. But yes, knowing that there might were triggers for Mike that the other guys are not aware of and that they want to help is really understandable. And I don't say that Chester should just blur it out but maybe he should talk to Mike that the others are aware of some stuff and that he can talk to them about it.


Because, at least that's what I'm reading between the lines here, Mike was struggling with his decisions but had the feeling that he couldn't talk to Chester about it because they said they wouldn't bring this topic back. So if Mike would have felt safe to talk to Brad about his emotions, this mess could have been prevented? I don't say that he would have made this rational decision in a moment where he felt really down but yeah... I kind of think it is better to have multiple people you can reach out to, so the possibility that you actually do so is larger. (ok, this maybe doesn't make any sense for you, all this rambling, but, as you might figured, I spend a lot of thoughts on this...)


Back to the story; Brad is a good friend and I hope he is not giving up actually. Because I think he can help, especially now, that Chester is not really in a good state either. Maybe he and Mike need an outside view on this... Because they are so... argh... I don't even know the word. But them at the fountain... I can't really blame Ches for going off on Mike at some point but I'm still scared for Mike and that he is doing something stupid again because he is not getting the reaction from Chester that he might hopes for. What he said, multiple times by now, is that he wants to be back with Chester and I'm not sure if Chester ever gave him a prober reaction to that. And I don't say they should have another affair or just throw away their families and run off together; but they still can't continue like this. Speaking over the past and then ignoring it again and stating that it's something they have put behind; because they haven't. Mike is at least honest about it and I don't know why Chester is pretending that he left it behind?! (Yes, that was the moment I got mad at him and I'm quite sure that it was a big mistake to say that... Why is he hurting Mike?) And I do understand that Chester can feel what Mike is feeling because he has been there himself. All this thoughts about how life is just wrong and that he wants it to stop. He knows... Which is hurting my heart. But then, again, when he knows, why is he saying the things he said? It wasn't maybe as bad as I think it was but still...


Ok, I stop here now. That was a rambling-non-sense-review that only happens when a chapter is really leaving me all over the place (and when its written too early in the morning because I can't sleep anymore...). So, even thought the content was making me crazy, I adore your writing and what it does with me. Not that I want to feel like a mess, but I like when a story can make me feel so many different emotions all at once!

From: Samweis

Date: 2019-02-08

Chapter: 7

Sorry that I missed a chapter, I was super busy and couldn't make it earlier. But, here you get two reviews in one, because I loved both chapters and wanted to share my thoughts on them with you :)


Chapter 6: That was an important insight into their past and it explains so fucking much… Even though I don’t understand all of the decisions Mike and Chester made during that breakfast. (A comment on the side: how hilarious is it, that they have a quite casual talk about their sex-affair over French Toast and coffee?!). It is totally clear that Chester is kind of unhappy that Anna is in the picture and Mike is unhappy when Ches tells him it’s only fucking. That could have made them realise already that it’s probably a bad idea! So, maybe, this whole mess could have been prevented (and with mess I mean Mike nearly dying) when they would just had been honest with each other… Anyway, how are they even able to have this absolut serious conversation about different kinds of sex in such a casual way?! I want to be able to do that as well :D It made me laugh, even though I kind of knew that this chapter would get more and more heavy after this.

And then, coming back into the here and now… Another diner, so many years later…When Chester says that they haven’t talked about their past, I realised that that was maybe also a problem. I see why they never did, they both have families, they are still friends, etc. Why digging up the past when they decided to end things? But then again, the situation now is so fucked up, maybe it could have been prevented if Mike would have talked to Ches earlier, instead of bottling it up until he breaks down. He could have told him about Anna and the way she made him, in the end, stay with her instead of continuing whatever he had with Chester at that time. When Mike admitted that he did what he did because of the situation he feels stuck in, I was feeling so bad for Chester. I know that je couldn’t know and that it’s absolutely not his fault, but it must be hard to hear that their shared past is part of the reason why Mike is so miserable… So the ending was really heartbreaking :(


Chapter 7: Aaaand, to jump right into them having their first whatever with each other; why the heck can they be so systematic about it, so open, talking about every bit, explaining what they like and dislike, encouraging each other - and then not talking about what happened for so many years after?! But I think I’ve made my lack of understanding clear already ;) So, I rather comment a few sentences on how hot they are together… So eager to discover each other’s bodies and also how they can make things as pleasurable as possible. The way they look at each other and also care for each other. It’s all beyond an affair and satisfaction of sexual desires. At leasts that’s what I can read between the lines. Maybe it wasn’t event he intention and I’m completely blinded by all the Bennoda in my life (and wishfully thinking), but I see more than an affair here…

Again, coming back to the here and now. That notebook sounds awesome. I have one as well that I keep with me. I can’t draw for shit but I like to just doodle around and knowing that no body will ever see it makes me try it again and again and sometimes it’s just frustrating because I’ve something in mind and it won’t transfer onto the paper but sometimes it’s a good feeling to have tried. So I totally see the purpose of it and it’s a really thoughtful present. And that Mike took the time and effort to individualise every page… That’s just great and still, in the light of everything that happened and that we know about them by now, also a bit heartbreaking.

So, I will leave it her and just tell you that I really need to know why Brad is showing up?! Does he know something? He probably does. Or he wants answers and knows that Ches is probably the only one that can give him sone. Whatever it is, he is not just showing up to say hello I guess…

From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-02-06

Chapter: 7

That sketchbook.. it was a wonderful addition into this chapter. I have always thought that when people gives you handmade gifts they really do care about you... specially when is something so artistic and meaningful like this. Truly beautiful.


Omg that flashback.. you are doing a great job with these flashbacks, this is even better and hotter than I've imagine. And I don't know, but I really do love that Chester is so bold, shameless, brazen in this.. He is so full of lust and desire for Mike that I'm anticipating he will be a very passionate lover.. he will probably swallow once is his turn with Mike.. I don't think he will have any limits with Mike and that most likely will make Mike fall in love. But I also think Chester already have some feelings for Mike.. and that little confession of finding him 'fuckin fuckable' was soo on point. I assure LPFan she is not the only one LOL.. the man is gorgeous!


And I wonder if Talinda knows or suspects anything.. it seems like she doesn't know but with you we never know ;).. also being good friends with Anna is difficult to believe she hasn't told her anything.. Chester is clearly regretting the end of his affair with Mike.. I just cannot wait for them to meet again and also see their interactions in the studio... I also wonder what Brad wants.. he doesn't seem to be a big Chester fan in this. Please I need an update ASAP. This is one of my favorite fics at the moment.

From: becisamonsta

Date: 2019-02-05

Chapter: 7

I loved the sketchbook moment just wow. I did have a full review but I’m the midst of everything I lost what I was going to say. But I will tell you this, everything you described in this chapter, just keeps getting better and better, it almost feels as though I am sitting there and just watching the lives of Mike and Chester ❤️

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-02-04

Chapter: 7

There's so much I wanna say in this review, but I'm sure I'll forget half of it, I should take notes while reading...


I loved the sketchbook, I wish I had my personal Mike Shinoda sketchbook, too. The flashback to their first night together was great. I thought that them racing who can get naked faster was hilarious xD


The description of the chaos at Chester's house was good, too, and I have to agree with the other reviewer: I love your descriptions! Everything is so damn detailed, it feels real.


So please update soon :)

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2019-02-04

Chapter: 7

I first have to say that I adore your writing. The beginning paragraphs where you're describing the craziness of the Bennington house, the sketch book(which gave me some serious feels, btw), and even the desk. Like, it's those little details that make a story so realistic. I struggle to do that with my own writing and Ive always been in awe of writers who are skilled at it. Which you are. <3


Of course, Im happy about the rating change and physical Bennoda being in the mix ;) I think all relationships should be as open about what both partners like and dont like sexually as Mike and Ches are here. Maybe it's not always the easiet thing to talk about, especially in a newer relationship, but I think it's a very healthy thing.


That doodle in the sketch book...again, a lot of feels <3 You're making me want very badly for this to somehow end with Mike and Ches together and Ive been trying to NOT think that because I don't see this going that way and I want to avoid the heart break! So shame on you for making me want that despite myself :p


One thing Im looking forward to, even though it will suck, is how Mike broke things off with Chester. Dying to see how that went down.


I've said this before but I love this story and the slow unfolding(there's a better word than that but Im drawing a blank right now o_0) of the past. Looking forward to the next chapter :)

From: lpfan503

Date: 2019-02-02

Chapter: 7

I can’t believe you ended that flashback where you did. :/


I love the description of the sketchbook. We know that it was give to Chester by Mike after their affair ended, which makes it all that much more poignant to see the time and care Mike put into tagging each page. Those little tags are just a constant reminder that Mike is there in Chester’s life, and it’s too sweet. It’s declaring a little secret between them, and I adore that.


Talking about positions and what to try first seems so natural between them. I can’t imagine that conversation NOT being awkward with anyone but the two of them! It surprised me that Mike was the assertive one, especially since he’s the inexperienced one of the two, but I loved his conviction and how he was ready to just go for it. Mmmmm, and the Chester slowing him down with the kisses, ahhh, I love the kisses, even if they aren’t on the mouth. And there’s Mike, already looking at Chester’s lips and fantasizing about them.


And wow, the two of them getting naked and looking at each other and thinking about each other, that was so HOT and they weren’t even doing anything! You blow my mind with stuff like this. I don’t know how you can make the act of getting naked and not even touching each other so intimate and sexy. I think it’s my favorite part of the whole chapter.


Okay. I lied. This is my favorite part of the whole chapter. → ““I’ve been ready since the moment I first saw you,” Chester answered” ← YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE, CHESTER. I know i’m like the minority who has found RL Mike totally fuckable since day one, but I agreed with Chester here. I actually said, “hell yes” out loud when I read that. :D


Okay. Chester hoping that Mike would swallow… I don’t know, it kinda already feels like to me that Chester is hoping for more than a casual fuck relationship. I could just be reading into it, but it’s Mike’s first ever blow job. To hope he’s gonna swallow seems really wishful. I don’t know how to explain what I’m thinking, I guess. Maybe that the act of swallowing is more intimate than not swallowing? I don’t know. But even though I expected Mike to back off, I was a little disappointed. His reaction, though, was perfect. I think in this case, Mike watching Chester orgasm was actually the more intimate thing. But again, maybe I’m just crazy.


Fuck this interruption before Mike got his… haha. But I LOVE how Talinda recognizes the signs of arousal on Chester’s face, and FUCK if Chester thinking about Mike is turning him on, god, that’s so hot. So Chester seems to also have some regrets! He flat out thinks that it’s Mike’s fault they’re in the situation they’re currently in… so I can only assume that they have both been pining for each other all these years, and the hopeless romantic in me just adores that.


And the doodle. <3 But… what if Talinda had seen it??? o.O

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-01-28

Chapter: 6

Oh Mike, why did you get married to her in the first place?!


That's what I'm thinking everytime yoou post a new chapter to this fantastic story. I can't tell if you will let this story have a happy anding or something that will completely crush my heart, but of course, I hope for a happy ending :)


I liked all the explanations in this chapter, and that the reader got a deeper insight in how they started the affair.


Please update soon !

From: hearts.on.fire

Date: 2019-01-24

Chapter: 6

You made me tear up!! Poor poor Mikey. You described his feelings so well. I can definitely see why he felt so hopeless. I hope there will be some more flashbacks, especially after that "it was more than that by the " line. Wonderful chapter!

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2019-01-24

Chapter: 6

Wow...just wow. :'( Please, please don't wait too long to update this. I can't...no. I hate Mike saying he can't go back now and how it's overwhelming and how he pretty much did what he did because of the finality of the situation and my God, that cut straight to my heart :(


I don't know what your plans are for this, but since you warned us it's a darker story than your usual my hopes aren't too high for a happy ending. Im along for the ride no matter what. Just hoping maybe through flashbacks we get some fluff/slash? I did notice the rating change.


I was very surprised to learn the affair was totally planned and calculated. That's a great indicator of just how unhappy Chester was in his marriage and Mike's level of desire for Chester. Not to mention that Mike had phone sex with Ches while Anna was around??? That speaks volumes! Anna was right there! Im assuming they're having sex at this point and Mike could've easily had actual, physical sex with her but instead he sneaks off for phone sex with bandmate? Again, wow. Im really feeling like he had no business marrying her.


Can not wait for the next update.

From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-01-24

Chapter: 6

I definitely didn't see this coming.. so they planned the whole affair... it was not a drunken mistake or that they got caught up on a moment of lust and desire. They did plan it, they put rules, they talked about it thoroughly.


They agreed to the affair despite Chester being married and Mike having a relationship. I guess as they also thought, Chester no longer gave a fuck about Sam at that time... but what about Mike, was him not happy with Anna? His desire for Chester was probably stronger I guess.


I need to see what happened when Mike ended things between them.. what I'm thinking is that when Mike broke it off Chester was probably falling in love or at least starting to develop feelings for Mike, and most likely Mike crushed him... knowing how Chester's mind works in here he probably also thought Mike regretted the whole thing or that he couldn't ever be good enough for someone like Mike.


They agreed to not talk about it ever again, but that was just denial and hidden feelings waiting to resurface for years. And now is when they are resurfacing.. And Mike feeling overwhelmed didn't know what to do ir how to fix things, since he was the one that messed up. Mike wants to go back and be with Chester but he knows that is probably no longer possible since so many things has passed.


Please give us more flashbacks of that relationship and how did it changed from affair to probably something more meaningful for both of them. I'm secretly here waiting for you to upgrade the R Rating to NC-17. That would be awesome. Damn this fic is so good, most likely one of the best you have written.

From: allby2000

Date: 2019-01-24

Chapter: 6

Hurt know how much Mike is hurt, all feelings that he's trying to hide.💔😟

From: lpfan503

Date: 2019-01-23

Chapter: 6

I actually had to step away from the computer and compose myself. Trying to hold back the tears on this chapter made my throat ache. This was really, really hard to read, and I mean that in the most loving way. This is one of your most exceptional chapters ever, in any story, and that is really saying a lot.


I know I’m such a fangirl sometimes, but I admire your writing so much. You are the master of writing emotions. The real human kind, not just lust. I think that’s my absolute favorite thing about your writing. There’s an element of desire present between your characters, but it’s leveled up about 100 notches by all the emotional buildup you take time to develop. It’s really remarkable.


So - you got me straight off with “It was only a little lie.” Maybe I’m all emotional about this chapter from a personal level. I’ll tell you the story sometime. All I’ll say here is, I think you’d be surprised how many affairs start off like this. A meal. A conversation where the real feelings get left out and it’s ‘just a fuck’ even though both sides know better. Rules are made. Along the way all of that goes out the window and suddenly it’s a mess both people are trapped in, and someone decides it’s time to stop, or they get caught. That whole meal, and Chester’s thoughts after the flashback, are a perfect summary of how it goes down. And then, of course, there are the uniquely Mike and Ches personality things that make the whole description endearing.



Love, love, LOVE the inclusion of the story title in Mike’s thoughts in the flashback. You’re so brilliant.



→ Maybe because that’s when it all really started. . .when I went from being Chester to Chessy. When we started making out. When we stopped using protection. When we broke all our own fuckin’ rules. ← This hit me like a fucking brick. You couldn’t have made me feel this more if you’d physically pushed me. Again, there it is… the way people in affairs end up pregnant, because all prudency goes out the fucking window and all that matters is LOVE. Damn, my throat closed up here because it was just too much for me. What a paragraph.


Then there’s Chester ordering less bad food, and Mike breaking the pact and ordering like they’re twenty again… I could feel his regret instantly just from the description of the food. The whole scene with Mike confession had me on the verge of an ugly cry. Hand over the mouth and everything. It still amazes me that you can make me feel that way, but it doesn’t surprise me anymore. The back and forth between them as the truth comes out is just perfectly written. I could feel Mike’s anguish and Chester’s incredulousness and almost denial.


→ “I told her the truth though, I told her it was you and that we were. . .that we were fucking on the side.” / Chester sat back, his empty stomach no longer begging for food. He would be lucky if he managed to drink his coffee as he sat, trying to process everything. Fucking on the side. By that time, we weren’t fucking. It wasn’t fucking anymore. . . / “I’m so sorry, Chessy,” Mike said, distressed. ← FUCK. Like. FUCK.


→ “And then you got married and your family got real complicated with the kids and Talinda and then Anna got pregnant and before I knew it, what we had was really gone.” ← And this is how it goes. Suddenly everything you want is so far gone, and all you have left is memories that you torture yourself with and wish you’d done things differently. Have I mentioned how strongly I’m relating here? I’m just an emotional wreck over this whole chapter.


It does hurt, and there’s no way to fix it without destroying everything. All of that pain made twice as hard by the denial they have to live in every day as they continue the band. And… what about what happened to Chester when Mike ended things? Did he go into a downward spiral? And do the guys know? Fuck. I know I say it all the time, but this might be my favorite chapter/story yet. I don’t know how you do it.

From: Samweis

Date: 2019-01-15

Chapter: 5

Wow. How much you can say without saying it just through gestures, hinting and being around each other in a certain way. Just wow... The flashback comes in nice, it gives some important information (still, I need more!! What happened back then between them? It was more than flirting, wasn't it?!).


Maybe, next time, you could either leave a bit more space between the Now and the Flashback? Then it indicates better that we are looking into the past ;)


I'm glad that Anna was more chill this time. It must be hard on her, so I don't blame her on being a bit bitchy the last time. Still glad that she is trying to be nicer. Because it's not Ches' fault. Nothing of it (I hope).


Really curious what Mike wants to tell him though. I mean... is he going to answer the Why? Because I need to know...

From: becisamonsta

Date: 2019-01-14

Chapter: 5

You should know just how much I love your writing. The flashback just fits perfectly to what you had offered to the chapter, great job as always, I love it :)

From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-01-13

Chapter: 5

Omg that whole flashback... if speaks volumes of how much they were onto each other without clearly saying it.. I mean, the whole banter started so innocently but then they were unmistakably flirting with each other.. they admitted considering the other sexy.. even on top of their female couples..


Mike wanting to design Chester's tattoo... ugh so intimate.. I hope you will be so kind to maybe write another flashback with Mike's reaction when Chester finally gets it done.. that would be awesome!! And I cannot even imagine when he had the Linkin park tattoo done.. I always had considered that such a bold move from RL Chester.


I could feel some longing on Chester's side, something like a little subtle jealousy, when he was asking Mike about Anna and if he would marry her and saying that he was sexier than Anna lol .. and then this bit “Well, if you decide she’s not the one, let me know. Maybe I’ll take a stab at the boyfriend side of you.” oh Lord .. could he be clearer than that?


And of course Mike saying that he could have them both at the same time!! He said it as a joke but we all guess he definitely meant it... and then maybe that's what ended up happening and probably ended in heartbreak for everybody.. but let's see how you gonna show us that.. can't wait.


On the other hand, Anna apologizing to Chester.. not sincere at all... she just wanna be in good terms, for everyone's sake. And Mike sounding like a recording with the little Otis just broke my heart. I hope he gets to love him soon.. even if he doesn't love Anna or regrets things in this life or decisions he had made, is not the little boy's fault.


Mike touching Chester again and wanting to meet him had me on edge, what does he wants? He will finally open up to Chester as of what happened that made him wanting to hurt himself or he has feelings resurfacing and wants to reminisce old times..? whatever it is I cannot wait for their meeting.

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