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I Wish It Wasn't So by Penelope_Ink

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From: Esmeralda

Date: 2018-12-05

Chapter: 1

This is so different from the other fics you have on the site and I gotta say I still can identify the little touches of humor that you drop here and there. Right until Chester went to Mike's studio and saw what's going on, I was thinking this was still a light fic regardless of your warning. But I can see there is big drama coming up.


It's good to see a diferent approach on their characters since we barely can find any stories where Mike is the weak one or better to say the one struggling. Hopefully he can recover, I know he will... so he can open up to Chester and let him in. And I completely agree with the stress of being a new parent, it can be really overwhelming.


Thanks for placing this around the ATS era, for me it was their best time and I adore the looks they had during that time. Mike looked really handsome and Chester changed a lot from his HT years. My absolute favorite album. Hugs!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2018-12-05

Chapter: 1

Sooo, at first i was like 'ahhh, another story from her, I'm so excited!', but then I read that it was going to be dark, and I hesitated to read it.


I read it anyway, and for some reason, I couldn't wait until I was at home, so I read it on the bus, which was the wrong decision, because all the other passangers thought for sure that i was a crazy person...


But now to the story: it's very interesting and I have to find out what happens next; of course I hope that Mike survives, but I don't really doubt that. Btw I hope that everything is fine now in your family. I need an update, soon! Please :)


Well done :)

From: lpfan503

Date: 2018-12-04

Chapter: 1

Ok. :) I have to say, reading the first line of this, I thought Chester was talking to Mike on the phone. HAHA, oh, my little Bennoda heart. <3 But I should know better than to expect a story where things are easy. And you disclaimered it, so I don’t know why I thought it was Mike.


Anyway. You say Bennoda, but Ches and Talinda seem very loving and cute in the phone convo, so I guess I’ll wait patiently. Unless this is one of those platonic Bennoda things, which I GUESS I can get on board with. Wait. What was the rating. Brb.


R! *sigh* Fine.


I guess I’ll get to content. I like how you describe the Shinoda’s house. Everything in order, in its place. Very Shinoda-like. The picture of perfection. High miantenance, which Chester doesn’t want to be, and I like that difference between them already.


The interaction between Anna and Ches when she came to the door felt off to me. Not in the way you wrote it, but in the way that Chester was expecting her to act differently. And for her to say that Mike’s been difficult seemed un-Shinoda-like to me. They seem like people who would keep differences in-house, and not air their laundry or difficulties.


I love this line → “He waited a moment before he leaned in close, trying to pick up the sound of Mike…” Ah, the sound of Mike. The sound of a man constantly working. I love how Chester is trying to be quiet and manages to mess that up, and that’s when I knew something was wrong with Mike. I went from, ‘poor baby, he’s exhausted’ to ‘something’s not right.’


I read this at work, which one of these days I’ll learn some self control and stop reading your stuff at work, but it ended up the way your stuff always does - me making some random exclamation out loud, then clamping my hand over my mouth until I’m finished reading. This time I kept saying, ‘no,no,no, not Mike’ and probably sounded like a crazy person. The stuffed frog in the hallway is ominous to me. Like it’s supposed to be this innocuous thing, but it’s like the harbinger of bad news. I don’t know. It stuck with me.


Chester’s reaction is so genuine feeling and ugh. Just ugh. I’m so glad he decided against letting Mike sleep, because then it could have been too late! And I KNOW you won’t do that to me, so help me God, I will stop reading your story. I probably won’t, but I’ll be bitter the whole time. Just so you know. Somehow waking the baby was awful, even though clearly it’s not the worst thing happening, but the idea of Otis screaming his head off while Mike is being taken out on a stretcher just tore at my heart. :( Then there was the frog on the blanket, and I was thinking - fucking frogs! - and Ches and Otis crying together before Chester got himself together just made me an emotional wreck.


SO. I’m intrigued. I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll like it. I know I’ll like the writing, but maybe not the content. Mike is my baby. You know this. But I’m ready, even with the R rating, the lack of tangible Bennoda upfront, and the possibility that Mike just overdosed. I’m here. Damn it.

From: Samweis

Date: 2018-12-04

Chapter: 1

I don't really know what to say, so I keep it simple. I send you a big hug. Obviously you don't need to talk about things but remember that we are here if you need someone. You can always get in touch if you want to <3


The start of the story was... hard. But yes we were warned. So I don't complain. I knew that something was off from the second Ches knocked on that door. I can't explain why but I had this uneasy feeling inside. And I was right... I really hope Mike will survive this and that it's a "he-is-struggling-and-that's-why-it's-sad-story" and not a "he-didn't-survive-and-that's-why-it's-sad-story". But I guess I'll have to wait and see... I'm definitely hooked, eve though that might be wrong to say, seen the fact that it started directly with a huge drama. But yes... we will see.


Another hug to you before I'm taking off <3

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2018-12-04

Chapter: 1

So sorry about your weekend *hugs* I hope everything and everyone is okay!


As usual with your stories, you have me hooked with the first chapter. I did get a chuckle out of Chester's thoughts about how he even managed to kill his cactus. Reminds me of my Mom. Plants never live long with her. It's an automatic death sentence lol


Obviously, Im hoping Mike is okay :( That would be such a scary thing. Im just wondering if this was self-inflicted in some way? Mike usually isn't written as the one with those kind of "issues" so, if that's the case, this would be a different take on Mike. Maybe Chester gets to save/help Mike this time? Intriguing start.

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