Devil's Effect by Penelope_Ink & lpfan503

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From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-10-15

Chapter: 3

Sorry for my really late and short review, but life has been tough lately... read this several days ago and just wanted to drop a few words to let you know how much I liked this chapter. Starting with Jason and Mike interactions in the beginning, I appreciate the way their friendship is developing and the fact that Jason was able to open up to Mike and Mike was actually there as a friend for him.

Chester and Ryan had me really worried, when they started drinking I was so afraid they would end up having sex there in Ryan's apartment in that night apart from their boyfriends. I'm glad they did not sleep naked and despite the fact that I had a bad feeling on them being alone sleeping together, I also appreciate the fact Mike accepted Chester to sleep away from him without any jealousy, that really showed how much Mike has grown as a character. Please let Jason and Ryan talk it out.

Please update soon!

From: halvlang

Date: 2019-10-15

Chapter: 3

I'm drowning in work but still want to let you guys know that I read the last chapter and I really liked it. The relationships that Mike and Jay developed is beyond my understanding but I'm grateful for it. It shows, and I know I've said that before, how much Mike grew as a character.

And I'm glad he did because Jay can lean on him. He can even share all those feelings he has regarding Mark with him and that is really important. I know that Mike wasn't around for too long but maybe that's exactly the outside perspective that Jay needs in this situation. And Ry is not the one he can talk to about it. I guess, seen that Mark was so controlling, Jay doesn't have any other friends to go to with his feelings. I think it sucks that he is so hurt by Mark's passing and I wish he wouldn't but I see that he can't just stop thinking of him and also the accident. And he has a history, he was in love. Even though Mark treated him like shit later, Jay is right, it wasn't always the case. So I do understand him and I'm glad that Mike listens, even though he doesn't understand really.

And the relation between Ry and Ches... I don't know. Yes, they are close, and I agree that there can be a physical connection that not necessarily comes with an emotional romantic one. But I can't shake off the feeling that they miss having sex with each other and I'm afraid at some point they will act upon that...

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-10-15

Chapter: 3

This was again a great chapter, but I have to say that it got me a little worried for several reasons (which I think is something you want the reader to feel).

Firstly, I don't want neither Chester and Ryan nor Mike and Jason to cross any boundaries while they're alone. I especially had a bad feeling about Chester and Ryan, but I know that they love their boyfriends, and they feel (or are supposed to feel) only friendship for each other. Let's wait and see how this turns out.

Secondly, Mark is dead but he still interferes with everyone's lives, which is another reason why he is one of my most hated fictional characters. You two are doing a great job portraying the impact Mark has on people! I hate him so much, jeez...I keep hoping for Jason to realize what kind of a person Mark really was. I think to some degree, he does realize this, but he also doesn't want to admit how Mark abused their relationship.

Anyway, please update soon, I'm always happy when I see a new chapter posted :)

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2019-10-09

Chapter: 3

Thanks for the chapter dedication! ❤️ You guys are too sweet. And I’m really going to do my best to see this through till the end. Wish me luck! 😬

Now, as far as this chapter goes...it could’ve been worse? Well, worse for my defective Bennoda heart anyway. I really thought major line crossing was going to happen with this “night apart”. Very glad it didn’t. *breathes a sigh of relief* I mean, Ches and Ryan both said some things that were concerning but their past together is intimate and I can totally see how that would lead to confusing feelings/desires. And, as a side note, I do love their friendship BUT that’s exactly where their feelings need to stay. Inside a friendship. Nothing more. There. I’ve said my peace. 😝

I feel so, so, so bad for Ryan and Jason. 😢 Like, there aren’t words. I feel for Ryan because he always feels like second best and then he’s lying there wondering if Jason is thinking about him or Mark. Gosh, my poor, poor heart. 💔

Then Jason with all of his mixed up feelings and the guilt...I can only imagine. And how he was holding onto Ryan’s pillow. 😩

By the way, the portrayal of Jason and the trauma/aftermath of being in an abusive relationship is spot on so far. A close relative of mine was in an abusive relationship and everything dealing with that is resonating with me from what I know she dealt with.

Not that I’m shocked, but the writing in this is so good that Mark’s dead and gone, and I still find myself hating him more and more. 😡 He’s the real reason behind all of this - the confusion, the hurt, the mixed up feelings, the misplaced guilt. Not to mention all the damage my Bennoda heart has suffered. 😒 Is it wrong if I want you guys to bring him back from the dead just so I can hit him and you can kill him again??? Because if it is, I still want you to do it *shrugs* 😎

Please, please let Ryan and Jason make up?? Like, in the next chapter? Both couples desperately need alone time. I know money is an issue right now but maybe Chester and Mike could get a hotel for a night? Or vice versa? Something. Oh, and you promised Mike and Ches are going to make up for the interrupted bathroom sex so I’ll be waiting patiently for that! 😉

Okay, one last thing and I swear I’m done. I like how we’re getting a little more background information now. Like, we got more details about what happened when Jason tried to leave Mark and the details behind Jason and Ryan’s first kiss. I love those little tidbits.

Awesome job! As always. ❤️

From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-10-07

Chapter: 2

I cannot help but to be on Jason's side in all this issue with Ryan. Ryan needs to understand that is kind of soon for him and Jason to be too affectionate in public. Even holding hands is a thing, yeah! Given the circumstances that surrounded Mark's death and that Jason was the person that actually pushed him to death, I don't think being seen with someone else shortly after burying his husband is a good idea. Ryan has to understand this otherwise their relationship will not survive.

The bowling alley scene was really nicely written, from describing the way they played and the way they were dressed (Oh Chester!), I loved it.. to Mike and Chaz getting in on in the public restroom! Dammit I wanted so much for them to do it! I'm so glad Mike still feels the spark for Chester.. I was really worried that had already faded.

Cannot wait to read the next chapters and what a real life will bring to them, that modeling job and specially what will happen to Jason and Ryan.. I'm glad you have some chapters written already. Love you guys!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-10-03

Chapter: 2

Such a good chapter!!! I'm so happy you two updated this, because I already know that I'll love this story and cannot wait for updates :)

Seeing Jason and Ryan fight was a bit worrying, but I hope they'll make up soon. They have a lot to talk about now. All of them going out together to bowl was really nice to see because in the end, they are still friends with the people they worked with.

Then, the scene in the public bathroom! OMG! I wish you would have let Mike and Ches have a little more fun before they got interrupted...the scene was so hot, seriously, but then there was the knock on the door. Please let them have some privacy again, they really need it xD

Also, please update soon!!!

From: hearts.on.fire

Date: 2019-09-29

Chapter: 2

First off, I'm really liking the normalcy of everybody's situation. Early twenties, looking for jobs, worried about money and apartments. Going bowling. Much different than "What kind of porn scene will I have to film in front of all my friends today?" It's a nice change, even if you look deeper it is far far more complex than anything even close to "normal".

I'm still so curious about this modeling gig and and very wary of the whole situation. Things that sound to good to be true usually are I feel. And Ryan and Chester may not see any shady business as easily as others may. After all, this will be their first "real job" and they've gotten used to a very very unusual work atmosphere.

The whole bowling scene was great. Ya'll painted a very believable scene and I loved it. I love bowling, but like Mike, I am terrible at it. It was fun to read.

Okay, the fighting between Jason and Ryan. You did such a good job of slowly building the tension between the two of them. With every touch, I got more and more nervous that somebody was going to snap. I feel terrible for them, mostly because I can see both sides. Jason is right, even with Mark gone, they have to be at least a little cautious. But, being with somebody and not being able to show any affection, or even worse receive any, is hurtful no matter how reasonable it is. It broke my heart for both of them.

Mike and Chester in the bathroom. Holy...just wow. Dirty bowling alley bathroom? So so gross, but I was totally on board for it!! So spontaneous and so surprising for Mike! When Devon went in to get Chester I actually said "noooooo" out loud. God, I wish he could have waited another couple minutes!!!

Another great chapter ladies!

From: halvlang

Date: 2019-09-29

Chapter: 2

Haha, yes, I can imagine that it is hard to let go go "your" character(s) and I didn't expect that you would switch them. I just was curious about it ;)

So, chapter 2... And already so much drama! Seen all the shit that happened in Devils Drop I'm not surprised. The first part of this story had all the "lovey-dovey" parts in the beginning, when Mike and Ches met, with Mike being a bit of an awkward guy but at least with a stable life somehow. Now, things are different. A lot. I cannot repeat often enough how big of a character development they all have gone through. And mostly for the good, I need to say. Other mights disagree. But because with all that have happened they could have turn into another direction but they kind of developed to be really great people. Hurt but great. I mean in what previous scenario would Mike have said yes to this model-job? He trusts Chester and he also trusts Ryan somehow and they all manage to manage to live together and support each other. So, in my eyes, they all grew a lot and they have developed into much more adult, trusting and respectful people, somehow.

Ok, that was a long, weird monologue. Sorry for that. On with other things that I want to comment on.

Mike and Ches nearly having sex in a public bathroom! More character development right here! I would have loved for this scene to actually happen but yeah... I'm already happy with the fact that Mike just said yes, that he even had the same idea as Ches, that he eases up. I like this new Mike ;)

And it's good that he gets back into teaching, even though he is concerned about the money. Which is fair, but it will turn out ok. He can prove that he means it, he can get his students back. I'm sure!

Ry and Ches starting to be models. Yeah, I can picture that. I hope this is not the source of drama here, but yeah... I also know you guys, so it probably is... :D

What else... All four of them going out with Devon and Caleb was a nice idea. They are friends, after all. Even Mike has to admit that. Maybe, next time, Ches can get him to go out without bribing him into it with Nachos and cheese!

So... I think I ran out of topics here and I have to come to the one thing I actually don't want to think about. Ry and Jay fighting. It broke my heart in a million pieces, for both of them. First I was a bit angry at Jay when he told Ry that they cannot act like a couple in public yet. But after the fight and Jay being super down, I feel for both of them. It must be horrible to be in love, to finally be free, but still being haunted by the ghosts of your past. I don't want to go into more detail because I already cried enough about this scene and all I can do is hoping for them to be ok again. They deserve it. (I know, I've said that a million times by now. That's why I will end this review here)

From: mermaid_life87

Date: 2019-09-28

Chapter: 2

So I’m here. Tentatively. Damn it lol

I just couldn’t stay away. Despite knowing my heart is probably going to break with this story. But you *promised* this is still and will be a Bennoda story so I’m going to trust you even if I don’t see how right now.

Here’s a quick list re-cap of the first two chapters:

1.) The funeral scene. I loved it for how well done it was. Very realistic and I could picture everything. Hats off to both of you. I would struggle so hard with a scene like that and it would probably never come out the way you guys were able to do it.

2.) Forrest. My feelings about him match everyone else’s. He seems super shady. And I know the guy’s are desperate for cash right now, but I can see this being a little more than what he’s letting on. Even if it’s not porn, it could still require Ryan and Chester to touch and/or kiss during shoots which I’m sure will lead to issues and drama.

3.) It goes w/o saying that I’m all about spontaneous Bennoda bathroom sex. ;) God, that was hot. And I REALLY wanted them to continue. Damn Ryan and Jason! Also, I was relieved to read Bennoda so early on in this. I wasn’t sure there would be a lot of Bennoda slash in this second part and, even though they didn’t finish, and this is only the second chapter, I was beyond happy to see they’re still so horny for each other. :p Especially Mike for Chester.

4.) Speaking of Chester...your description of him at the bowling alley...*drools* The outfit, the eyeliner, and that collar. Fuck. The things I would’ve let that man do to me. o_O But that’s a story for another day :p haha

5.) My heart hurts for Ryan and Jason right now. :( Mark’s gone but they’re still sort of in this weird limbo. They’re still not completely free. And I want that for them so badly. They deserve it.

6.) The close living quarters would get really old, really fast. I don’t envy them that, that’s for sure.

7.) One thing that really stuck out to me was Jason’s response to Ryan grabbing him while they were arguing. That was spot on. You guys totally hit the nail on the head with Jason’s trauma response to anyone - even Ryan -

trying to keep him from walking away/leaving when he wants to. One of those reminders of Mark you guys mentioned. ;)

Okay. Like I said, I’m here for now. If there are chapters that are harder for me, I’m thinking I just won’t review those chapters? Simply because you’ll get as sick of me saying the same things over and over again as I’ll get of saying those same things over and over again lol

As always, you ladies are incredible. <3

From: Esmeralda

Date: 2019-09-26

Chapter: 1

Yayyy!! I wanna say thank you guys for coming back and continue with this amazing story and picking up exactly where it left off.. awesome!

Don't have too much time to review but wanted to point out a few things that catch my attention... first I don't understand Chester still grieving for Mark at all.. he was so mean to him and Mike.. I will support Mike if he gets pissed at him... well there are so many things Chester does here that I don't necessarily understand or agree to. Like I cannot wrap my head at the idea of Chester even considering the job offer from this Forrest guy.. after fighting so hard to leave YRS.. this screams trouble!!! Again I will be supporting Mike if he decides to dump him, hope I'm not sounding too harsh.

Also yup.. they should be definitely looking for a place to move and leaving the loft to Jason & Ryan.. I know Jason wouldn't like them to go, even if they are uncomfortable but being that he is growing too fond of Mike, he will probably will asked them to stay by his side unless until everything is settled. Is a way of keeping him close.

The whole funeral scene was written very well.. the descriptions vivid and I could figure Mark in the casket in my head. Again Mike showed his common sense when he suggested Ryan shouldn't be riding with Jason on the way to the funeral... of course Jason cannot arrive with his boyfriend to his husband's funeral... no need to even talk about that.. is just common sense.

A part of me hopes Ryan and Chester can start thinking straight and see that this modeling offer is probably not a good idea... but the other just want then to accept the offer because I love complications, drama, villains and all that comes with it... cannot wait to see where this new journey will take us!

From: JellyfishLP

Date: 2019-09-23

Chapter: 1

Yay, you're back with the rest of the story! I was looking forward to this story since you finished the last chapter of 'Devil's Drop', and I was SO HAPPY to see this first chapter posted.

Anyway, now to the chapter itself: I liked that you started out with the day of the funeral, instead of making a time jump. Also, living together with 3 other people in the loft has to be really stressful, I could never live with that many people in such a small space. Mike and Ches have to look for a new apartment!

Then, the job offer at the funeral. Who does that? On the one hand, it would be great for Ches and Ryan to find a new job, and on the other, this model-agency guy sounds kind of shady. Plus, they can certainly do other jobs that don't include selling their bodies/looks. Ches definitely has to talk about it to Mike.

Pleaseeeee update soon, I'm already looking forward to more :)

From: halvlang

Date: 2019-09-20

Chapter: 1

You are back, you are back, you are back :) This probably made my whole week!

I'm so happy that you just picked up where we left the guys in Devil's drop instead of jumping like years ahead. There is so many things that I want to know, so many remaining questions from the last chapters and so many uncertainties about the future that I want to read about all of them! To celebrate this, here is a list (which is probably going to be the most used review-form I will chose because it's what this story needs and deserves ;)

1.) Step number one, leaving Mark behind for real, was not only kind of a real ending of Devil's drop but also the start to something new, something without some of the demons from the past. Even though, as Ches and Jayson made super clear, it's not all just goes but will stick with them for a while, in one or the other way.

2.) The way that all four of them kind of arranged their life together now, even though it is chaotic and everyone lacks off personal space, is fantastic. It shows how much solidarity, understanding, loyalty and love there is. Yes, its tense, but it works. And it is probably what Jayson needs, a really stable and broad safety net of people that care about him.

3.) Going to the funeral must have been awful and I totally understand that all of them are weird out about the different emotions. I think it wouldn't have even been that bad if Ry would have joined Jay in the car.It doesn't matter what others think, at some point their relationship will be out in the open anyway. I just think they should tell Brad. It might be a shock but he deserves to know.

4.) The model guy... At a funeral, seriously? I mean, it's not the first time that I hear of inappropriate behaviour at funerals (like someone ask my grandma about some land and if she would sell it at my grandads funeral...) and I hope Ry and Ches both are aware of that they can do more than selling their bodies, in one or the other way. They could both find other jobs, being confident in having some talents that are not related to porn and how you look like. But I know you guys and I know you love drama (who doesn't, otherwise all stories would be super boring) and, just guessing here, they will call that guy.

5.) I like that they all want to get together. It's important to hold onto each other when life goes in a different direction that you thought. That goes for all the boys working with Mark. Maybe, when they talk to also former employees, they can figure out that there is a life outside of porn and they can see that they can find something else to do.

Ok, I think that is it. I have just one question, out of curiosity. Did you decide to stick to the roles you were writing? I mean this chapter had the same flow than Devil's Drop, so it's not that I can tell that it's two people writing, but I was just wondering if you decide to keep it they same way or if you mixed it up?

From: hearts.on.fire

Date: 2019-09-20

Chapter: 1

The end of Devil's Drop left me really worried about all the stuff left up in the air- Mike and Jason, Chester and Ryan, Chester and Mike, Jason and Ryan, everybody's future as far as careers and money and where to live, and what would happen when they started combing through Mark's estate. I'm glad you didn't make us wait too long to start finding out.

Ugh, I can't imagine living in a one bedroom loft with three other people. I would be going crazy just like Chester. I liked the contrast between Chester worried about straightening up Ryan and Jason's unmade bed and Mike thinking it was weird to make up a bed that wasn't his. It's a weird little thing, but I think it says a lot about their different personalities.

I've always been a little concerned about Chester's drinking, and that seems to be getting a little worse. And it says a lot about Mike's growth that he doesn't really say much about it, knowing Chester's upset and stressed out. But then again, maybe he should still be making a big deal of it before it gets to be a real problem.

I liked how Ryan and Chester both thought Ryan should ride with Jason, like it never even occurred to them it would be strange for him to. And then Mike saying of course he couldn't. And I don't think it was necessarily a conversation Jason and Mike had had beforehand, but it just shows the similarities in their personalities.

I think it's super weird to offer people a job at a funeral, so I'm not sure about this Forrest guy. It seems like a pretty sweet offer, but maybe a little too good to be true. Curious to see where that will go.

There seems like there's so so much drama to come and I can not wait. I'm so glad y'all decided to continue this story!

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