LPfiction

Category Linkin Park

Summer's Not For The Depressed by Yassim

Summer's Not For The Depressed

Disclaimer- This is all just a figment of my imagination.


I started writing this a few weeks ago when inspiration just hit me over the head ^^ I was just remembering how much of a bad summer I had (this story has nothing to do with why I had a bad summer. It's an original idea that just popped up in my head) and I thought, 'hey I'm not the only one in the world who had a shitty summer' and I thought that it might be something other people could relate to ^^ So if your still interested, all reviews that I recive will be answered at the bottom of this page. This my first attempt at this kind of fic so constructive critisisim is welcomed.


Warning- This story contains suicide and rape (not very graphic) so if you are sensitive toward this subject, please refrain from reading on.


~*~



Chester’s eyes flickered behind the tender skin of his eyelids. He murmured something incoherently and shifted painfully against the warm body that he was pressed against.


Earlier, he had been invited to go clubbing with his friends and had gladly accepted. He and Mike had gone together but had lost track of each other fairly quickly in the large mass of gyrating, sweating bodies and strobe lights. Chester moved easily with crowd, happily dancing and grinding with whomever he was passing by to get to the open bar. The heavy beat of the music made Chester’s ears throb and he was loving every second of it.


Hate, something, sometime, someway,

something kick on the front floor.

Mine? Something, inside.

I'll never ever follow.

So give me some thing that is for real.

I'll never ever follow.

Get your boogie on...

Hate, something, someway, each day, feeling ripped off again.

Why? This shit inside.

Now everyone will follow.

So give me nothing just feel.

And now this shit will follow.


Chester grinned broadly when he recognized the song. It was by Korn and for some reason it always made him want to grab a dance partner, mainly somebody who was sexy and good at dancing, rub against them and grind the night away.


God paged me, he'll never see the lie he wants to see

God told me, I've already got the life, oh I say…

God paged me, he'll never see the lie he wants to see

God told me, I've already got the life, oh I say…


Chester gladly danced with whom ever rubbed up against him as he made his way to the bar. As his destination came into view as he neared the bar, Chester suddenly felt himself being pulled back into the sea of moving bodies. He was yanked against a hard body and he put his hand against the others chest when they- he, pressed Chester too close for comfort. Chester grinned with relief when he looked up into the glazed eyes of his best friend. His obviously very drunk friend.


“I can’t believe you’re already drunk, Mike,” Chester called to him, barely hearing his own voice over the heavy beat of music. The song had changed now and was playing more of a gothic beat. “We’ve only been here an hour!”


In response, Mike pulled Chester through the slithering bodies and unceremoniously yanked him outside. Chester pulled on his arm to try and go back inside but to avail. Mike was much stronger than him; probably even more so when he was drunk like this.


The sudden cool air that hit them as Mike forced Chester go outside made him shiver.


“Mike, what the fuck are you doing?!” Chester was finally able to pull his arm free and he rubbed it gently. “I haven’t even had one drink yet and here you are, yanking me out into the fucking cold!”


Mike just looked back at Chester with big, sparkling eyes and a small, unintentional pout forming on his full lower lip. Chester sighed and ran a hand over his face.


“Fuck, I hate when you do that.” Chester pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked back at Mike and sighed again. “What do you need me for?”


Mike blinked adorably at Chester; looking confused for a moment.


“I…I want…wanna go home.” He whispered, ducking his head and still giving Chester a wounded puppy look.


“Okay,” Chester sighed heavily. It looked like he was stuck missing out on all the fun. Again. “Get in my car and I’ll take you home.”


Mike spun on the spot and searched for Chester’s car. What did it look like again? He turned back to Chester confused.


Chester groaned loudly and stormed over to Mike and grabbed his hand. A drunk Mike usually equaled a sober and frustrated Chester. He pulled forcefully at Mike’s hand and the other boy struggled to keep up, tripping over his feet and stumbling constantly.


“Chaz-” Mike hiccupped and whimpered. “Chazzy, you’re hurting me.”


At the sound of his friends wavering voice Chester slowed his pace and allowed Mike to catch up to him. He slackened his hold on Mike’s hand and brushed his thumb over the other boys knuckles.


“I’m sorry,” Chester whispered sincerely. “It’s just…I hate when this happens,” He looked over to Mike who seemed to be deeply fascinated with Chester’s hand. Chester continued in a quieter voice, talking now more to himself then Mike. “When you get drunk and I have to take you home because if anyone else did it, you’d probably end up getting in a car accident…”


Mike looked up at Chester at that. Chester looked back at him and his lips twitched into a small smile.


“I suppose if keeping you alive means having to leave the bar early then it’s a small price to pay.”


When they arrived at his car, Chester unlocked the passenger side door for Mike and helped him get in. He quickly jogged to the other side of the car and hopped into the drivers seat.


“All buckled up?” He asked, looking over at Mike.


The other boy shook his head quickly and moaned painfully. Chester chuckled softly and leaned over to ruffle Mike’s hair.


“Don’t want to do that to fast, bud, you’ll give your self a head ache.”


Chester reached further across Mike and pulled the seat belt over his chest and lap and locked it into place.


“There ya go, Mikey.”


Mike nodded slightly and leaned his head against the side window, closing his eyes tiredly. Chester’s gaze softened at his friend looking so innocent. He smiled faintly and turned back to the front of the car, starting it up and pulling out of the bar’s parking lot. The radio played quietly as Chester sped through the damp streets and he hummed softly with the tune. Mike shifted somewhere next to him and Chester smiled slightly.


He didn’t like getting mad at Mike but sometimes his emotions just got the best of him. Mike was the most important person in his life and he didn’t know what he would do with out him. Probably sit at home and wallow in self-depression. Chester chuckled softly at that. Like that would ever happen, he and Mike were joined at the hip and would never separate. They needed each other too much to be apart. Or, at least, that was how Chester felt.


Figuring it was pointless to drive to Mike’s apartment when it was so out of the way, Chester pulled into his own drive way and opted instead to just set up Mike in the guest room for the night. Chester pushed open his car door, got out and walked over to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door and helped a drunken Mike stumble out of his seat.


Mike blinked blearily and, suddenly feeling dizzy and light headed, he reached out a hand to grab Chester’s arm. Chester stumbled for a moment at the sudden extra weight being pushed onto his body but quickly regained his balance. He turned to his drunken friend and smiled sympathetically. He was going to have one hell of a hang over in the morning.


“Come on, Mike, I’ll help you inside.” He wrapped an arm around Mike’s waist and felt Mike’s own arm slip over the back of his shoulders.


The two made slow progress to Chester’s door and as Chester stepped foot onto his welcome mat, he leaned Mike against the wall beside his door to fish in his pockets in an attempt to find his keys. He muttered a small, victorious, ‘ah ha!’ when he felt the jagged end of his keys brush against his fingertips. Quickly pulling the ring of keys from his pocket and shoving the proper one into the doorknob, he pushed open his door and wrapped his arms around a half conscious Mike.


As Chester entered his entrance hallway, he was greeted with his tall, looming staircase. He suddenly felt small and he looked down at a drooling Mike and then back to the staircase. Fuck, he thought. This was going to be one hell of an obstacle.




After several minutes of huffing and groaning, Chester finally managed to drag- had Mike always been this heavy? -Mike the rest of the way to the top if the stairs; how he accomplished that feat, he would never know; considering that Mike kept trying to leave Chester’s grasp every time he needed to pause for a breather. Now all he had to do was get Mike to the guest room.


Chester stared at the door at the end of his very long hallway. He groaned and looked ahead of him where his own bedroom lay, only a few feet away.


By now, Mike was leaning all of his weight onto Chester and boy; Chester had never felt so desperate in his life. He needed to get this thousand ton brick off his back. Now. Chester pulled Mike into his bedroom and dropped the boy unceremoniously onto his bed. Chester sighed heavily and collapsed next to Mike, feeling absolutely exhausted. He allowed his eyes to slip shut and he quickly drifted off to sleep.




With what felt like only minutes later, he was awoken by wandering hands gently caressing his body. Chester murmured something and swatted the hands away. Chester sighed softly when they stopped and let his mind slowly drift away, hoping sleep would again take him. Chester groaned loudly in annoyance when he felt the hands back on his body.


His eyes snapped open and landed on the fuzzy form above him.


“The fuck?” He mumbled lifting a hand rubbing sleep from his eyes.


His gaze came into focus and he saw that it was only Mike, his eyes still glazed and his breath reeking of alcohol.


“Fuck,” Chester sat up and pushed Mike off him. “Do you need to puke or something?”


Mike just licked his lips with feral grin and crawled back over Chester’s body, pushing the blond boys shoulders into the soft mattress below them. He pressed himself between Chester’s legs and thrust his hips down. Chester eye’s widened when he felt something hard rub against his belly.


“Mike?” Chester whispered, his voice wavering. “W-what are you..d-doing?”


Chester had never run into this kind of situation with Mike. The slightly younger boy had always been a harmless drunk and never had attempted something like this before. Chester inhaled a shuddering breath and forced himself to calm down and try to find a way out of this situation.


“M-Mike,” Chester whispered, bringing his hands up to Mike’s chest and resting them there. “Think about what you’re d-doing right now. Think about t-the consequences in the morning. Sober up and snap out of it.”


Chester speech did nothing to hinder Mike’s actions but seemed to encourage the other boy. Mike’s forceful hands tugged up his shirt but before it was even half way up his chest, Chester pushed on Mike’s own chest with all his might.


Mike toppled over onto the mattress and Chester struggled to get off the bed as quickly as possible. As soon as his feet hit the ground he was running. He threw open his bedroom door and ran down the same stairs he had dragged Mike up only an hour ago. He didn’t look back as he headed for the front door. He knew Mike was behind him. He could feel and hear the other boys thundering footsteps.


“Oh, Chazzy,” He heard Mike call behind him in a singsong voice. “Where do you think your going? Your not running away from me, are you?”


Chester paused at the mat beside his door and stared at his shoes. Hearing Mike’s footsteps come closer, he decided he could go without them. He reached a hand out and wrapped it around the doorknob, giving it a strong, forceful tug. It didn’t budge. Chester’s eye’s widened and he pulled on it again.


“Oh, fuck, oh fuck,” He murmured when he saw the dead bolt was in place. He didn’t even remember locking the door at all. He looked behind him and saw Mike was close. Closer than he had originally thought. “Oh, shit.”


He fumbled with the lock and it seemed almost in slow motion as it slid open and a pair of strong arms wrapped around his middle. Everything sped up again and Chester cried out, extending an arm out to grab the doorknob. His fingertips just barely brushed the brass cylinder as he was pulled away and he felt tears spring to his eyes. Mike wouldn’t do this to him. This was all just some sort of sick joke; maybe just some deranged dream.



But he knew it wasn’t a dream when the reality of sharp penetration between his silky thighs sent unimaginable pain burning through his whole body. His wrists were held together above his head and he sobbed for Mike to let him go. That he didn’t want this.

Mike’s thrusts increased in pace when Chester struggled forcefully beneath him; every muscle in his body tightening and involuntarily allowing Mike to feel the pleasure of Chester’s tight walls surrounding his throbbing member.


He tried to pull away again but Mike held fast, his uneven thrusts never seizing. He bit his lip when Mike’s free hand came into contact with his limp dick. Mike gripped it harshly when he realized Chester was not hard for him and started to jerk him off roughly. Chester sobbed louder and he could feel a burning bile rise in his throat.


“Ple..ase..st…stop.” He whimpered, jerking his hips away from Mike’s thrusting ones.


Mike ignored the plea; just as he had ignored every other one before it.


Chester gasped when he felt something rip inside him and suddenly Mike’s thrusts seemed to become faster, entering him easier then before. Hot tears slipped over Chester’s flushed cheeks. He knew he was bleeding and it hurt worse then before now. The stinging and sharp jolts of pain through his body were unbearable and yet he could do nothing to stop it. Nothing to ease the hurt in his body or his heart.


Chester finally gave up fighting and submitted his body to Mike. His trust was shattered but if this was what Mike really wanted then he would comply. He just wanted Mike to be happy. He allowed silent his tears to flow freely down his cheeks and made no sound of protest when Mike’s thrust started to become more erratic; more desperate for his release.


“See, baby, I knew you’d come around,” Mike panted into Chester’s ear, referring to the other boy’s abrupt submission. “I knew you’d like this.”


Mike’s hand released Chester’s wrists and moved beside Chester’s head to hold his weight up. Chester made no move to push Mike away, even going as far as to wrap his arms tightly around Mike’s back and burry his face into his shoulder. Although Mike took this as a good sign, Chester really was just trying to hide the tears that were flowing endlessly down his cheeks. Right now all he wanted to do was please Mike; even if it was hurting him.


Chester closed his eyes tightly, telling himself that he was doing this for Mike when he felt Mike seize up above him and shudder as he spilled his hot seed into Chester’s body. Chester released a small sob as the salty cum stung the several cuts inside his body.


Mike pulled is bloody, flaccid member out of Chester’s swollen and bruised opening and collapsed against the other boy in a heap, murmuring something to himself softly. Still sobbing, though quietly, Chester pulled away and leaned over the edge of his bed; vomiting up everything he had eaten that day. His body shook with each searing heave and he tried to force himself to stop but he couldn’t.


He couldn’t believe Mike had just done that to him. Had violated his body in the worst way imaginable and had touched him in places where he had never allowed anyone to touch before. This couldn’t be real. Mike would never do this to him. They were best friends and trusted each other. Mike would never break a bond like that.


After he thought he was done puking, his throat searing with pain, he crawled back to the center of the bed where Mike was and curled up next to him. He could tell by Mike’s even breathing he was already asleep. Chester sniffled quietly and shivered. He could feel blood mixed with cum trickling slowly down the back of his trembling calves and inner thighs and he couldn’t muster up the energy or the courage to go to the bathroom to clean it up.


Chester looked up into his friend’s peaceful, flushed face and his lower lip trembled.


“I love you.” He whispered brokenly.



~*~



Summers not for the depressed. It’s for those little kids you see running around at the park, a dog chasing a Frisbee, for a beautiful couple on a mid summer night stroll. For best friends to spend all of their time together.


Chester sat solemnly on the stairs attached to his back porch and looked up longingly at the stars, the only source of comfort he could seem to find as of late. He tried to pretend that everything was alright. That it was normal for him to lock himself up in his room for hours on end and just lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling, contemplating his being. Why he was alive.


He tried to make himself believe that this wasn’t him, sitting alone with out any friends to accompany him. That it wasn’t him who had gone through a big break up with his best friend. He knew he couldn’t force himself to pretend for much longer. His mother was always asking him what was wrong and his father was starting to show small signs of worry.


What could he tell them? That he was depressed because he had lost one of the most important people in his life? That he just wanted to die because that important person had raped him and had taken away his jovial spirit? He couldn’t tell his parents that, they would probably make him go see a therapist of some sort.


There was only one person he would willingly open up too, but they were gone. They had left him behind to rot over the summer and had probably already forgotten about his existence. He didn’t know if he could trust the boy anymore, anyway.


“Mike.” Chester whispered softly up at the stars; as if his best friend--ex-best friend would just appear in front of him at the small request.


Just the loss of Mike had caused a domino effect. Everyone whom they had hung out with together had quickly abandoned Chester for Mike. Now Chester was left to pick up the pieces Mike had left behind. A feeble attempt to pull himself back together.


Chester sighed softly and pushed himself up off the wooden stairs. It was beautiful night out, but one could not enjoy it unless in the loving company of another.


“Please come back.” Chester whispered again, his voice starting to sound strained. Even though Mike had caused him so much pain and anguish, he would still willingly forgive the other boy. Though the trust Chester held with Mike was broken he still wanted him to be his side.


When nothing happened for a few minutes Chester tried to blink away his tears. It seemed his plea would not be heard again tonight. He frowned and pushed himself up off of the wooden staircase and slowly made his way back inside. He was glad that his parents were gone for the weekend, this way he wouldn’t have to tolerate their stares of worry.


High school was finished and he was now living with his parents. He had had his own house but couldn’t stand to be in it after…after what had happened. He had put it up for sale and had moved back in with his parents. He hadn’t even applied for a college or university yet.


As he stepped foot through the back door of his house, he softly closed the wooden door and locked it behind him. He still didn’t understand why Mike had done that. He didn’t understand why Mike had left him alone to deal with it himself. He had known that Mike hadn’t hurt him on purpose, but the morning after Mike had done that to him, when they were both awaking from a deep slumber; Mike had panicked and fled.


Chester’s eyes fluttered open and he was greeted with a soft golden chest. With a small groan of confusion, he shifted and bit back a cry when every muscle in his body protested against the movement. Why was he in so much pain? Every small movement he attempted to make was painful.


He could feel some sort of scratching sensation between his thighs and he glanced down to find the source. With one glance at the dried blood sticking to his skin, the memories of last nights events came flooding back. Chester gasped loudly and stumbled to push himself away from Mike. Scooting back further, Chester stared in horror at his best friend.


“Oh, my, god.” He murmured, bringing a hand over his mouth.


Unknowingly, as Chester scooted back, he came to the edge of the bed and accidentally fell off. He couldn’t help but let out a loud cry when his abused behind came into contact with the rough carpet. He scrunched up his nose when he smelled something putrid and glanced beside him. He was sitting beside the watery puke he had vomited up last night.

He gagged. It smelled and looked absolutely disgusting.


Somewhere above him, Mike let out a startled gasp and sat up sharply. Entangled in the sheets, Chester heard Mike struggling try and find the source of the small cry. Suddenly, Mike’s head appeared over the edge of the bed and Chester brought his knees up to his chest, trying to block his bruised and bloodied body from view.


Mike eye’s widened.


“Jesus, Ches, What happened?”


Chester’s eyes sparkled. He didn’t remember. Mike didn’t remember what had happened last night and Chester couldn’t get the courage to say anything. He could lie; tell Mike he had gotten into a fight with someone at the club. He couldn’t help but want to protect his friend from feeling the guilt of raping one of the closest people he held in his life.


But how would he explain both of them being naked and the blood- Chester’s blood that was all over the two them and the sheets. Surely Mike would put two and two together.


“I-I got in…in a fight a-at…the c-club.” Chester found it extremely hard to speak; his throat was scratchy and felt like two pieces of sand paper rubbing together every time he spoke.


Mike’s eyes took in Chester’s trembling, frail body and felt a stab at his heart. He could see dried blood between Chester thighs and ringlets of bruises around his tiny wrists. Mike frowned when he felt something scratch between his legs and glanced down; only now realizing he was naked. His heart dropped into his stomach when he saw dry blood coating the whole of his member. He looked to Chester with pain filled eyes when he realized what had happened. He had abused his best friend in the worst way possible.


“You…d-didn’t…m-mean it.” Chester’s voice was hoarse and shook terribly.


“Oh my, god,” Mike inhaled sharply. He released another devastated ‘Oh my, god.’ before burying his face into his hands.


“I…I’m okay.” Chester reassured weakly. “I-it’s not as…bad a-as it…lo…looks.”


Mike couldn’t believe what he was hearing coming out of Chester’s mouth. He had raped him. Forced the other boy to participate in such an intimate act when he didn’t want to and he was trying to tell Mike he was okay. The blood and bruises screamed otherwise. Chester couldn’t even speak properly because of this; stuttering and whimpering every time he spoke.


Chester stared up at Mike fearfully when he suddenly jumped off the bed. He watched Mike’s movements anxiously as he gathered his clothes. What was he doing? He wasn’t leaving was he? He couldn’t leave Chester like this. Not after what had happened.


Mike quickly pulled on his clothes and made his way over to Chester’s bedroom door. Chester eyes widened and he tried to stand up.


“Wh…w-where a-are…y-you go…going?” Chester cried. Why was Mike going to leave him like this? Couldn’t they get over this together?


Mike turned and looked at Chester’s trembling body with guilty eyes. Chester struggled to keep himself up with the support of the bed next to him and attempted to take a step forward. He cried out at the sharp pain that traveled through his body with a jolt and he collapsed again in a heap at the foot of the bed. Chester looked up at Mike with watery eyes.


“Do..don’t l-leave me.” Chester begged, wrapping quivering arms around his scratched chest.


Mike stared at Chester’s pathetic form and felt tears sting the corner of his eyes. He closed them to block the sight from his mind. Chester’s lip quivered when he saw a single tear slip down Mike’s cheek. Mike opened his eyes again and with one last glance at Chester he walked out of the room.


Chester’s hoarse cry’s seemed suddenly louder as he pleaded for Mike to come back. Mike ignored them and left out the front door, already knowing he wouldn’t be seeing his best friend for a long while. Possibly never again.



It was my fault, Chester thought. I should have brought him to the guest room instead.


Chester sighed shakily when he felt tears burn the corner of his eyes. He was tired of waking up everyday and wanting to kill himself and then feeling even worse about himself when he couldn’t muster up the courage to do it. He hated being depressed because he could remember what it was like to be happy but he hadn’t felt that since the night at the club. He was starting to fear he would never feel that emotion again. He was tired of feeling like this. Of letting Mike get to him the way he was; even if the other boy hadn’t done it intentionally.


He needed to fix what was broken. He couldn’t just stand aside and watched as life just passed him by.


With a feeling of sudden determination, he strode over the phone that hung on his kitchen wall. He picked up the receiver and pressed it to his ear, listening briefly to the dull dial tone. He raised his hand and hesitated over the numbered buttons. Was this really a smart idea?


Before he could really register what he was doing, his fingers had already dialed the all to familiar numbers. His hand fell back to his side as he listened to the loud ringing in his ear. After several rings, just as Chester was about ready to give up and hang up the phone, someone picked up.


“Hello?” A sweet womanish voice answered. Chester smiled when he realized it was Mike’s mother.


“um..Hi, can…may I please speak to Mike?”


“Chester?” Chester's heart jumped into his throat. Did she know about their big fall out? Did Mike ask her to hang up if it was Chester?


“Yeah.” Chester whispered carefully.


“Oh, hi honey! Where’ve you been all summer? I haven’t seen you in ages!”


Chester sighed mentally in relief.


“I’ve been on..erm..vacation.” Chester lied quietly.


“Oh, well, you better come visit soon then!”


Chester winced at her cheerfulness.


“I...I’ll try.” Chester whispered


“Okay, honey, here’s Mike.”


There was some static mixed with some murmuring as the phone was passed between the two.


“Yo! Mike speaking.”


All at once Chester seized up at Mike’s cheerful voice. He couldn’t do this; he had to bail.


“Hell-?”


Chester slammed the phone down on to its holder and inhaled sharply. He slowly collapsed onto his knees and he felt tears burn the corner of his eyes. He shuffled back against the wall and curled up under where the phone hung. His lip trembled and he quickly covered his face with his hands and let out a small sob.


Why was this so damn hard? Why couldn’t this be over? Why couldn’t he work up the courage to fucking apologize? Had Mike forgotten about him? Was he now just a forgotten memory pushed to the back of his friends mind? It had hurt so much when he realized that Mike was happy. Happy without him in his life.


God, he really missed him. It didn’t seem as though Mike reciprocated those feelings though. He was living a happy life and seemingly having great summer. Chester roughly wiped away a tear that had slipped down his cheek. He thought he had been done with crying.


Chester snapped out of his reverie when his phone rung shrilly and then died with a soft echo in the dark, empty house. It rung again and Chester shut his eyes tight.


“Go away,” He whimpered quietly. Couldn’t he wallow in his own worthlessness without being interrupted?


The ringing stopped and Chester sighed softly in relief when he heard the answering machine pick up and his mother’s soft voice drifted through his burning ears.


“This is the Bennington residence, please leave a message and we’ll try to get back to you.” A dull beep followed after his mother’s voice.


“Bennington, you fucking idiot, my phone has call display,” Mike’s voice growled. “Pick up the phone, fuck head.”


Chester’s breathing hitched and a quiet ‘fuck’ left his slender mouth.


“I said pick up the fucking phone! I know your there Chester.”


There was a brief pause and Mike spoke again.


“Pick up or I’ll kick your ass.” He growled.


In all seriousness, Mike could really hurt Chester if he wanted to and he was sounding pretty serious at that moment. Chester shakily reached up for the phone and pressed it to his ear. He opted not to say anything; he was too speechless and also afraid if he said something Mike would get angry with him. He had already gotten enough of Mike’s bad side; he didn’t think he could handle anymore.


“I can hear you breathing, Chester.”


Surprisingly Mike’s tone wasn’t as a harsh and cruel as Chester had imagined it was going to be.


Another few minutes of dead air passed between the two and the tension that hung between them was starting to make Chester go into a cold sweat. He was shaking and breathing harsher than normal. He wiped his clammy hands against the thighs of his pants nervously and before he knew it, the lonely, depressed side of his mind had taken control and started to speak for itself.


“I…I’ve missed you.” His voice was so soft he had barely even heard the words himself.


“Chester…” Mike whispered, his voice sounding highly strained. “Don’t do this.”


Chester’s lip trembled.


“Please, Mike,” He whimpered, clutching the phone harder in his quivering fingers. “I’m sorry, so sorry, I-”


“Stop it. You’re making this worse for both of us, Chester.” Mike’s voice rose slightly; he really didn’t want to hear what Chester had to say.


“Mike, please,” Chester begged. Save me...Don’t let me go. His voice shook horribly on his next sentence. “I..I can’t take it any more…it hurts, okay?! Is that what you want to fucking hear?” Chester was sobbing now and knew he wasn’t going to be able to control himself any longer. “It fucking hurts.”


It went silent again except for the small hiccupping sobs coming from Chester.


“Chester,” Mike whispered, his voice sounding almost gentle. “You know we can’t be friends anymore.”


“Please,” Chester whimpered. “I’ll do anything...anything for you.” He pleaded. Mike meant the world to him and this was his last chance to get him back.


“Chester, I…it’s just too much,” Mike whispered brokenly. “I can’t even look in your eyes because it brings me right back to…to that night…and all I-I can see is you-” Mike voice broke. “-You trying to push me off and--”


Chester heard a muffled sob pass through the receiver. Was it wrong for him to want to hold Mike and comfort him? Even if he was the one who had been victimized?


“I forgive you,” Chester said firmly, his voice raspy as he tried to compose himself. “It’s over. Can’t we just move on?” He pleaded.


“How? How can you forgive me after what I did to you?!” Mike cried, trying to make sense of what Chester was saying. “Why don’t you hate me for what I did?! For what I forced you to do?!” Mike was starting to sound slightly hysterical now. And not in the funny way. “God damnit, Chester, hate me! Fucking hate me; I deserve it! I deserve even worse then that! I should go to hell for what I did to you…” Mike trailed off but his voice rose once again, and with a confused cry, he yelled, “Why don’t you hate me?!”


“Because I love you!” Chester finally yelled back, becoming irritated with Mike’s speech.


Chester’s sudden response hung between the two. It was eerily quiet as Chester’s comment slowly absorbed into Mike.


“You--what?” Mike choked and Chester wasn’t sure if it was the cause of a sob or of disbelief.


“I love you.” Chester repeated softly, his voice barely audible.


“Fuck, I…Chester you can’t…you can’t just..” Mike struggled to find words.


Chester blinked his eyes rapidly to try and rid himself of the tears that were threatening to fall again.


“Please,” He whimpered. “I can’t do this anymore…it hurts so much with out you here.”


“Ches,” Mike whispered and Chester’s lip trembled at the old nick name Mike used to call him. He rarely had called Chester by his full first name. “It’ll only hurt more if I’m there.”


There was a long pause and the silence beat down on both of the boy’s ears. Chester sniffled softly and stood up. It was time to end this conversation because it was tearing apart everything he had left inside of him.


“When I woke up that morning,” He whispered. “It hurt to realize what you did to me. But I knew we could get through it together if we tried. You didn’t…you didn’t even stay long enough to say sorry,” Chester voice broke. “Or ask if I was okay…you left me broken on the floor and I have never felt so betrayed, so hurt, in my entire life. It hurt more that you were gone then if you had stayed.”


Chester assumed Mike was either speechless or just to damn stubborn to voice the pain he had unintentionally caused Chester.


“I have to go,” Chester said softly. “I…I love you.”


He took the phone away from his ear and gently placed it back on the receiver. He turned and made his way over to the staircase. His tears were gone and his mind was numb. He no longer had any doubt that this was supposed to be his destiny. He stepped foot onto the second floor platform and slowly made his way to the bathroom.


He opened the door and left it open as he peeled the black shirt (Mike had let him borrow it one time and he had forgotten to give it back) he had been wearing for days over his head and let it drop to the floor with a quiet swish. He leaned over the bathtub and turned the two knobs until the water spewing from the tap was a comfortable temperature. He placed a plug in the drain and turned back to the sink as the tub slowly filled with water.


He stared through the mirror at his pale reflection, his face completely void of any emotion. This was how it was supposed to be. The sound of water splashing into the tub behind him, his nimble fingers pulling out labeled pill bottles and unknowing if it was going to work or not. He was always one to be over dramatic about everything so of course he had to go out with a well-known shocker. He would also leave no suicide note for closure.


His parents would come home and find his dead body in the murky bathtub water, his face gray and his eyes open and dull. Mike would be at his funeral crying and apologizing for his mistakes.


Chester hadn’t always been this selfish but he just wanted someone to notice what was going on and what better way to do that than committing suicide. Then they would all know. Every single one of them would see the pain he had to go through.


He popped open the white cap on one of the bottles and dumped its contents onto his hand. He grabbed another two bottles and repeated the process. He glanced up at his reflection again and met his own icy gaze. He scowled and picked out five of the pills in his hand, popped them into his mouth and swallowed.


After doing this several times there were no longer any pills left in his hand to be swallowed. Chester’s eyesight was blurring and he quickly pulled off his pants, struggling with the button and zipper briefly and then also pulling his boxers off. He stumbled over to the bathtub and slowly eased himself into the warm water and released a sigh of relief.


It took only minutes before the pills in Chester’s stomach took complete action. Chester could feel his limbs slowly being drained of energy, losing their ability and becoming anchors on his body. He barely aware that his body was slowly slipping into the water and when his doped up mind did realize what was happening he was already under the water. His head was completely submerged in the water and he was stuck gazing up at the wavering ceiling.


He couldn’t breath and he could feel his lungs burning for air and yet he could make no move to gasp for breath. His body was now completely immobile. Chester’s eyes started to dart franticly around. He changed his mind. He didn’t want to do this. It was stupid, why hadn’t he thought this out further? He shouldn’t have acted on a whim.


A small whimper left his thin lips and bubbles danced across Chester’s blurring vision. He could feel all life slowly being drained from his body and everything was starting to slowly become numb. His eyesight was fading and he struggled helplessly to stay awake.


He didn’t want this.


Chester’s eyes glazed over and they stopped darting around, suddenly still in their sockets.


He would no longer have to force himself to live through a depressive summer.



~*~


Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it! I worked hard on it so hopefully it's not too bad ^^;


Lyrics were by Korn, Got the life. It's an excellent song and if you havent heard it before, give it a listen ;) It'll give you the feel of the club scene at the begining ^^


Silently Suffering </3- Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! ^^ And as for adding more chapters, I will definitly give it some thought but I've got a few stories on the go that I would like to finish first ^^; But once those are done, I may come back to this one and another chapter or so *shrug* But for now it's just a standalone ^___^


hit_n_run_me- Thank you :3 I'm glad that you liked it, I tried my best with this fic ^^ It's nice to hear you think it's different form the other M/C fics ^^ I've never written this type of style fic before so it's nice to get some feeback on it


Acceb- What are you saying?! You write awesome reviews! *hugs* Yeah, I felt bad for killing Chester off but it seems someone's always gotta die in my fics >< It just works itself out in the end and like when the main character dies (I sound horrible don't I?=( )and you get left with the feeling of no hope being left for the character...I really gotta work on my happy endings -_-' I'm glad you enjoyed it though ^^


cRiSpY cReAm- Thank you! I'm glad you liked it so much!


Kris- lmfao! man, Kris, I think you need to go back and read the ending because I don't think you realized that Chester died :P I'm glad you finally got a chance to check this out and as I said to Silently Suffering </3, I will think about adding another chapter but I want to finish my other stories before I jump into it ^^;


.stain- Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a review <3 I'm glad you enjoyed it; a lot of work went into the writing process and I'm glad to see that people enjoyed reading it ^^...Even if it is a little depressing at the end x_x

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