Category Linkin Park

I Miss You by malaiyas

The rays of sun spilled into the darkened bedroom through the cracks in the blinds, competing with the dominant shadows, though falling short as the light swaying of the blinds cut it away to let the shadows have their reign once more. Peaceful silence fell outside, accompanied only by the steady descending of the snow.

Other than his light, however consistent breathing, there was not a sound to be heard. If one would listen, the only thing they would be able to hear would be, perhaps, their own thoughts, their own unbroken breaths being taken with each rise and fall of their chest. Maybe, if they'd been in a rush, the beating of their own heart. But aside from the natural noises made from within themselves, there would be nothing.

The obnoxious beeping of the alarm clock set beside his bed disturbed the silence, jerking him out of his slumber with a start. For a moment after turning off the clock, he just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. The better part of him would have preferred to just stay in the safety of his warm sheets for the rest of the day, willing away the painful memories and instead opting to drift back into the dream world, where no such things existed. He knew, however, that if he wanted to conquer the thoughts that still stabbed at his heart, he'd have to pull himself out of that bed and face the day. Thinking of doing it was one thing, though actually acting upon it was another story in and of itself - one he would have much preferred to simply ignore and repress.

With a heavy heart and a great amount of reluctance, he pulled himself out of the bed and walked over to the window. Using the window sill for support, he stared out at the world that greeted him, and half wished that everything would disappear just for that day, rendering the painful 24 hours non-existent.

The blanket of snow coating the ground was still untouched in the early hours of the morning, adding to the serene aura of the outdoors. It was just an illusion, he knew, one that he regretted to see and recognize. The world was far more tumultuous than the snow would ever let on, and it pained him to see such a false sense of security coat the earth.

All around the world, he knew people were happy for the day to come around, but the ache in his heart simply wouldn't allow for him to feel the same light-hearted emotion. In the past, he had shared many laughs and smiles with those closest to him, but that was before he was left out in the cold by the one he loved and cherished the most. This year, the happiness and the joy would just be another activity he would be excluded from.

He had never wanted things to spoil, but the harsh words that fell from his lover's lips had tarnished every hope he had for the future. All that was left for him to hold on to were the good memories, and even despite the fact that he knew he wasn't good enough, he hoped that his love had found someone who was.

He pulled away from the window sill, a lump in his throat, and closed his eyes. There was nothing for him, not today. He had successfully alienated himself from all those who he held dear, although he hadn't even meant to. The one holiday that was meant to pull people together was the one that had managed to push them all away, but he would be foolish if he thought that he could shift the blame on an annual holiday. The blame truly fell into his own lap, and he couldn't find a way to shove it off.

The day progressively became colder and colder, but he hadn't noticed. He locked himself away and tried to keep all of the light from entering his home. Instead of trying to find something productive to do with his time, he simply sat on the couch the whole day, dressed nicely with nowhere to go, and cried into his knees.

That night, he plugged in the lights he'd hung up by himself on the small tree in his living room. He opened the gifts that he had purchased and wrapped for himself with tears streaming down his face. He knew that the gifts were from himself, but he had put the names of the people he'd isolated himself from on the small, sticky labels attached to each of the presents.

The fire that he had lit in the fireplace glowed and danced, the vehement flames engulfing the logs that he had set up carefully. Aside from the light thrown off by the small tree, the fire was the only thing keeping the room aglow. He could hear the wind outside making the wood of his house groan and creak, as well as the phone ringing off in the other room, but he ignored it just as he had the numerous other times that it had rang over the course of the day.

A knocking on the door raised his hopes up high, but he was sorely disappointed when he was greeted by a bunch of carolers. As soon as the first notes rolled off their tongues, he closed the door in their faces and returned to what would be a cozy abode, if he'd had someone to share it with.

While the world was celebrating, he picked idly at the TV dinner that he had microwaved for himself. His appetite, along with the happiness and smiles that should have graced him, were lost in the anguish and misery of the memories running rampant in his mind. Hesitantly, he took another look out of the window, saw all of the twinkling lights adorning the houses of his many neighbours, and couldn't stand the sight. His was the only house on the block not decorated, left dull as if to emphasize a point not made.

No one had known what plagued him so every year; he was always private in his affairs, and because of that, he was left to curl up with it every Christmas.

Every other season comes along and I'm alright, but then I miss you most at Christmas time.


I know that this story was somewhat vague and slightly pointless, but it's more aimed at the emotions behind it. It's not really meant to go much deeper than that. I guess it's dedicated to anyone who's ever lost someone and has had to spend a Christmas without that person. The lyrics at the very last line were from "Miss You (Most At Christmas Time)" by Mariah Carey, and I obviously do not own them, though the fiction was based on that song. This is another fiction in which the pairing is up to you, the reader, because I wanted it aimed more at emotions rather than who it's about/what, etc. Regardless, I do hope that you enjoyed reading it, and I hope it's elicited some sort of an emotion from you! It's a bit personal, so... yeah. Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll take the time to review! Merry Christmas!

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