Category Linkin Park
My December........Me Alone
A/N: How could I do this to them :(
i'll make a happy one later. :'(
wrote this last December while listening to My December. There's alot of cliches in here but ignore it because it's a fic. For example Brad doesn't celebrate Christmas....
Sorry if there's any mistakes.
My December.....Me Alone
I stumbled my way down the stairs and sat by the dinner table and looked around at my decorated home, at my Christmas tree at my day alone like everyday.
I had planned something special for you on Christmas, but you're not here and
Everything is mine now.....just me alone.
But I do feel like there's something I missed.
And I regret the Things I Said that made you feel like that, I shouldn't have.
My eyes rest on the empty chair across me and you appeared, you tease me everyday just like that.
You appear out of my thoughts and I force myself to grab the bottle of alcohol, which i keep here everyday. Its the only thing that can make me forget you for some time.
I twisted the lid and gulped it down, then looked back at the chair, and you were still there.
I knew i needed more of my medicine and I again drank half of it, but you were still there, Why? I want you to dissapear from my thoughts just like you dissapeared from my life!
I kept the bottle down and rested my chin on my arms still looking up at you.
usually you dissapear after I drank half of the bottle, but today you're still here, why?
you're smiling at me.
please don't, I hurted you and myself.
I wasn't meant for you, I was never Good enough for you.
You always held me whenever I drown In tears, but I was an Asshole!, who told you those things.
You stood from the chair and went to open the door, I saw myself step in as you opened it. No.....those memories.
They are being played in front of me.....forcefully.
You hugged me and I kissed you're soft neck, I remember it was the second day of us moving together in this house.
Then we walked upstairs and dissapeared.....
Then you reappeared on the couch with me beside you.
I pulled a small box from my pocket and opened it, it was a beautiful ring. I slipped it in your slender finger.
This was the happiest moment In my whole life.
It was the day we became one soul.
That smile on your face.
I will never see it again, and I will never forget it........
Again we dissapeared in to thin air.
Just so that another memory can be played.
This time I sat on the stairs.....so blue.
And the main door swung open revealing you.
You sat beside me and enveloped me in your warm hug as I broke into tears, you were always there for me.
You never thought I'd hurt you, Damn, I never thought I'd hurt you. But I did and.....and suddenly I remember that day.
We appeared on the floor upstairs, I was spitting words at you.I couldnt hear or remember what I was saying.
But you looked hurt and ran down the stairs, your eyes filled with tears.
I can feel myself trembling.
No, I don't want to remember this!
I looked down at you as you turned and looked back up at me on the stairs and took the ring out of your finger and threw it.
I climbed down, and I could see the anger on my face.
But for what reason was it?.
She was Everything to me, then why?
I exited the house without looking back at her....not even for once and slamed the door.
Your still watching as I left.
You walked over to this table and sat across me as tears streamed down your face.
I should've been there to wipe them....but I dont know what happened to me.
You hid your face in your arms for some moment.
Then raised wiping your eyes with your hands.
It seemed like you are looking at me, but I know you're not there.
looking you in pain is unbearable....
My eyes averted to the door as I saw it open again, and I saw me step in.
I can see the confusion on my face along with the pain I felt when I realised that you had left me.
I saw myself come towards me and sat on this chair emerging in me.
I haven't realised till now that my breath has began to weaver uncontrollably and my eyes started to burn as I glare at the empty chair with red eyes and tightly gritted my teeth while trying to hold back the sobs but the tears can't be stopped.
This is what I do each day.
Sit on this chair and drink when your memories come flowing. But it does'nt helps, it never helps I end up in pain and tears.
Everything has ended and I should be ended as well.
I blinked and loosened my jaw, my eyes burn while my teeth hurt.
I averted my eyes to the empty glass bottle.
I have always relied on it to help me in forgetting you, to be honest it never did.
But now I think it will be helpful.
I grabbed the bottle and raised it over my head then brought it down on my wrist with such force that the green glass shattered and pieces and splinters of it buried in my fragile skin.
It began to Sting and hurt....but was not as severe as the pain I was in.
I saw the blood trail down from the different cuts on my wrist....
And my eyes shut as I lost myself and my head fell on the table.
You never came back Elisa.....
And I would never come back either.