LPfiction

Category Linkin Park

Pillow Talk by malaiyas

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Hi, everyone. I hope you're all doing well. This idea came to me and I let myself run with it. It'll be a shorter chapter fic -- probably no more than 5 chapters when it's done, maybe less. I hope you'll enjoy and rate/review. x


“I’m gonna fucking cum,” Chester announced suddenly, his skin slick with sweat as he began closing in on those precious last strokes. Mike bucked his hips, cursing as the last few thrusts hit the hardest, until Chester made good on his promise and collapsed on top of him, breathless.


For a long time after, the two lay there in silence, save for the sound of their heavy breathing. Mike’s hand traced lightly along Chester’s back, sending comforting shivers down his spine. Slowly, he felt Chester gently ease himself out of Mike before relaxing again.


“I like you too much,” Mike admitted, though he quickly averted his gaze as he watched Chester’s brows knit together.


“What?” Chester pressed, prompting Mike to avert his gaze. “I’ve heard that before – ‘I like you too much,’ and then they show up unannounced at three o’clock in the morning.”


Mike closed his eyes, cringing against Chester’s response.


“Nothing. Forget it,” Mike sighed, feeling a sense of emptiness beginning to settle within him. This was why he didn’t often express his feelings.


“I like what we have,” Chester said, ignoring him. “Don’t ruin it. I don’t control how you feel and you don’t control how I feel.”


“I think how I meant it… is different than what you’re used to. It was just an admission,” Mike said, his eyes still closed. “I don’t want to get hurt.”


“How would I hurt you?” Chester asked, looking directly at Mike’s face.


“I don’t know…”


“I’m old enough to know how relationships work, and I’m old enough to know how they don’t work. I hope you’re not one that doesn’t work.”


Mike breathed out, his mouth agape. He hadn’t expected such a simple remark to open this door.


“I don’t even know what that means,” he said, shaking his head. “It was just an admission, an ‘oh shit’ moment. I’m not going to show up at your house at three in the morning. I’ve never done that, never would do that, never will do that… it’s just that any time you make yourself vulnerable, you open yourself up to being hurt.”


Chester nodded. “It’s just the feels.”


“Sure,” Mike responded, closing his eyes again. Slowly, he opened them, looking up at Chester. “I mean, it’s been a year.”


“Only a year? It feels like it’s been twenty years.”


“Shut up,” Mike laughed, shaking his head.


“I like you a lot, and I want to keep seeing you, but I don’t put up with bullsh—”


“I know, and I’m not going to do what you’re used to,” Mike said, biting his lip as his mind raced. When he first met Chester, he never would have imagined that he’d end up being trapped in a prolonged friends with benefits situation. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he wanted Chester, so he settled for it anyway in the hopes that it might change eventually.


“Good. Confidence is being restored,” Chester said, nuzzling his nose into Mike’s neck.


Mike swallowed firmly, certain that he’d never felt a lack of confidence as he had in that exact moment. He imagined standing up for himself, telling Chester that his needs weren’t being met and that he couldn’t see him anymore.


“Sunday, want to go bowling with me?” Chester asked, and Mike nodded.


“Yeah. Sounds fun,” he agreed impulsively, pushing his thoughts aside. He wasn’t ready yet.


“Okay, I’m kicking you out.”


“Rude,” Mike said with a laugh as Chester stood. He lingered there, sitting on the bed, for a moment as he watched Chester begin to dress.


His mind was racing, but he had neither the fortitude nor the ability to express his thoughts in words. Chester had been burnt several times in the past and had dealt with a steady stream of clingy psychos prior to meeting Mike. Unfortunately for Mike, this rendered Chester extremely wary of any new prospects. It was as if he was perpetually searching for reasons to walk away.


Mike pushed himself to a stand and began to dress himself, wondering if he shouldn’t have said what he’d said. The influence of the drinks they’d had prior to returning to Chester’s home served as the culprit for his sudden bout of bravery. He’d kicked the idea of admitting his feelings to Chester back and forth in his head for some time, but always resisted speaking the words, even when the moment was prime.


It had been a fucking year, though, Mike reasoned internally. It wasn’t as though he was jumping the gun.


Chester was acting normally, Mike observed, having left the room and started moving and humming along to the music playing from a Bluetooth speaker that had been left on the kitchen table. It seemed to Mike that despite his testing the waters, this situation wouldn’t be imploding just yet.


Mike walked over to Chester and wrapped his arms around him, an embrace that Chester quickly returned. He closed his eyes as he felt Chester’s lips press against him. Amazing how he could have him here, in his arms, kissing him, and yet not have him at all.


They released one another, and Mike retrieved his keys and wallet from the table before Chester walked him to the door. Hugs and kisses were exchanged before they said goodbye for the night and Mike headed back to his car, his mind full and his heart empty.


As he drove home, he let out the tears he’d been holding in since he gauged Chester’s reaction to his confession. He felt like he couldn’t do it anymore, but the idea of ending things was just as painful as the fact that he wasn’t getting what he wanted.


When he got home, he threw his keys on the table, his clothes on the floor, and went straight to bed. That was his sanctuary in times like these.


Sleep finally found Mike, but not before he’d spent time thinking, wondering how he always ended up here. This had been the most fulfilling situation he’d had in quite some time in many ways, yet it still wasn’t enough.


His sleep was troubled, filled with dreams of displeasing conversations with Chester. All the while, Chester was asleep, too, his dreams peaceful and unencumbered by the anxieties Mike was experiencing.


It was just as disproportionate as the rest of their relationship felt to Mike.

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