LPfiction

Category Linkin Park

Acetone by AmplifiedSpeculation

One.

(A/N HI! I’m still alive! (dances aggressively) Any of you fine folks still listen to Pearl Jam? Um, anyways, I was noticing my ideas were going nowhere for stories, and I’ve been feeling a bit discouraged when it comes to my writing recently, I don’t know. So I decided to make an innocent, very short oneshot to get something on LPF, so that people actually remember I exist. I haven’t gotten in touch with any authors on LPF anyway, because I have no guts to email anyone, and nobody emails me. Anyway, here.


This is still unbeta’d. So if you see a mistake, here’s some cookies for your troubles. You can find them in your nearest supermarket. Sorry, I’m too lazy to get them myself.)


JellyfishLP- Awww! Yeah, I'm pretty happy I got something on the site, it's been too long :\ I wanted to write something kind of fluffy after a few dark stories, so this is what came up. But, who's complaining? I love me some fluff :D I am thinking about the chatroom, but I might go in some other time, mainly because my weirdness is toxic and contagious. Thank you for reviewing, means a lot!


Penelope_Ink- Wow, thank you for your review! Hell yeah, I also love Pearl Jam :) Yeah, usually when I write, when things are going on the extreme negative or the positive, I always like to examine a story on both sides of the story. I think too much when I write :\ And apperently, it turns out I was just ignorant that emails don't work. (facepalms) Thank you for the R&R!


july- WHAT?! I actually made you shed a tear? Damn, I had no idea I was able to do that! (gives you a hug) Thank you for reading in the first place, it makes me happy people actually care about my writing! :)


becisamonsta- Well, shit. Somebody actually likes my stories. (pumps fist happily) Glad this made your day, I had to write something kind of fluffy to balance out my other story! I might try sending an email to you, I need more friends. Yeah, I really do need to write more on here, I don't want anyone thinking I'm dead. Thank you so much! <3


Taytay- Wow, seems like I've been in the habit of making people cry with this oneshot. (squishes you with hugs) I am really happy you love my stories, make me motivated. I've been feeling like my stories aren't good enough lately. and that is taking a toll on me. But I'll do my best to make more material! :D Thank you for reading this!


A.N.- Thanks for thinking that my story was great! Honestly, before reviews I thought it was kind of trash. XD Also, another thanks for reading this story, happy people actually give a shit about me. <3

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“I…I don’t know.”


“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Chester asked him, his arms shaking a little due to the sudden tension in the room. Mike shrugged without any emotion, his eyes still focused on the ground. The silence built up on them like heavy weights suspended in the air, both of them trying to avoid any eye contact with the other man. Then, without warning, Mike stood up from his seat, quiet tears filling up his eyes. “There was no point for me to be here. I better get going.”


He started to dash out for the door, his unsteady pace quickening with every step that he takes. This was a mistake, why was he so stupid to accept Chester’s invitation? Maybe it was inevitable, that in one point in time, Chester would want to right all the wrongs he did to him. But he’s late. Too fucking late to apologize. Noticing that Mike was going to leave without him, he panicked and grabbed a hold of his sleeve, forcing him to turn around.


“What do you want?” Mike almost spat, trying to keep his voice as composed as he possible could. The emotional build-up was starting to get to him, but he wasn’t ready to let his emotions get the better of him. There wasn’t any point to show any signs of weakness, and he won’t.


“Mike, I’m serious this time. Things will be different this time. I promise! I’ll do my best to be the best man I could be for you, I swear!” Chester tried to pour his heart out to the half-Asian, who responded with a fake, cold laugh that shook him to the core. “Yeah, I remember you promised me that already,” he reminded him, making Chester widen his eyes in surprise. Damn, was he really that forgetful? Wow, that was a major screw-up on his part.


“But, Mike, please, give me another chance!” This time he tried to sound desperate, which he was starting to be. Mike really wasn’t on board, and to make Mike his was slowly slipping away with time. He couldn’t afford to lose this chance. Mike forced him to pry his hands away, using all the energy he had to push Chester farther from him. It was obvious that he didn’t want to do anything with the older man, that it would be easier if he just left him alone.


He turned away, his back facing him, like some kind of ending to this whole problem. He turned down a chance to start anew, to set things right. It was for the best, he knew deep within his soul. There was so many things Chester said that made him feel he crossed the line, and it was too much for him. Too much for him to handle. And he was done with him. But was he sure about it?


“Goodbye, Chester.”


It seems like there was no turning back now. He made his way once more to the door, the only way out of this mess. He didn’t dare look back, making sure he made his point by never looking behind him. He tried to look like he was sure of what he was doing, like he was certain that he made the right choice. But deep inside, he wasn’t so sure.


Each step, each inch he moved away from him was a statement. Telling him that he should have never tried in the first place. That everything that he planned, every single scrap of hope that they will be together was all for nothing. All of those times, wanting to fix the things he has done to him, was just days filling his head with dreams that weren’t worth chasing.


“Mike.”


One word was all it took for his wall to collapse. Tears started to pour from his eyes, he could tell without looking. Mike could hear a few high-pitched sobs coming from behind him, and almost in a second, he turned his back. His heart split into two at the sight of Chester’s eyes red and swollen, quiet tears running down his face. Any thoughts of leaving completely drained away from him.


“Oh, god! Chester, I…”


Mike crouched down to the older man’s level, making an attempt to still keep his composure.


“Mike! I’m trying so hard already! If you want me to say it to your face, then fine! I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done to you! I’m sorry for cheating on you, I’m so sorry for my drinking problem, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Now it sounded like Chester was babbling, the unsaid apologies falling out of his mouth that should have been told years ago. The half-Asian was completely taken aback at his actions, blinking quickly like he was dreaming. Chester wasn’t the type to say apologies first.


“And you what? You made the right choice. You’re beautiful. You’re the only person that gave me a chance when everybody else turned me away. And I should have treated you like you were the most special man on earth. But instead, I tore you down. Why would you ever want to get back with a person like me? I’m fucked up in the head, I lie and lie again. Everything I ever do, I fucking screw it up, no matter how hard I try!”


It looked like his emotions was controlling him. All of the regret and despair he felt from the guilt from his actions bubbled up from the surface, making him vulnerable. It was another Chester that was in the room now, one that Mike never knew ever existed. The one that Mike wished he met earlier, the one that showed Mike that he really feels guilt. He always thought he was just this stubborn, cynical man that never shows that he really gives a shit about anything.


Now, in just a few minutes, Mike probably knew Chester more than he ever did the three years he was with him. But Mike completely agreed with him. He really did mess up. He was fucked up. But who isn’t? Mike asked the question to himself, and it caused his eyes to flood with unwanted tears. But this time, he didn’t hold them back, he just let them go.


Turns out in the end, Mike failed. He tried to put up a disguise of toughness, a show of confidence. Now, it has crumbled, exposing his emotional, sensitive side. Every sentence that tumbled out of Chester’s mouth, brought back so many memories. The times he found him black-out drunk on the couch, the panic he felt wondering if he was dead. All those fights that he got into with him, once leaving him with a broken nose that took him months to heal. But some of his other wounds, they never healed.


More tears now fell down, dripping down onto the carpet, making darker spots in the material under them. Their waterworks mixed together, the water colliding with each other and merging, making them even saltier than before.


Yet, here he was now, trying to make amends and start over again. Is it a trap? Is it just another one-way ticket to all of his problems and more stress on his shoulders? From everything he has experienced with Chester, they were never good. If it really was just a repeat, it would feel like he put himself back in hell. Maybe this whole thing was just a show, Chester just pretending to get emotional just to trick him. And Mike was smarter than that. He wasn’t going to let himself taken advantage of for probably the 560th time.


Mike’s deep pondering was cut short when he felt something warm enfold his cold, numb hand. As soon as he opened his eyes, they almost popped out at the sight of seeing Chester’s long, hard fingers interlaced with Mike’s. And he didn’t dare pull back from the older man’s touch. As much as he didn’t want to admit it out loud, it felt he needed his touch as much as oxygen. And it sparked something deep within his heart that he thought he’d never feel again with Chester. Was it love?


He always pretended that his life was great without Chester, like he was just a complete waste of time. As if he should of gotten rid of him such a long time ago. The past year had been a whole routine of fake smiles and laughs every single day. Inside, however, it tore him apart like nothing else before. It’s never easy to break apart with the person you thought you’d spend your last days with. And Mike wasn’t even sure if there even was a person to be together with anymore.


Did he make the wrong choice?


Now that he gave some thought into the question, now his uncertainty increased sevenfold. Was he really wrong not to give him a second chance? And if he really did let them get back together, is he ready for it? Was Chester stable enough for him to come back to? Hell, was it all just a trick, and everything is just going to repeat over and over again? One question turned into a hell of a lot of questions, and it soon started to overwhelm Mike, who was trying to answer one at a time.


And soon, Mike started to get tired of answering the questions his head seemed to throw at him. Maybe instead of wondering, he should just do it. He had no idea if going back on his actions was the right thing to do, but maybe he’ll find out later or another.


“Chester. Hey, look at me.”


The older man nodded hesitantly and made eye contact with Mike, and finally, Mike had a glimpse at how broken Chester was. His dark eyes were red and swollen, with tears coming down without any warning. His usual tough and ample self seemed to be nowhere, instead leaving away a husk of raw emotion left over. Mike couldn’t even bring himself to look at him for more than a few seconds, it hurt too much.


And his hand never left the other’s.


Another cold period of silence poured into the room, both of them didn’t dare to speak another word, letting the silence tense up the room. But this time, the silence wasn’t anything other than necessary. These kinds of quiet moments to reflect on one’s self was very much needed at this moment. Sometimes just not saying said more than words can ever do.


Mike was the one to break the silence, and Chester rubbed his sore eyes with his wrist.


“I can see it. You are really committed to me. And I appreciate that,” Mike told him earnestly, making Chester shift a bit uncomfortably. It was more than obvious that he was waiting for the ‘however’ to come into the conversation.


“But,” Mike finally got out of his throat, and almost from earshot, he heard a small wince from the other man. And for some reason, it really set Mike off. Not purely from anger, just from the frustration and the sorrow that he has been holding back for too long. He used the remaining remnants of his self-control to not just burst into tears and continued.


“How can I believe you’ll do things right? Every time that I seem to put my trust in you, you find some other way to smash it into pieces.” Mike didn’t filter what he told Chester, it was all his true words coming out of his pressed mouth. And nothing that he said was false. For as long as they been together, Mike felt like he should trust nobody, and maybe still to this very day he still has faith in that statement. Chester gave another shallow nod and shut his eyes, like he was humble enough to accept the fact. And he should, Mike wasn’t going to make things up just to get the upper hand.


“I’ve been going to rehab for my alcohol addiction.”


Mike’s eyes grew wide and he gasped, in almost a dramatic way. The older man just shrugged and rubbed his forehead. “I got two months left there, so you might have to visit sometimes. Visitors are welcome.” At this moment, Mike felt like giving him a big hug, but he refrained from doing so. Now this, this was great news. Finally, Mike felt like he could give the biggest sigh of relief, like the heavy weight on his chest was gone and he could take a deep breath. So many terrible things happened when he was under the influence. Mike can’t remember how many times he was beaten, hit, and pushed because he couldn’t seem to just drop the bottle for an hour or two.


“That’s great news,” Mike exclaimed almost over-enthusiastically, tightening his grip on Chester’s hand. And as soon as he said it, he could see in within Chester’s eyes. They sparkled, like they were coming back to life. His tears started to come to a stop after he told Mike what he did for himself. And that’s when it hit Mike like a rock to the head.


He did this for himself.


He probably might have done it just to impress Mike or make it seem like he wanted to get his life back on track. But before Mike forced himself to split up with him, he remember the time he packed his things and ran out the door. “Call me when you’re sober!” Mike recalled screaming, his heart too broken to do any else. He still has his vague laugh at his response implanted in his brain like he had it written it down somewhere. “As if I need help!” Chester snapped back at him, looking like he couldn’t give two shits about Mike just leaving out the door, never to return. And the rest, well, Mike wasn’t able to see what he was doing way too clearly. The tears clouded his vision before he could stop it.


So, maybe he really wants to change his life for the better. That little thought brought sunshine to him. Still able to recall that he didn’t think he needed help before, he might have done it reluctantly, but the effort was still worth it to consider. Some people don’t find it easy to admit you have a problem, and Chester was one of those people. Like his opinion was right all the time. But here he was, doing something that Mike thought he wasn’t able to.


And that really got him thinking.


“I really want you back,” Chester randomly stated all of a sudden, forcing Mike to raise his eyebrow. “I wasn’t kidding when I said sorry, I really meant it. I want to be with you, live with you, just to have someone to go to.” Mike felt his heartstrings stretch at that statement, it was sweeter than it was straightforward.


“But I’ve been stupid, I know. I done things I know I should have never thought of doing. I cheated when it was clear that you were the perfect one for me. I abused your love. And you don’t have to apologize to me one bit.” He was being so open and honest about himself, Mike was starting to wonder if the man really on the floor with him was Chester. He sure as hell didn’t act like him. And Mike couldn’t have been any happier with it. It’s making Mike realize than Chester wasn’t completely heartless after all, that there was a bright side to all of that darkness that seems to surround him.


“Please, Mike. It’s been so hard without you. I started to have depression and started to hate myself, and I probably deserved it.” There was a pause, and Mike saw a small tear that rolled down from Chester’s eyes. The underlying intolerance Mike had for the older man was great before this meeting, but Mike wouldn’t want that on his worst enemy. He still had a vivid memory of the day he left Chester’s house with blurry vision and bags full of random stuff that he whispered underneath his breath, “I hope the best for you.” And he really meant it, not to just look like the victim in God’s eyes.


Their hands were on each other so tight, it looked like both of them were starting to lose their circulation. “I know I probably don’t have the privilege to have you anymore. But if you can find it somewhere in your heart, please. Please be with me again. I’ll do my best this time.”


Mike knew fully well that he said that before, but it sounded more heartfelt than anything Mike has heard him say the past three years. If this was all just a show, Chester wouldn’t waste than much time getting emotional and faking it just to have Mike onboard. So, he really wanted to get back together.


Mike knew that he used to be confident that he wasn’t interested with anything that involved the older man. But now, now he wasn’t sure anymore. After seeing how Chester poured his heart to him, he couldn’t refuse without feeling an enormous wave of guilt afterwards. And maybe, maybe he kind of wanted to be with him again too. Life has been tough on him without Chester, and maybe after seeing this unknown side of him, it made him feel like maybe abandoning him was a bad idea.


Then, more memories seemed to have flashed before Mike’s closed eyes. The time Chester had taken Mike to the park at night, and they spend almost two hours just talking and staring into the stars. That moment when Mike had broken his arm and Chester visited and stayed there, just being there for him when he felt like the loneliness was going to kill him. The time they were making plans and having fantasies about getting married. Both of them were having fun and betting on who would be the one to propose, even Mike knew that Chester would probably be the one to show the ring to him.


It reminded him that Chester wasn’t a complete monster, that sometimes he needed to remember the good things instead of just drooling on the bad times. Of course, he didn’t feel like he was wrong to leave Chester at the time, the relationship between the both of them was so strained, that Mike felt like he couldn’t take this anymore. But, he had his own faults, too. And he didn’t have the need to apologize for it, he just had to hear the apologies coming from Chester. Maybe he needed to give him another chance. Maybe this time, it’ll be for the better.

And all of these thoughts finally led him to a decision.


“Okay, Chester. I’ll be yours again.”


The reaction that he got from the other man, you couldn’t put a prize on it. He started to sob excessively, and he embraced Mike like he would do to his mother. “Oh, Mike!” He cried into his shoulder, and Mike started to do the same. It felt like it’s been an eternity since Mike had felt like he was loved. This intense, fulfilling sensation that he doesn’t have to feel alone anymore overwhelmed Mike beyond belief. Soon, more tears dropped onto the carpet, and this time, on each other. But who cares?


“M-Mike-!” Chester stuttered as he felt Mike’s arms wrap around his neck, but Mike silenced him with a kiss. Chester seemed to have happily accepted it and enfolded his own arms around Mike’s hips. There it was, the same passion they used to have for each other. And they could feel it, their newly found love coursing through their veins and in every single movement that they made. Maybe the kiss was too much of a bold move from Mike’s part, but neither seemed to give a shit about it. What mattered is that they were no longer alone. What was important was they found their way back into the other’s arms.


“I-I need to breathe,” Chester mumbled with Mike’s lips pressed onto his, and it signaled Mike to give him a bit of space. And he was also feeling a bit lightheaded from how long they made out. He backed off, but didn’t release his hold from his neck. They both gave shallow, uneven pants as they tried to catch their breath.


Mike couldn’t help but feel like he was on top of the world. He did what he thought he couldn’t, he got Chester back. All of those months of just wondering, wondering about what he was going to do next was just thoughts. He now knew where his life was headed, and who he was going to stay with. Chester. And there was no other man in the world he would rather spend his life with. He had done the impossible, and he had never been more proud of himself than ever before.


But all of this happiness and romantic crap made a question pop into Mike’s head that he couldn’t seem to let go of. It drove him crazy, just bugging him and buzzing around in his head. He tried to ignore it as much as it could, but soon, it started to torture him and Mike couldn’t help but mention it. It was a question that was a bit unnecessary. But, not to Mike. It did bring him down, and the reality check kind of brought unwanted worry to the two. However, he really needed to know why this time, things would not play out the way they did before.


“We broke up once…who says we won’t do that again?”


Chester almost laughed lightly, but not in a joking manner. Mike was a bit confused at why he decided to laugh, but once realized it when Chester responded to the younger man by placing a loving kiss on his left cheek. That he should trust into him that he’ll do the best for them. Only time could tell what will happen to them on the road, and they have so much time to fix what they have done to themselves. It might take a while, but at least now they have the chance to repair all the damage that has been done. And Mike knew that Chester will do the right thing. Now, he trusted him more than anybody.


“The difference is that this time, I won’t let you go.”


(A/N: Yeah, there we go. Got this idea after listening to ‘When I Was Your Man’ by Bruno Mars and ‘My December’. Damn, I completely forgot about ‘My December’, brings back memories. Yeah, this was shorter than I planned, but hey, sometimes things don’t go the way you wanted to. Was this cheesy at the end? I have no idea. And I added a lot of references because I’m a total dork. Rate and review, I wasn’t so sure about how I wrote this. I’ll try to respond to them as quickly as I can. Thanks for reading!)

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