Category Linkin Park
**Authors Notes: This was my second fan fic. Everyone on FF.net said I was better at writing slash, so I created this. enjoy. **
** Disclaimer: I don't own Linkin Park. They own themselves. **
I stare at myself in the mirror of the hotel room that a band mate of mine, and I, are currently occupying. I reach up slowly and carefully twist a few of my bleached blondish yellow spikes to perfection. I’ve used just the right amount of gel to make each of them stand up just how I like them, all over. I tilt my head to the side a bit, running my tongue over the silver loop that goes through the middle of my bottom lip. I’m one of those people who are really..um..self-conscious about their appearance. So I have to make sure that everything is to my liking, before I’ll go out in public. I check the silver ball chain around my neck, reaching down into my small bag and pulling out a few pieces of black spiked jewelry I wear. I wrap the black spiked collar around my neck, latching it so that it’s just a little loose, and you can still see the silver chain I’m wearing. I run my fingertips over the sharp, silver spikes that protrude from the black leather collar. I grin lightly, then snap the black wristbands around each wrist, each having matching silver spikes sticking out. Then I place a few more bracelets I’d gotten from random places at random times on my wrists as well. I gaze over the blue and red flames that are tattooed into my pale skin, extending from my wrists. They’re my favorite of the few tattoos I have. I glance back up at the mirror, studying my own reflection with my haunted, dark brown eyes. Then I place a pair of simple, black-framed glasses on my face, and I smirk lightly. I smooth the black t-shirt that covered my torso out to work out any wrinkles. I grab my black belt that had two rows of silver pyramid style spikes around it, and slid it through the belt loops of my black combat pants, buckling it. Without my belt, my pants would definitely fall off. Everyone said that I should eat more, to put some meat on my bones, since I’m so skinny and scrawny. I think I eat plenty, I don’t know, I guess I’m just like that. I check my reflection one last time and put my toothpaste, toothbrush, hair gel, comb and all of that stuff back in my bag, zipping it up. I reach down to grab the bottle of red hair dye that had fallen on the ground, when a loud knock at the door makes me jump.
“Chester! Get your ass out of there! You’ve got to be ready by now, fuck! You’ve been in there all damn morning! Come on, we’re going to be late!” I can hear my friend, and fellow band mates, voice flow through the door. I sigh and grab my stuff, unlocking the door to the bathroom and stepping out.
“Yeah, yeah…I’m coming Mike..” I mutter as I push past the taller, tan-skinned man in the doorway. He had shockingly bright red spiked hair, a black goatee, and dark brown eyes that helped show off his Asian descent, even though he was only half Japanese. He watches me with a smirk, reaching up to tug at the earring in his left ear. Both of his ears were pierced, and had matching silver loops. I had one of my ears pierced, with a similar loop through it. I grab my bag, after making sure everything is in it and zipped up, and looked up at Mike. He gave an overdramatic sigh and pulled the hotel room door open, grabbing his own bag.
“Finally, they’re going to kill us, and this time I’m telling them it’s your fault.”, he mutters as he walks out the door. I follow him, shutting the door behind me.
I’m sure you’re wondering by now, what the whole story is. Well I’ll give you the basics. My name’s Chester Bennington, and my friend’s name is Mike Shinoda. We make up the vocal team of the metal/rap band Linkin Park. I sing, and Mike raps. We have just put out our first album a week ago, and we’ve just finished the first show of our current tour. We named the album Hybrid Theory, which explains the mix of the different genres of music we threw together to create it. Actually, I haven’t been with the band that long. I remember skipping my twenty-third birthday party to go record my voice and lyrics to the demo tape the five piece band had sent me. I played it back for them, and they loved it, and booked a plane ticket for me to L.A. So I had no choice. I had been in a few bands before, but they didn’t work out. I’m from Phoenix Arizona, and at the time I was really struggling just to keep my crappy apartment. Now things are looking up, and I’ve moved into an apartment in downtown L.A. next to Mike’s. The band came together really well, and we’re hoping that our album has a lot of sells. We’ve been touring constantly, after it took us forever to get signed with a company, Warner Brothers finally took us under their wing. We’re on our way to Wichita, Kansas for our next show tomorrow night.
We arrive in the lobby downstairs, meeting up with a group of four other young men. I’ve just turned twenty- four, and the others are all younger than me. I glance around at the rest of the band. There’s Rob Bourdon, our drummer, and the youngest of the group- tall, shaggy dark brown hair, a goatee and thoughtful dark brown eyes. Joseph Hahn, our DJ- short, with spiked black hair, Asian style dark brown eyes, and naturally tanned skin, proving his ethnic make-up..Korean. Dave Farrel, otherwise known as Phoenix, our bassist- short, with spiky dark reddish brown hair, and playful hazel colored eyes. And last, but not least, is Brad Delson, our guitarist- tall, skinny, short dark brown hair, as well as a goatee of the same color, and intense dark brown eyes. These five guys have become the closest thing to a real family as I’ll get, and I think of each of them as my own brothers. I grin to myself and look over as our tour manager, Bob Dallas, enters the hotel lobby and leads us down the corridor to the back exit, where our tour bus was parked. This was really the first tour we get our own kick ass tour bus- and a bus driver! So now we don’t have to take turns driving. We load our stuff into the compartments under the bus, lock it up, and board the bus.
“I call one of the controllers!” Joe shrieks as he takes off down the narrow hallway of the bus, to the back room where we keep the television and Playstation.
“Hey! I call the other one, then!” Phoenix quickly speaks up, following after Joe. Rob rolls his eyes playfully, then follows in pursuit, to watch the two play. Rob was the youngest, but probably the most mature. It’s pretty funny.
Brad yawns and plops down on the long couch that stretches out in the front of the bus, and Mike grabs a soda from the small fridge. I stretch and glance over my shoulder as Bob gets on the bus and shuts the door, then moves to the front where he takes a seat next to the bus driver. As the bus begins to move, I decide that I’ll probably take a short nap before we stop to eat lunch. We have quite a ways to travel today, and we had to get up really early, so I’m still tired. I wave to Mike and Brad, then I head down the narrow hallway, where the bunks are. There were eight bunks, even though only seven of them would get used. I slept on the bunk above Brads. I carefully climb up into the bunk and pull the curtain shut, plunging myself into darkness as I lay down, pull the covers over me, and shut my eyes. In no time, I drift off into a peaceful sleep.
I watch Chester disappear into the bunk section, and I find my lips curling into a bitter smirk. What do I have against that guy? He’s actually really nice and usually really fun to be around..and did I mention he has one kick ass voice? I’m convinced that the band wouldn’t be nearly as great as it was now, if he hadn’t of joined. And maybe that’s what kills me. I started the band all those years ago, and worked so hard to make it what it is now, and along comes Mister Bennington, and all of the sudden the band’s a wonderful thing..and all because of Chester. Nothing about Mister Shinoda, who worked ten times as long for the band, than the precious Chester.
I look over, to find Brad staring at me curiously. I know that he knows something’s up. I’ve known him the longest, and he knows me the best. I try to just brush him off, but I know he’s going to ask questions anyways. He always does.
“Mike..dude, what’s wrong?” his voice flows to my ears and I shut my eyes, leaning back some into the couch.
“Nothing, I’m just tired.” I force a small smile and quickly stand, using it as an excuse to dodge the questions. “I think I need a nap.” I was out of there before he could ask another question.
I glance up at the curtain to Chester’s bunk, which was shut, and I smirk again. Fuckin’ media whore. Everyone loved Chester Bennington. Everyone wanted pictures of Chester, everyone wanted him on their radio or TV show, or wanted him for their interview. It didn’t seem to bother the other guys at all, but I know it bothered me. I try not to be jealous, but I can’t help it..it’s not fair. What the fuck makes him so great?
I crawl into my bunk, which was across from Brads, and yank the curtain shut, closing my eyes and resting my head against the pillow. I just need some sleep, I’ll feel better when I wake up.
After losing about three games in a row, I forfeit my controller to Rob, and let him try to beat Phoenix. I yawn and sneak from the room, going down the row of bunks, and stopping when I notice Mike’s bunk curtain is shut. Huh..he must be sleeping. Just the thought of Mike sleeping sends warm feelings spreading through my stomach. Unfortunately, I’ve developed quite a crush on Mike Shinoda over the years. Ever since I first met him, I’ve been mesmerized by him. Everything about him was perfect. His hair, his voice, his eyes..oh god, his dark, amazing eyes. I can’t let anyone know about this though; no one can find out that I have it bad for Mike. First off, everyone thinks I’m straight, including me, but I can’t deny my feelings of lust and attraction for Mike. He’s an incredible person, and after that bitch of a girlfriend broke his heart by dumping him, I’ve wanted to do nothing but hold him in my arms and keep him safe. But obviously, that’s not an option, or I’d be with him all the damn time. I spot Brad sitting on the couch, reading some Guitar World magazine. I smile and head over. Big Bad Brad’s the best, he’s always there to talk to when you need someone to listen, and he gives really good advice. But I’m still not sure if I should let him know about my infatuation with Mike. It could ruin a lot of things, and I’m not ready to let anyone know yet. I plop down next to him and grad the latest Remix DJ magazine and open it up, starting to read..trying to get my thoughts off of Mike.
I wake up slowly to the sound of Rob’s yell of victory.
“Finally! I won! I beat the Phoenix!” I hear him shuffle around the room in, what I’m sure is some kind of victory dance, including the yelling and boasting.
“Eh, it was a fluke! Rematch!” Phoenix muttered, and they both went back to work.
I yawn and stretch, rolling onto my side and reaching for the edge of the curtain, tugging it open to gaze out curiously. I notice that Mike’s curtain is shut, and I slowly climb out of my bunk. Brad’s curtain is also shut, and Joe is nowhere in sight. I quietly ease the curtain to Mike’s bunk open a bit and peek in at him. We really needed to work on the lyrics for this song we were putting together, but he seemed so tired. I reach in and gently shake him, watching him mutter and roll over with his back to me. I smirk and quickly climb into the bunk and pounce on him. He was going to get up whether he liked it or not.
“Come on Mike..lyric time..” I whisper, trying to wake him up without disturbing Brad.
Mike rolls over and pushes me off of him, and I tumble backwards, my back coming into contact with the side of his bunk. I smirk and look at him, that was smart, the loud thump probably woke up Brad. We pause, there was silence, ah, Brad’s still asleep. He looks at me once more and pushed at me.
“Get out of my bunk, dammit! I’m trying to sleep..” he mutters to me and I sigh.
“Fine. Be a fuckin’ ass. But remember this when you want to work on lyrics.” I climb out of his bed, my hair a mess from the small little struggle. I plop down in my bunk again, stretching myself out and shutting my eyes. I wasn’t sleepy now, but there was nothing else to do really. There was a few moments of pure silence and I feel like I’m about to go to sleep when I hear a small noise, a creak maybe, and I open my eyes, glancing up to see Joe in the aisle, gazing at Mike. I watch for a little while, wondering what in the hell Joe was doing by just staring at Mike. I see him start to turn towards me and I quickly shut my eyes and act like I’m asleep. It must of worked, because I hear him slowly sneak off. Huh, that was strange.
About an hour later we finally make it to a small city where we can find a place to eat. I get up and grab my wallet and slip it into the back pocket of my baggy pants, and then I pick up my glasses and slide them on. Checking myself in the mirror quickly, while the rest of the guys get off the bus, I twist my messy hair into spikes once more. Shutting the light off in the small bus bathroom, I quickly follow the guys. Rob and Phoenix were on their way across the road already, dodging cars as they attempt to cross the busy street. Brad and Mike were talking about something and counting the money they had, and Joe was simply watching them. Well actually, he seemed to be watching Mike. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? Curiously I step up next to the three of them and smile. Mike turns and looks at me, and I can swear that he rolled his eyes before he looked away, but maybe I’m just being paranoid or something. What did I ever do to Mike? Oh well, I look at Brad, who was shoving his wallet back into his pants pocket, and he smiles and announces that he was going to try to get to Burger King, which was across that busy street. We watch Brad go, before Mike turns and heads to the small store on our left. I watch Joe quickly scramble up next to him and continue to gaze at him.
Again, I was alone. I sigh and shove my hands into my pockets and looks down at the tips of my black and dark gray Vans. They were my most comfortable pair of shoes, so I usually wore them the most when we had bus days. I slowly wander towards the store that Mike and Joe went to, making sure to keep my distance from them. Mike seemed like he was upset with me..maybe I shouldn’t of jumped on him earlier. It was just a joke! Geez..what was up his ass? And what the hell was up with Joe? Was he in love with Mike or something? Oi, things were getting confusing, I’ll just keep my mouth shut when I’m off stage. That may work.
I arrive in the store, realizing I’m not all that hungry, so I venture to the drink isle and grab some juice, before grabbing a small bag of Doritos and heading to the check out line. I watch the people in line in front of me check out, an older woman with a small child sitting in the basket. The little girl looks up at me and smiles, I notice one of her front teeth are missing. I smile and wave playfully to her, and she shyly giggles and waves back. I remember being so young, and not having to worry about anything but how much money the tooth fairy was going to leave under my pillow. That was all before my innocence was shattered. I remember coming home one day, I believe I was only eleven, and my mom had just disappeared. Dad had come home and told me that my mom wouldn’t be coming back. They got a divorce the next month, and I never saw much of my mother after that. My grades began to slip some, and I used to spend time with my dad and all his friends when they’d come over late weekend nights. That’s when the worst happened. One of my dads friends, used to constantly rape me. Every weekend, he repeated the same thing until finally my dad found out something was wrong. The man had threatened me, telling me that if I told anyone that he’d kill me. I was so scared, and after he’d have his fun, he’d leave me in the back of the closet in the vacant room down the hall. I’d cry and tremble and not be able to move for hours because of the pain, but what could I do? I usually don’t tell very many people about that, but I’ve told the guys in the band. I just wanted to be fully open with them. I was also addicted to heroine during my teen years, but was able to quit before it really fucked me over.
I smile at the lady who ran my small bottle of juice and my little bag of chips over the checkout counter, and glance at the small computer screen in front of me to get my total. I quickly whip out my wallet and pull out a $5 bill, handing it to the lady. She hands me my change and then hands me the small bag my purchase was in, and I step away from the counter and head towards the exit, humming one of our songs to myself.
I watch Chester from where I’m standing in my checkout line. He’s in a line a few rows down from me, but I can still clearly see him. I study his every movement and watch him smile and wave at the little girl. I can’t help but smile, as much as I hate him at this moment. He can be so adorable sometimes- what the fuck? Did I just say that Chester Bennington was..ADORABLE? What the hell is wrong with me?
I feel a tap on my shoulder and almost jump three feet in the air, quickly turning to look at the surprised Joe. He smirks and eyes me carefully.
“What’s wrong, Shinoda? Got a staring problem now?” he asks, keeping that little smart ass smirk on his face.
“Shut up, Hahn.” I turn away from him and sigh..he was always there by my side now, criticizing everything I do. It’s like he studies me. Well hell, now I know what Chester must feel like when I do it to him. I glance at Joe and he was watching me again, but quickly adverts his gaze, grabbing one of those awful tabloid magazines and acting like he was interested in the fact that some wacko thought that Abraham Lincoln was really a woman. Why was he always staring at me? Hell, it was like he was in love with me or something.
I just smirk and turn my gaze back to Chester, watching him pay for his stuff and take his bag, turning and walking towards the exit. As Joe and I move up in line, I note the way Chester walks. I slide my items to the guy behind the checkout booth and continue to stare at Chester until he leaves the store. I pause suddenly and quickly look down..oh shit..I’m staring at Chester. This is what Joe does to me. Fuck, I hope I don’t make Chester as uncomfortable as Joe was making me. But why should I care if it makes Chester uncomfortable or not. It’s not like I’m in love with him, like Joe is with me- holy shit. Realization hits me like a ton of fucking bricks and I practically snatch the bag away from the guy and throw nine dollars at him, then turning and quickly hurrying away to the exit, leaving the change for the guy to pocket.
I run those thoughts through my head over and over again..I can’t keep my eyes off of Chester. My every thought lately seems to revolve around Chester. Shit- I have a fucking crush on Chester! No, this can’t be. I won’t allow myself to accept that answer, it’s got to be wrong. Why would I have a fucking crush on Chester? I can’t stand him!
I step onto the bus, hearing Joe run up behind me, calling my name. I ignore him and get on, stopping when I see Chester in the bunk aisle, pulling his shirt off and reaching for a new one from his bag. I can’t help but stare in awe, feeling a small twitch in my groin as I gaze over his bare upper torso..and my fears have been confirmed. I’ve developed a major crush on my fellow vocalist. I drop my bag into the seat of the couch and quickly go to my bunk, ignoring Chester completely, and I crawl inside, yanking my curtain shut. I need to just be alone for a few moments…to sort out all of my thoughts.
I notice the way Mike was watching Chester, and I saw the way he reacted when we walked in on Chester changing shirts. It’s the same way I look and react to the sight of Mike. I feel a heavy sinking feeling wash over me. Mike liked Chester, like I liked Mike? My heart felt crushed..but it’s still not determined for sure. But I definitely need to find out soon. If it’s true, then I’ve got to do something to get Chester out of the way. I’ve known Mike way longer than Chester, and it wouldn’t be fair dammit! Mike’s mine! I plop down on the couch and watch the other guys return with their food. They chatter like monkeys, talking about some new band that we were supposed to tour with next time. They disappear into the back room and I quickly stand up and follow them, needing to seriously get my mind off of Mike and the way he looks at Chester.
I stumble forward slightly as Mike pushed past me and jumped into his bunk, and yanked his curtain shut. I dropped the shirt that I was about to tug on, and smirk to myself. This has lasted long enough, and before we perform tomorrow, I’m going to find out what in the hell his problem was. I reach over and grab the corner of Mike’s curtain and yank it back, finding him laying down with his eyes shut, but his eyes quickly open as soon as I tear the curtains back, and he sits up so fast that he bumps his head hard against the bottom of the bunk above him.
“Ow, fuck!” he yells and mutters, reaching up to rub at his head. Shit, I didn’t mean to scare him like that at all. I bite my lower lip gently and reach over, gently running my hand through his spiky hair over the spot he hit it.
“Shit dude, I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to scare you like that..” I feel bad now, perching myself on the side of his bunk, watching him closely. I continue to rub at the spot on his head and his own hands fell away, and he shut his eyes again. I pause as he leans back, his lips parted. He looks like he’s enjoying this a little too much, so I slowly ease my hand back and look at him curiously. “You okay now?”
“Yeah, thanks..” he whispers softly to me, and I tug the curtain shut so the other guys won’t try to listen in on our conversation. I lean over Mike to reach up and turn the little light on in the bunk, and then lean back once light had flooded the small bunk. My arm accidentally brushed against his hips, and I felt something that I probably shouldn’t have. It appears that Mike was a little..erm..excited. I slowly ease myself away from him when I notice him tense up. He kept his eyes shut, and now I was beginning to get a little worried.
“Um..Mike?” I whisper, wondering what in the hell he was doing. “Are you okay, man?”
“Chaz..I..” he stopped suddenly, and just shook his head, “Please leave me alone..” and he rolled over to face the wall, his back to me. I was more confused then ever now. But due to his current condition and his plea, I just nod.
“Okay Mike..I don’t know what your problem is..but when you get ready to talk, then just let me know.” And with that, I was out of there, going to my own bunk and shutting the curtains, flipping on the small TV to watch something amusing.
Oh fuck. I couldn’t believe that he came and sat in my bunk with me, without a shirt on. And he ran his fingers through my hair, and that sent those waves of warmth through my stomach and groin. I couldn’t help but become aroused as he was touching me, and leaning over me. Then his arm actually brushed up against my erection, and I know he felt it, because he paused and avoided eye contact. I almost panicked, I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t want him to stay. I’m a confusing guy, I know. I can’t believe this is happening. This could ruin so much for the band. I couldn’t just keep these feelings locked inside anymore; I had to tell someone. And I almost ended up telling Chester right then and there, but I decided against it, which was probably a smart thing on my part.
I need to talk to someone though, before this gets too out of hand. And I know just the person I need to talk to..Brad. Slowly I stand up, having already lost my appetite since my newfound realization, and head towards the back to get Brad. I’d take him to the front where we could be alone, and tell him about what was happening in my confused mind and heart. I know he’d understand, and he wouldn’t freak out and wouldn’t tell the other guys. I trust him. I know he’ll help me sort this out..because fuck, I definitely need help.