Category Linkin Park

Eobane by hattu

Chapter 1


What you find here is my very first real attempt to write something. So I know this story just plainly sucks, but I decide to post in anyway. I have the storyline planned and I think it will be done with 3 or 4 chapters.

Since this is my first fic, I really need YOUR help! Just push that little blue button on the bottom and say honestly what you think!!! Tell me what is good and what I desperately need to improve! I want to learn so please please please help me!

I’m a poor newbie so I don’t have a beta, so this is pretty un proofed. So excuse my horrible English and try to ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes!!!

Last but not least: Don’t own, never happened, just fiction!!



Chapter 1

Mikes POV

Here we are on tour again, well we are still on tour. We just have two weeks left. Right now we are on our way to the next venue. We’re watching a movie just to cure our boredom, but to be honest I really don’t pay to much attention to the film. My eyes are settled on my angel, my everything, Rob.

I just can’t find the right words to describe what and how much he meant to me. We are together for two years now and I still get this tingling feeling in my stomach when he looks at me. Sadly I still can’t bring myself to admit my feelings, our feelings openly. We hide everything, we even hide it from our best friends. I’m scared of their reaction, first I thought this scared feeling would fade with the time, but it is still there and I have to admit I doesn’t seems to fade…

Sure it is pretty hard and difficult to hide something like this from the others, especially when we are on tour, but over these two years we got pretty good at it. The best times are of course when we get the chance to share a hotel room, then it is pretty easy. On the tour bus is this a complete different story. We have a little ritual, we wait until the others are asleep and just sneak in each others bunks, we just have to be careful in the morning when we get up.

At the moment everything is a little bit more difficult. Brad caught us all cuddled up together in the bunks twice this week. Of course we have had our excuses, but the way Brad reacted scares me a lot. I know he didn’t really believe our explanations and he is pretty pissed at me I think. Okay I don’t think he is pissed I know he is pissed and it scares me.

Of course the other got a great view from our cuddling session’s aswell, but they took it better. Well there are not angry like Brad and I believe they bought our excuses, but Rob and I, are now number one target of a whole bunch of gay jokes. I can deal with these jokes, but recently these jokes make me really worry about what will happen when Rob and I decide to tell the guys or worse what will happen when we get caught?? How will they react? A few weeks ago I was convinced that it would be no problem and they were fine with it……and now? I’m scared more than ever, especially since Brad gets so worked up about Rob and I cuddled up in a bunk.

So Rob and I decided to be more careful. No more stealing kisses from one another, no more hotel room sharing and no more bunk sneaking.

I really start to feel very lonely. I don’t like sleeping all alone in my bunk. I miss Rob’s strong arms around me and his warmth beneath me. The worst part is that I know it is my fault. If I weren’t so damn scared of admitting my feelings we wouldn’t have to do these stupid hiding games. I hate myself for that more than anything, but I still can’t find the strength to change something. My fears are just too strong.

I know this is hurting Rob too. But he is so…so…I can’t find the right words. He just accept this hiding for my sake. He never complains, he never tries to push me, he never ever says one single word about that. He is there for me, he loves me, he makes me feel loved and needed. He…

“MIKE!!! Stop drooling over our little drummer boy!! Or else he might start to think he is sexier than me!!!!” Shit, caught again…

“For fucks sake Chester, I’m not drooling!!! Why can’t you just shut up once!” I snap at him, quickly leave and make my way to the kitchen area.

Shit shit shit shit. How stupid am I??? Well done Mike, now they will know something is bothering you…..See there comes Bra oh Chester…normally they would send Brad….why is it Chester? Oh yeah Brad is already angry at me…

“Mike are you okay, I mean is everything okay?” No dumbass

“Yeah, I fine Chester”

“Are you sure? I mean you seemed a bit…

“Chester I’m perfectly fine. I just got to less sleep and too much stress over the last days. I’m sorry that I snapped at you back there, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Smile Shinoda smile, then he might buy it. Come on Chester buy it….

“Oh…okay.” That doesn’t sound convinced…

“Thanks for caring Chaz, but believe me I’m really fine!” Yeah that was good and now just smile Shinoda smile….oh distracted him “Do you know when we will arrive at the venue?”

“I’m glad that you are okay, maybe you should get some rest. We are stuck on that bus at least for four more hours.” Yesyesyes he bought it!!!

“Thanks Chaz! I will do that”

--- After the concert ---

*still mikes POV*

Finally!!! Finally Rob and I managed to get some minutes just for us! Here I am now in his arms. God I love him so much. Why can’t I find the strength to rid of my stupid fear!!


“You okay Mikey??”

“Huh…yeah I´m fine.”


“Rob really I am fine” oh no not that look, please no...okay *sigh*


“I’m thinking over some things. Nothing important so don’t worry.”

“Oh okay. Mike?” mmmhhh he nibbles at my ears


“I miss you. I miss our nights together” Ohoho if he don’t get his hands in other places I’ll have some major problems at the M&G….

“Oh god Rob please….”

“What? Do you miss me too?”

“Of course I do!!! I miss you like….”

“MIKE??? Are you back there??” Shit!!! Brad!! Please not again, not again!!!

I begin to panic. He can’t find us again!! I don’t want to think what will happen if he sees us together again it is bad enough already!

“Mike calm down, breath!! He won’t see me, go look what he wants.”


“Just go Mike, now.” With that Rob pushes me lightly in the direction of Brad’s voice and footsteps.

“MIKE are yo...Ah there you are. What are doing here? The M&G starts in nearly five minutes! And have you seen Rob?”

“Nothing I just needed a few minutes alone and no I haven’t seen him.”

“Oh great I just found you, now I have to go and search for him. God why can’t…”


“uhm Yeah?”

“Go to the M&G. We all know when it starts and where. I will be there on time and I’m sure Rob will too. Maybe he is just in the bathroom or something. Now go.”

“Fine, if you say so. You come?” There we go, he is pissed again.

“Yes, just give me one more minute.”

“Yeah sure whatever” With that my best friend since school walks away and again he is angry at me. I don’t know what I have done. What makes him so angry at me? Did he found out? Or is it something else? What if I lose him? I can’t lose him. But I can’t lose Rob either. What can I do? What should I do?

I’m too confused right now. I need time. I have to think, I need to sort this mess out.

Two nice strong arms wrap themselves around my waist from behind. But instantly my fears increase. We can’t do that, we have to be more careful. We just nearly got caught, we can’t do that now.

“Rob?” I slowly put his hands away from me

“Uhm…Yeah?” He looks a bit confused by my actions

“That was way to close. I think we should be more careful. Considering the situation right now I think we need to back off each other for the next few days, until everything is more settled.”

I turn around and look at Rob. He seems shocked and stares at me. And then I see it, I can clearly see the hurt in his eyes. I’m so horrible, so selfish and so weak. I hurt my angel just because I’m too weak and let my fears control my life.

Rob looks at the ground and sighs deeply. He looks back up and envelops me in his arms and whispers in my ear

“I love you Mikey. It’s okay, I understand. I love you no matter what!” He pulls back, gives me a small peck on the lips and walks away.

I AM HORRIBLE! How could I do that? How could I hurt him like that? He loves me and all I do is hurt him.

I slowly make my way to the M&G. When I arrive at the table I notice that Rob has changed his seat with Phe, so that I’m in the middle of Phe and Bra…Joe? It seems that Brad can’t stand to sit next to me. I sigh and take my seat. Neither Phe nor Joe says something. Maybe they are mad too. I’m so pathetic. I just want to crawl in my bunk and hide forever. I put on my grining mask and sign everything what is put between my hands.

After the M&G I head straight for my bunk. Nobody seems to bother.

Here I am now. I can’t sleep. I just toss around, my mind is racing. What should I do? What can I do? Why is Brad that mad at me? What have I done? Why I’m hurting the love of my life? Why I’m so damn scared? Why I’m so damn sacred of my best friends?

I dunno what time it is. But I’m exhausted but still I can’t sleep. I feel so horrible, so lonely. I miss Rob. I need him. Why was I that stupid to tell him that we need to back off? I stand up and head for the kitchen. I grab myself a drink and sigh. I get cold and head back to my bunk and climb in.

I close the curtain and my eyes fell on a pillow. There is Rob’s pillow and a small piece of paper. I unfold it and read:

It’s not me, but…

Oh my god! He is so sweet and I’m so cruel. I don’t deserve somebody like him. I hug the pillow close and lay down. It smells like him. I love him. I love him so much!!!!

I curl myself to a small ball, hug his pillow and start to cry.


Congratulations, you made it till the end!!! Well the end of the first chapter…

*points to the blue button* Please help me!!!!

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