hey dollface,

you never told me you wrote stories. luckily Angelica gave me the link for this. I seriously would have hated to miss out.

This is awesome, it truly is. Who knew you were so talented babe?

Lots of love,

Jeremy

Stupid homophobics >.< they make me so angry!

Great story though!

I loveeee Brad and Rob!

Update soon!

Damn.

You're good. The story is really great so far. I can't wait to see where you go with it!

My apologies for the triple review, but the second time around, I completely blanked on running a spelling and grammar check.

You used the word "kinda" quite a few times and while I think it's okay for speech, I'm hesitant to have it used otherwise. I'd suggest changing it to "kind of" but then again, Chester [as the narrator] is telling the story to us and that may be how he speaks. I'm not quite sure, it's really up to you.

On grammar: you used "Its" rather than "It's". The apostrophe makes the difference between "it is" and "its" [which is a possessive pronoun]. Also, one other thing I noticed was during Tanya's last spoken line you used kay? [and this could just be me pet peeving] but I think 'kay? would work better. I'd recommend going through your sentences using a grammar checker - that should pick it up. If not, grab a beta and have them run through it for you.

Just as a side note for a laugh, I thought I'd share: my spell checking program had absolutely no idea what to do with the word "precome" or "precum". I found it rather amusing.

Again, my apologies for the multiple reviews.

Cindy.

I was slated to review this for the site's beta team, but I think I covered it in my review below. :]

First off, thank you for the lovely review on my latest fic & for pairing someone other than M/C in your head. <3! Now onto this piece [my apologies for not R/Ring sooner]:

I enjoyed the intro like woah. It's almost as if he's talking or writing specifically to me [or the reader] and it makes him that much more real and I love it.

I agree with what Malaiyas has said - the build-up was grand. Just like Chester in this, I was questioning the reality Rob's presence.

The little details [like him comment about Project Runway] made this, yet again, even more real.

The slash was well written - it wasn't fluffy, but it wasn't an uncomfortable read, either. I'm proud of you for posting a slash as your first fic! I didn't have the balls to do that [and still do not]. You pulled if off so well, gahh, I'm jealous. :P

And I'm really looking forward to reading all the trials and tribulations that are to come. Personally, I've never been bashed because of it, but it does happen and I admire those that are able to deal with that intolerance. I like that your writing feels real in these regards.

The ending of this wasn't in depth, yet it was effective. Gave a glimpse, but not every emotion. Again, well written.

[/end really long ramble]

Again, I look forward to more. <3<3

Cindy.

Gosh, that was very surreal. I enjoyed it very much, and have never read anything like it. I think you are rather talented.

Wow.

I really liked this.

Differnet to what I am use to reading

Nice job..

Wow that was hot at first but then..Shit why would you do that? I'd be fine if two people in my school were gay. And suspended cuz of sexuality? That's not legal is it? I don't know I'm not a low expert although taht is really stupid.

Update soon!

I really, really liked that.

The build-up of the fantasy and then it actually happened was captured wonderfully.

I was waiting for something bad to happen, like Rob basically just using him or something to that effect, but I wasn't expecting the simple though quite powerful ending.

Though not really elaborated on, it did capture homophobia rather well, because it really is just so ignorant. The fact that they became so hated because of their own private activities was something that, though it was sad, it was true to life and I liked it because of that.

Very good.=]