Author's Note: So, I got the idea for the hella long stand-alone by someone mentioning to me that I should write a story including candles and rose petals. This is what it turned into. It's also a story in attempt to make up for me straying away from "Among The Betrayed"--not like it's getting a lot of attention anyway. :p

I would like to send some huge thank-yous to Mansi (for looking over the whole thing, giving me song ideas, telling me what fits and what doesnt, etc) and Rachael for looking over one scene. :) I love you two!

This is split into two parts... because, well, I wanted to split it into two parts. :p I think it reads better having it split into two parts, anyway.

I appologize for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors ahead of time. And I will shut up now. :)

Enjoy...

~~~~~~~~~~

Between The Blurry Lines of Love

“It happened again.”

“What did, Chester?”

“I hurt him. Worse than before…”

“How did you do it? Was it physical? Did you put him in the hospital like you feared one day you’d do? Or was it mentally? Emotionally? Did you rape him?”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “A combination of all… except for rape. Of all the things I now know I’m capable of, I don’t think I’d be capable of ever raping him.”

“What did you do, Chester? Cheat on him again? Did he catch you with another man again?”

I looked at my psychiatrist, possibly feeling more pain that I have ever felt in my entire life. This was more pain than I felt when my dad’s best friend sexually abused me. This was more pain than I felt when my parent’s got divorced. This was more pain than I felt when my first band dumped and bashed me---more than I ever felt when I was beaten for not paying back a drug dealer. I had hurt the man I love more than my own son—possibly for the last time. He was tired, and in the back of my mind, I had a feeling he wanted out.

“Chester?” I shook my head. “Are you going to refuse to speak? You’ve never done that before with all of the subjects we’ve discussed.”

“I’m thinking about what I want to say, what I want to do.”

“Why don’t you think about what you know, so you can talk about what you know? What do you know, Chester?”

“I know that I love him more than anything; I know that I couldn’t bare to lose him, and I don’t want to ever part from him.”

“Then why do you continually hurt him?”

That wasn’t a question I had ever expected. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I could even possibly say. “I’m stupid,” I truthfully answered.

“But you know you love him and you know that he loves you, so there’s no reason to act stupid—there’s no reason to have your penis think for you. Don’t even have your mind think for you; perform actions based on feelings of the heart, Chester.”

I grunted. I wasn’t sure what was more unsettling: this 30-some year old guy telling me not to think with my penis, or him telling me what I needed to do in order to think properly. “Don’t you think I know that? I would do anything for him! Coming to therapy I did for him; I came so that I could get my problems out of the way so that our relationship could be closer, stronger, and more powerful. If it wasn’t for him wanting to get me help, and me wanting to save our relationship, I would’ve never even stepped a foot near this place.”

“Are you glad you agreed to do it? Do you think it’s helping you?” Dr. Holland asked, his questions never seeming to end.

“Yeah, I was glad he made me come. And I did think it was helping—until this happened.”

“Why did you wait so long to come talk about it? What kept holding you back?”

“What? Is a week like an eternity now? I had put my boyfriend in the hospital—you think I was automatically willing to talk about it?”

Dr. Holland put his pen to his mouth. “There must be something you’re thinking in the back of your head that could be the reason you’re doing this to a man you want to marry, who you want to spend the rest of your life with…” He completely ignored my previous remark.

I blinked, thinking for a moment. There was a reason. It was, what I thought, a bullshit reason—but it was enough to share. “I love him with all of my heart… but I’m afraid of being hurt because we’re in so deep. I recognize that we’re in over our heads. We both recognize that, and we agreed to have it like this, even if it seems like a bit much at times. But, I feel this need that I need to hurt him, just so I can do it before he gets the chance to hurt me. Let me assure you, it’s in no way intentional…”

“Do you think Mike would actually do something like this to you?”

“No,” I admitted, “I trust him. But there’s always the possibility…because you never know. But if he ever did that, it’s like I do this to kind of prepare myself. You know, I couldn’t let myself get so heated where I’m threatening our relationship, because then I’d be a hypocrite, because I’ve done these things myself.”

“So, then you did cheat on him with another man?”

“No,” I took a deep breath, “worse. He caught me in bed with another women—my ex-wife.”

The doctor could do nothing but stare at me wide-eyed.

“I know, I’m a horrible person, I’m a horrible fiancé.”

“Putting down yourself isn’t going to help the situation any.” He paused for a second. “What did you do after that?”

“I blamed my mistake on him. I yelled at him, punched him… I hit him on the head with a beer bottle… all kinds of fucked up things. And it landed him in the hospital. I don’t know what I was thinking--so don’t even ask. I’ve probably lost him forever…”

“I’ve actually checked on his progress for you. I’m sure you haven’t built up the courage to call the hospital yourself, right? Or even go visit him?” I nodded. “Well, from when he was first admitted, he’s doing progressively better. He’s regained his consciousness, but still very weak and tired. His doctor has told me he keeps asking for a specific ‘Chester Bennington’.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Yet, I didn’t know if Mike asking for me was a good thing or a bad thing. For all I knew, maybe he wanted to beat the living crap at me, yell at me, or even break it off with me?

“Would you want to go see him?”

“Yes, I would. I just… I want to hold him and tell him I love him. I want him to know that doing this was the biggest mistake of my life and that I’d do anything to make it right again.” I hung my head low.

“I want you to go see him tomorrow morning… before your session here, OK? I’ll see you afterwards. And I will be contacting hospital personnel to let me know if you really showed up or not. I want you to take this big step forward and see him. And come prepared to talk in detail about what happened,” Dr. Holland instructed. I nodded and stood up off of the couch and left the office in silence.

Facing the man who’s the center of my universe was going to be hard after what I had so wrongly done to him, especially since I had no clue of what his physical condition looked like.

~~~~~~~~~~

When I got to the hospital, my heart was racing. I approached Mike’s room, but couldn’t get the courage to go in. So I leaned against the wall outside his room and slid down it so I could sit on the floor, with my legs pulled up to my chest.

Inside, I could hear him and his nurse talking. “Mike, it’s time for your pain medication.”

I could hear Mike whine. “Have you gotten a hold of Chester?”

The nurse signed. “No, I have not. But I did hear from his psychiatrist. He told me that he told Chester to come visit you…but he was doubtful as to whether or not Chester would actually listen to him.”

“I want to see him.” Mike said sternly.

“I know you do, Mike. But could you just take your medicine for me? Well… not for me… it’s for you…”

“But nothing hearts more than my heart. You can’t help that with this medicine, can you?”

I drew in a sharp breath. Shortly, the nurse walked out of Mike’s room, huffing. She noticed me right away. “Excuse me, can I help you?”

Looking up at the middle-aged blond, I sighed nervously. “Uh… no. I’m just trying to build up the stamina to go in there.” I motion to Mike’s room.

The nurse eyes me. “You must be Chester. Please go in there and talk to him. He asks about you 24/7, and quite honestly, I’m getting tired on his constant moaning. So just…please…go in there.”

I nod and stand up, but hesitate before entering. “Go,” I hear the nurse speak from behind me.

Walking slowly into the room, I take one look at my lover and immediately wanted to run away. But something kept me walking closer to his bedside. “Mike?” I choked out.

He turned over as fast as he could with his body being in the shape that it was in and with all the wires being attached to him and gasped. “Chester?!”

“Hey baby,” I tried to smile as I noticed I was shaking frantically.

“Don’t call me baby.”

“’Noda… I’m so sorry. I-I- I could have killed you for God sakes! I- I didn’t know I was capable of doing something of this extreme… especially to someone I, myself, would die for. Mike… I don’t know what to say… but I’m so thankful you’re alive…” I sobbed out.

Reality really did set in as I looked over his broken body lying in front of me. His right as was swollen shut and colored a deep, dark purple. His upper lip was split. The whole right side of his precious face was covered with red, fairly deep gashes. His skin, usually a nice dark bronze and able to make him stand out above any other in a crowd was a pale, light shade of white. Hell, his skin color could match mine. He just overall looked incredibly weak. I did this to him. I was responsible for making him look like this.

“Chester?” Mike had noticed my now swollen, red eyes, filled with tears that I wouldn’t let fall. “What’s wrong?”

“How can you just lay there and act so calm? Mike… I fucking did this to you! And you’re not even acting as if you’re heart-broken or shattered! You’re not cussing me out or anything!”

“You want me to cuss you out and start some sort of hissy fit? Chester, I’m too tired and have no energy to waste by doing that.”

“But are you mad? Are you pissed beyond belief at me?”

“What good is being mad going to do? Chester, I’m just more in shock than anything. I know you’d want to try to save our wrecked relationship, so what good is being mad at you going to do for that? I never knew you were able of doing something like this to someone you love… especially for a mistake that you made.” Mike swiftly turned his head away from me.

I took a seat next to his bed and took one of his soft, tender, cold hands in mine and just caressed it. “I never knew I was able to do this, either. But you have no clue how sorry I am and how much I regret this. Mike, I’m a fucking idiot. Not only did I jeopardize our relationship, I put your life on the line… and my sanity.” He turned his head back around and locked eyes with mine. “I love you more than you’ll ever know, and more than I’d ever be able to express.”

“I do know. And that’s another reason why I can’t be mad at you. I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me. We’re soul mates, Chester. And I guess all this drama is just included in the package.”

“I have to be honest with you, Mike. If you had done this to me, I think we’d be over. I’d fucking hate you with all of my being. I wouldn’t put up with any of my crap, not even one second of it.”

He flashes me a smile. “At least you realize you fuck a lot of things up,” he giggles. “But that’s the difference between you and me, baby. I’m willing to work through things—and this we’ll definitely work through. It will take a while, for sure, but we’ll get through it eventually.”

I nodded. “As long as we do work through it.” Despite how he looked, Mike was still my Mike, the Mike I knew. He was still the same sweet, lovable, guy with big, wide eyes and lips that you’d only dream of having the pleasure of kissing anytime to express your compassion. He was very romantic, but also had a hard sense about him.

Leaning forward, there was like some sort of magnetic force between us. I placed my lips on his soft, like velvet pair. No matter how long the time was when we would go without kissing one another, the first time we had made this type of connection always was filled with the same amount of passion. Mike let out a soft moan and snaked his tongue slowly into my mouth. He licked at the roof of my mouth, signaling it was now my turn to moan, which he had caused me to do successfully. We pulled away and just started into each other’s eyes. There was nothing on earth that could separate the two of us that was definite.

“What are you thinking about, Chester?” My fiancé asked, licking his lips, savoring my taste as I was savoring his.

“Remember when I proposed to you?”

“Of course. How could I forget? It’s a night that reminds me why I even listen and am in love with your cocky ass.” His eyes lit up.

~~~~~~~~

“Damn, what a great show, you guys!” Rob remarked, whipping his forehead, which was glistening with sweat, like all of our bodies were, off with a towel.

“More than just a great show—a great whole fucking day. Those kids were awesome. How the hell did they did even manage to sing along to most of the lyrics when the album just came out!” Mike smiled.

I looked to him and winked, deciding to drop a little hint. “Just you wait for tonight.”

Unfortunately, he sighed. “Chester, I think I’m too exhausted for sex. Come on, we just had “Meteora” come out today and we just played an incredibly enthusiastic show, which I, as well as you, exhilarated all of our energy in to. No sex, Chester.”

“Who says I want to have sex? Maybe I just want to cuddle up with my ‘Noda bear and have some make-out sessions. That doesn’t involve to much energy to give out, right?”

“No, but it takes my breath away…” He now looked at me, lust filling his eyes.

“Whoa!” Brad looked at us wide-eyed, coming into the room with a bottle of water in hand. “We’re cool with your relationship. We’re even cool with hearing or watching you guys make-out on a regular basis, but please… keep your sex life and the band separate.”

I snort and then turn back to Mike, deciding just to ignore Brad. “Please?”

“Do I even have a choice? We drove here together, remember? You’re my ride home, anyway!”

“Eww! God, I don’t even want to know what you guys were doing before we had to be at the venue!” Joe whines.

“Hey, we gave no sort of suggestion of anything we did before we got ready for the show and everything. You thought of that bit of info all by yourself, Hahn.” I laughed menacingly.

Mike only glared at the rest of our band mates, who had burst into a fit of laughter, and flipped them off. “Shove it, you guys!”

“Come on, guys,” Phoenix speaks up, “let the couple be happy. Today is a happy day—we released an album we’ve been working so diligently on for 18 months, praying that it would be a success. So… yanno, just let them have their fun.”

I smile. “Thanks Phi. I think we’ll go ahead and go. See you tomorrow when today’s sales are revealed to us.”

With an assortment of different good-bye gestures and sayings, Mike and I left. He had no clue what to come of later in the evening.

*

When Mike and I got back to my house, I threw the keys down on my foyer table and walk up the stairs, heading to my bedroom. Mike stands there, looking at me confused. “You’re not going to throw me against the wall and/or door and shove your tongue down my throat?”

I laugh. The funny thing was he sounded like he was desperate for that type of touch from me. “I told you: I didn’t ask you to come over and stay over so we could fuck each other senseless.”

“Then why are you heading into your bedroom?”

“Shower.”

“Oh.”

“You can get one in here after I’m done. I promise I won’t take long. Make yourself at home—but you know you’re free to do that anytime.”

Before I enter my room, I take one last look at Mike. He looked so disappointed. Was he really hoping we’d get it on? He tells me one thing and means another—just like a damn woman. I’m sure he’ll be begging for me later.

*

“Mike,” I call downstairs, “shower’s all yours, babe! Take your time getting ready and meet me in the living room when you’re done.”

I hurry into my closet and try to change as fast as possible, but yet timing it just right so that Mike would be in the shower and not see me. I didn’t want to look too formal, but not too casual either. Deciding on my red and white plaid button down I had worn often while we were recording and a pair of dark, slightly baggy jeans, I hurried downstairs.

Knowing the two of us wouldn’t be hungry for a big entrée after the show, I had baked an apple pie earlier. I took it out of its container in the refrigerator and heated it up. I cut one piece for Mike and set it on a plate, placing it in front of one chair. I did the same with another piece. I also got a can of whipped cream of the refrigerator and set that on the table. I dimmed the lights in the room and lit two tall candles, which I had set standing in the middle of the table.

Before sitting down, I run over to my foyer table and open the drawer, pulling out a small, black, velvet box and place it in my pocket. I then head over to the stereo and switch it on, being sure to have the volume having been turned down to allow the music to be played softly. I finally take a seat and nervously await my boyfriend.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

“Wow, Chester. You did all of this just while I was in the shower?”

I jump up and take Mike’s hand, raising it to my lips and giving it a peck. “I baked the pie earlier.”

Mike smirks. “I feel slightly under-dressed.” I pull out the chair for him like a true gentleman and he takes a seat. Pushing him in, I say: “Don’t worry about it. You look great anyway in a t-shirt and jeans.”

“I always wear a t-shirt and jeans.”

“And you always look great.”

So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why

It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

“So, since when have you become Mr. Romantic, Mr. Bennington?”

“A month ago when I started to plan for tonight.” I started to fidget nervously.

Mike scrunches his face up. “You’ve been planning tonight for a month? What’s the significance?”

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right

I hope you had the time of your life.

“What do you mean what’s so special?” I watch Mike as he takes a bite of his apple pie with whipped cream covering it, eating quite suggestively. “’Meteora’ came out today, ‘Noda! We’ve been putting blood, sweat, and tears into this album for 18 freaking months! Everything we’ve been through… the stress of me getting sick and having to finish vocals while mixing… you passing out every morning because of the lack of the sleep the night before due to thinking about the record… eight hours sitting in the studio everyday thinking of what we could write that was better than what we had previously written… constant bickering with Don Gilmore…. We got through all of that. And all of those significant things show through today.”

Mike nodded. “You’re right. Sometimes I forget all of that when we finally get the end product. We do have a big thing to celebrate, don’t we?”

“Bigger than you think,” I mutter to myself, not thinking Mike would hear me.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.

For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Mike… we made it through these long, hard months together—as a couple. The guys thought it’d be harder working with a partner, but we proved them wrong. We were still able to write some kick ass lyrics. I honestly don’t think I would’ve been able to make it though these torturous months without your support as a friend, a co-vocalist, and lover.”

He smirked. “You know… and you also had someone to take out all the stress on in bed.”

“That’s also very true.”

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

“I love you, Mike.” I said, looking straight into his eyes.

“I love you, too, Ches.”

“Thanks for allowing me to be apart of your life.” I lower my voice so that I’m speaking more softly. “I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone before, Mike. Not even with my ex-wife. She could never cause me to have such feelings. You… you’re just so perfect.”

By this time, Mike had stopped eating and was now staring at me intently. “I’m not perfect.”

“Sure you are. You’re the perfect addition to my life. You’re perfect for our band. And you’re perfect for healing my heart and for filling the void I had in my life for so long; for loving me, and for giving me someone to love…”

I got up from my chair and took two steps towards Mike and knelt down on one knee. Taking the box from my pocket, I opened it and held it in front of him.

Mike’s mouth dropped open in pure shock. He kept looking from me back to the ring, not sure to believe what was going on.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

“Michael Kenji Shinoda, we’ve both declared our love for each other numerous times, so why not make it official? Will you make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

He had tears in his eyes, and his mouth was still wide open as he struggled for words. “Ches… I- I… of course!”

I smiled and slipped the silver band engraved with “’til forever…” on his left ring finger. Leaning forward, I forced out lips together—our first kiss as an engaged couple.

When we broke apart, Mike was panting. “You know how I told you I didn’t want to have sex tonight?” I swallowed and nodded. “Fuck that and make love to me. I need you Chester Bennington… and I need you right fucking now.”

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

~~~~~~~~~

Looking at Mike, we both had tears in our eyes as we looked back on that glorious day. “…best night of my life,” he whispered and brought his hand up to stroke my cheek.

“Ditto,” I responded. “I can’t believe you still want to marry me. It’s great… but… can I ask why?”

“Love prevails everything.”

~~~~~~~~

AN: Read on my friends, read on...

Song was "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by Green Day.