A/N- My mind seems to be eating me alive, 'cause I'm really stuck with '10 things'. So, I took a little break and tried to write something else to get it out of my system. Here's the result...

-Inferiority Complex-- A continuous feeling that you are much less important, clever etc. than other people-

He couldn’t remember when the day turned into night. He became oblivious to when it was time to eat or time to sleep. He had the pills and the note. Everything became one big blur until one person caught him right before he fell.

“Don’t do this”, the three words were spoken so kind and gentle, like butterfly wings on silk sheets.

“Why wouldn’t I?” the actions of the man becoming more irrational at the sound of the tender, mother-like voice. He didn’t need anyone to care. Not now. It has been years since he felt what sincere, meaningful ‘love’ or ‘care’ was. He lost track of feelings and emotions running through him until, on this one good day, he had become numb.

“You have so much to live for”

“What good is wanting to live for something that doesn’t have any meaning to the person in whose hands it lies?”

An expected silence fell upon them as the observer only smiled at the man on the tiled bathroom floor, who already managed to gulp down 3 of the painkillers. He could feel the expected effect pump through his veins, as he wondered why this super-natural being wasn’t stopping him. He stopped his pill containing hands in mid-air and tilted his head to the side.

“Why aren’t you stopping me?” he absent-mindedly let out as he brought his lazy hand to his mouth, swallowing what once decorated the pale surface. His eyelids were getting heavy. He needed to do this. He promised himself he would go through with this, but why would this person just be standing there, not doing anything?

“Let me tell you something, beautiful”, the man cringed at the last word that escaped the savior’s lips, “Having insecurities is human nature, it’s almost expected. And because of that people often use it to their advantage. In this case, the other usually realizes this in time before any internal and mental damage can be done. But then there are also people like you at whom the insecurity level is almost as high as it can get and the lucky ones, who know this, abuse it as much as they possibly can. It’s called inferiority complex. They twist and mold you in any shape they can think of. They whisper sweet nothings in your ear and you’ll fall for them, because you’re a hundred percent sure that they’re the only one who look at you like that beautiful creature that you deny yourself to be”

Barely audible sobs filled the air and the man’s hand was shaking. He stopped his ministrations and felt his breathing become ragged. His eyes were fully closed now, but he was all ears. He felt as though his life was taking another turn, yet he didn’t know what kind of turn.

Was that the sound of a door? Was someone else here?

“They already know this, so they’ll wring out every single ounce of decency and self-respect you have inside that big, thumping heart. And as unexpected as it is to you, one day you’ll find out the truth behind their godly actions. Maybe they wanted to get someone back. Maybe they were looking for a one-night stand. Maybe their sadistic mind needed a quick fix. For whatever reason there is, it always leaves you stranded on a lonely road that leads to the depths of nothingness. And I promise you that you will find your way off that road. You’ll find a way into the hearts of many, just like I have found a place in yours”

His mind leisurely began to shut off as he heard a new, now panicked voice swift through the air.

This wasn’t over. He would be okay.

----------

He had the note and the needed cover. He had the destination and the time. He had the guilt and the innocence of his determined actions. He didn’t have his own life in fragile hands. He had the life-stabbing reason. Until one person caught him right before he fell.

“Go away”, he screamed angrily at the familiar face that only seemed to show up at times they weren’t needed.

“I can’t. This is my job”, the soft voice kindly threw back at the shaking man. The person walked to where the other was standing and bent comfortably over the railing of the bridge, “It’s a pretty long jump”

“What do you care?” he glanced sideways as his messy hair covered half of his face, mother nature deciding to keep the look by making the wind keep it in place. His hands were somewhere behind his back, the only thing still holding on to his life. The soles of his feet barely touched the metal ground. The water below him seemed to be opening her arms, ready to welcome him to her world.

“I care about you”, there was that smile again.

No, nobody cared about him.

“I’m not capable of lying and you know that”, the voice answered his unvoiced thoughts.

“I tried to change it…” he whispered, eyes still latched downwards, his fingers slowly becoming numb and his grip loosened.

“Change what, beautiful?” he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to delete that repulsive word that had been used to describe him from his system

“That road”, his voice came out as a whimper.

“I know you tried”

“It only got worse”

“That’s what you make yourself believe”

“I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know how to believe”

There was that silence again. The figure smiled at the crying man and spoke.

“You are submissive in every sense of the word, mister gorgeous. You’re head is overflowed with acquiescent thoughts and I know you’re ravenous for someone to take you away and release you from all of that. The only problem is that you wanted it too badly than you were supposed to. You were looking for something that you already knew you couldn’t find. You were looking for someone with less value than yourself, trying to make yourself see that there are worst cases out there than yours. The way you compare yourself to people and the way you tried to love yourself by being something you are not only adds to your own self-destruction plan”

His hands were gripping the rails desperately now. How could this be happening? This wasn’t the life he had planned. He wanted a family, a kid, a life of his own. He wanted to tell himself that he was a good person, but he didn’t have the ability or self-esteem to do that.

“I don’t have a plan”

“That doesn’t mean you’re subconscious isn’t making one of its own. Your mind always tries to play tricks on you and you’re simply one of the people that always fall for it”

“I don’t want to”, his voice was just above a whisper now.

“Inferiority Complex is not something you can just control and turn on or off when you feel like it. It’s planted in your system, usually by someone who had a negative impact on you. Like a bully”

“I had a lot of those”

“I know, sweetie”, that smile seemed to be planted on the face of this being. The goal was not to prevent this man from jumping, but rather try to make him see, as clearly as possible, why he’s doing it. Try to make him see that suicide is not the answer, that it is a mere option.

The victim of his own deadly actions turned 180 degrees and put a foot on the railing. The other gladly offered a hand and the man appreciably took it, feeling the warmth of the hand have an effect on his whole body. Somehow he felt lighter, almost as if he could spread his hands to the sides and fly to wherever he desired. Away from himself.

And he promised himself he would someday…fly away from himself.

-----------

He had the needed tool and the reason. All he could ever need. No note, no love, no life. Could someone catch him before he fell?

“Give me the gun”

“NO…GO AWAY!”

“You don’t know what you’re doing…give me the gun” the calm voice seemed to infuriate the man’s actions even more.

“I’m ending this right now, I’m tired. So fuckin tired of everything!” the suicidal man held the gun to his head and was crying and sobbing like crazy. He had reached the bottom point.

“You have a kid now”

The sobbing decreased and the man fell down unto the professionally decorated tiled floor, gun still grasped tightly in his hand.

“He left me. They both left me”

“That’s not your fault”

“She left me for someone that was better than me. He was more handsome than me. He gave her more than I ever could. And she took my son with her! I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye!” he was pushing the barrel of the gun deadly hard on the side of his head with every word he uttered.

That magic smile was visible again on the opposite person and he calmed himself down.

“She saved me from myself. She was all I ever wanted. And my baby boy only added to that. Without them, I’m worthless and empty, just like before”

“Oh, Chester…” the voice spoke to him right after a click could be heard, indicating that the gun has been cocked.

“What’s your name?” the shaking man inquired, wondering why he hadn’t asked that before.

“Samantha”

“Samantha…” he let it linger on his lips and closed his eyes, it sounded like a magical name.

“Why do you always appear when I’m at a suicidal point?”

“Because I’m your guardian angel, beautiful. I’m here to protect you. Mainly from yourself” she said as he looked in awe at the glow that seemed to appear around her when she said those words. He knew she was an angel. Ever since the first time he layed eyes on her. Not only because it was obvious, but because she was so amazingly beautiful and gentle...something he wouldn't know much about, but he was sure that this was a good example.

“I can’t be saved anymore”, his eyes had a determination glow in them.

“I know” she nodded and smiled.

Click…

………

This time no one caught him before he fell.

Het Einde

A/N- I truly believe that Samantha IS his personal angel since she saved him from so much (as he described). Please review, constructive critisism is welcomed with open arms :)