Disclaimer: I don’t own Linkin Park… don’t sue!

Description: Mike doesn’t have that much time left to live and not much to live for but he knows he has to say something very important to Rob. Will he make it in time? [Standalone]

A/N: My first standalone, YaY! Seriously though this should be called “A Cure for My Writer’s Block” even though I don’t have technical writers block, I’m just too busy to write a multi-chapter right now. So yeah, enjoy!

“The Last Day”

“One Shot”

I never feared the outside world you know. It’s true, nothing on the outside ever struck fear in me because none of that generic crap ever hit home. I always though horror films were stupid, I was never afraid to walk alone in the dead of night, I was devoid of the fear from the outside.

Why should I be afraid anyway?

Nope, I never felt afraid of the outside world. No sir, not me. The outside world isn’t too bad; it’s what’s on the inside that makes us afraid. Have you ever felt that you were your worst enemy? We’re all our worst enemies but sometimes that can be a concept that some of us can’t figure out, or are afraid to admit. However, it was something I could admit and that’s what I was afraid of. I wasn’t afraid of heights or guns or anything. I was afraid of myself.

Yet, I struggled to reach the top as I hard as I could but every time I climbed, I fell somewhere along the line.

The last day I lived was actually a bit different than all my other days. I mean, I did all the same things that I used to but everything seemed to be under a different light per se. For the first time in a long time I hated, no loathed, no abhorred being around my friends. I really didn’t know why I continued to let myself be drowned by the static that loved to engulf me all the time. I always thought that everyone seemed to be going places except me. Or so I thought, but after years of thinking about it I realized that none of us were actually going anywhere and that my mind had once again played another trick.

It’s hard to live when you know you’re insane.

I decided to go hang out with my friends for a time. Then I saw him again, Rob. What a nice person he was. He always had my back, loved my poetry, and he knew that I meant well but he could never convince me the same thing. To be honest, I had a little crush on him but if I had told him, oh I knew he would have a fit so I just kept it to myself. As he spoke I studied every feature about him from head to toe. His strong body, his slightly tanned skin and when I closed my eyes, his gentle voice would be all that I could feel and it felt wonderful. It was ages since I had felt anything this powerful in my head.

It’s good to know you’re not totally numb.

After I time however, I grew restless. Rob’s voice and movements were so perfect I wanted him more but the more I wanted him, the more it hurt because I knew I could never have him. Oh low I long to have him in my arms right now! The impatience was literally beginning to tear me apart as my eyes started to light up for the first time in a long time with passion and hatred all at the same time. Rob asked me if anything was wrong and I just denied. Everyone else seemed to notice a change in me too. In my restlessness I said my quick goodbyes and started to go. I knew I couldn’t stay.

It’s not easy being brought back to life.

As I walked away however, I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around.

“Mike, are you okay?” Brad asked.

“Yeah, I just have to do something,” I mumbled.

“What's wrong?" he asked again.

“I’m just…” I started. “I’m just sick of being disappointed all the time.”

Brad sighed, we had this conversation before.

“Mike, when are you going to realize that you’re just messing with your head? You have great grades, a good life and people love you.”

“More people hate me than love me Brad…”

He didn’t say anything.

“Besides, those are just things on the outside,” I said and walked away.

I knew he was staring at me in puzzlement but I didn’t care. He knew what I meant… or maybe he should have known.

It’s hard not being who you want to be.

As I drove home, I was thinking about what Brad had told me a few months ago. He said that I should have given up trying to impress everyone because I wouldn’t have time to impress myself. But that was how I was going to impress myself. By making everyone happy. I loved it when I made others happy but that didn’t seem to happen anymore. People just seemed to get tired of me and every time I tried to make things go well they got even more tired.

I guess I just tried too hard.

When you know you dislike yourself, everything just seems to be another disappointment because your expectations are too high. I just wish I could let go, why can’t I let go? I’ve always felt like screaming, “let me go!” to everyone I know because their opinions are like shackles on my very soul. I wonder… *SCREECH!*

Suddenly I felt something crash into my car and I felt my body crash through my windshield because my seatbelt broke. My car was pretty damn old anyway. As I slowly opened my eyes through the blinding pain I saw that another car had crashed head on into mine but I don’t really know how. I suppose I wasn’t paying enough attention. I tried to get up but it was a little hard because there was a piece of glass in my side, which hurt like hell. I slowly took the piece out (painfully might I add) and I stood up and saw I was really close to Rob’s house. I loved passing his house on my way home because we lived close to each other. I touched my pocket and realized I still had it in there.

I knew what to do.

I walked off in the direction of Rob’s house quickly because I knew the cops were going to show. As I rounded a corner, the already cloudy sky started to pour but I didn’t really care. I braced myself against the fierce wind and got to Rob’s doorstep. After I loudly knocked the door Rob answered with a shocked look on his face.

“Mike, what are you doing here?” Rob asked with shock. “It’s freezing, come inside.”

“There’s no need,” I replied. “I just want to give something to you.”

“Okay…” he said.

I reached out into my pocket and gave him what I had written so long ago. He read it quickly and looked at me in puzzlement.

“Mike…” he started but then he saw something on my shirt. Blood, my blood.

“What is that?” he asked.

“Oh nothing…” I said smiling insanely.

He lifted my shirt and saw my large cut.

“Oh my God, Mike!” he yelled. “We have to get you to a hospital!”

“Right…” I said still smiling oddly suddenly I leaned in but he pulled back slightly.

“Don’t resist,” I whispered gently barely able to look at his tear stained face. He knew why I was doing this. The paper explained all.

Anyway, I slowly leaned in and finally connected his lips with mine. I seriously thought my mind was going to freak out but it just reacted with a state of contentment. Especially when I felt Rob slightly kiss back. Knowing I didn’t have much time left, I pulled away and looked at Rob who groaned at the loss.

“I love you,” I choked out and smiled as I fell and died against Rob’s screaming frame.

Even before I died I knew that when I did, I would finally do it with some content shown on my face. I might not have crossed out everything on my list to do before I die but I definitely crossed out what was on top. And I didn’t give up.

Because giving up was never an option.

***

THE PAPER:

"The Last Day"

The last day I lived

Was so long ago

I was lost, I was hurt

My spirits were low

The wind began to blow

It started to rain

But the little drops before me

Could not take my pain

I tried to run away

But I couldn’t get anywhere

So I cried my eyes out

Slowly dying as I stood there

But I couldn’t leave yet

There was something I had to do

So I gathered up my strength

Preparing myself for what I had to tell you

I walked to your house

Feeling my approaching death

You opened the door and I said “I love you”

Then I took my last breath

FIN

Poem: “The Last Day” by me.

A/N: Yeah, I know that wasn’t my best but I like the emotion tied to it. I never thought I could write like that even though it was kind of boring. I wrote “The Last Day” more than a year ago but it has moved me so much it’s my favorite poem so I decided to make it a standalone based on it. Did you like it? R/R please!