SO I posted this a while back and I’m reposting it here and I do intend to continue it.

Sorry to be spamming the front page with these fics but this will be my last chance to post them until July

Also it was written so long ago that Sam (Chester’s first wife) is part of this (sort of) and I would like to keep it that way.

Prologue

So this moment has to be documented. I have to write down just how ecstatic I am. Explain why my heart feels so swollen, as if it’s about to burst out of my chest any second. And I better do it now before he comes out of the shower, reads this and gets a bigger ego than he already has! Ok, that’s a lie. Chester has no ego. His world fell apart and he lost everything and, not to boast or anything, I was one of the people that helped build his life up again. Ok, so I did fall in love with him and turn his and everybody’s life around us upside down, but that’s not the point.

The point is that I sat with him for weeks on end while he cried and made endless bids to end his life. I took the punches he threw when he got so frustrated with his own feelings, I trawled the streets when he went missing and turned up in some bar, passed out in the corner. That’s when I fell in love with him. How could I not? Sitting there night after night watching him sleep; my arms curled round his rapidly thinning form as he shook with sobs that wracked his body. I hated myself for it. How could I fall in love with my recently widowed best friend while I sat on suicide watch with him? That’s what we called it; Suicide watch. Me and the rest of the band had to pull together to keep our vocalist alive, we were all he had. Even the tragedy Chester had to endure couldn’t heal the rift between him and his family, so we became it. All five of us watched his world crumble so it was up to us to build it back up.

Just over 2 years ago the police had interrupted our jam session at my house. The way they solemnly asked to speak to Chester told me it was bad, maybe I just didn’t realize how bad. Chester refused to sit down when they asked him too. “Someone’s died haven’t they?” I guess that was years of being a cop's son. He refused to believe it was Sam, argued with the cops and told them it could be a mistake. He repeatedly rung her cell phone and the police asked if he wanted to identify her. Part of me wished that I hadn’t gone in with him, I knew Sam well and it was difficult to see her like that, not that it looked like she was injured at all. “She’s asleep.” Chester has whispered, his hands pressing the glass that separated him from his wife. She did look peaceful, the car accident giving her no physical injuries. Cardiac arrest caused from a blood clot. That’s what the doctor told us as we stared at her. Chester slid to the floor but he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t doing anything. He just stared ahead of him in a daze and didn’t respond to anything anyone did. He was admitted to hospital for five days and was treated for shock. After the funeral in Phoenix he came to live with me for a while and I guess that’s where it began.

It was about eight or nine months before he started to show improvements like waking up and getting up in the morning, getting dressed, thinking about normal things like grocery shopping and returning to work on the next album. None of us got our hopes up, we took it day by day and so did Chester. As long as he kept taking steps forward we were happy.

On Christmas Eve Brad confronted me about Chester. Apparently he’d known for ages that I’d liked him. I don’t think he’d known for ages, only a few days before he’d nearly walked in on me masturbating, he probably just heard me call out Chester’s name. It felt good to finally get it off my shoulders but Brad was pretty firm with me, he told me to forget it, he warned me not to threaten the balance Chester had finally got himself on. I knew he was right, I didn’t want to hurt Chester; it just seemed to get harder everyday. He came to my family’s Christmas dinner and he’d fallen asleep in my arms by late afternoon so I had to endure my mother giving me knowing glances, smelling his strawberry shampoo and listening to the soft little sighs he would make all evening.

I thought the only way I could get over how I felt was to distance myself from him, however, things didn’t go to plan when I got a phone call from him at the beginning of February. “I’ve accidentally slit my wrist.” How you accidentally slit your wrist is beyond me, but I was round there in a flash before speeding him to the hospital. Fortunately it wasn’t a bad cut and he admitted that it was stupid. It was a minor step back in the healing process. Though I felt terrible, he asked me if he’d upset me and why I was avoiding him. He looked so distressed and kept apologizing for being the way he was.

[ii]”I’m sorry Mike, I know how difficult I am-”

“You’re not difficult Chester.”

“But you always have to look after me.”

“No I don’t, It’s a good thing you called, I’m just glad you did. And that you know it was a stupid thing to do.”

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe I should just get myself out of all of your lives so I don’t ho-”

“Do not say things like that Chester, ok?”

“But you must hate me.”

“I don’t.”

“Well you should.”

“I could never hate you.”

“Why? After everything I’ve done.”

“Because I love you.”

“What?”

Probably not the best place to confess that; but I told him. I told him everything; it just spilled out of my mouth faster than I could control it. Then I ran out of the hospital crying like a complete pansy.

Dave came round to console me and admitted that he knew. Apparently it was obvious and the four of them had been talking about it for ages. I turned into a heart broken teenager and sat round my house watching Nickelodeon and MTV and eating chocolate. Then Chester came round, straight from being discharged from the hospital. He pulled me into his arms and said “Of course I love you Mikey, you’re my best friend, you’re more than my best friend, I love you so much….” It was heaven, pure heaven to hear those words, “But…” Why is there always a ‘but’?

“It’s too soon.”

That didn’t mean it was never going to happen though right? I told him I understood and gradually the air cleared between us and everyone seemed to forget anyway, what with all the excitement from the new album coming out.

We threw ourselves into touring and it did us the world of good, especially Chester. It seemed to be the best thing for him, just getting away, meeting new people and working. I was beginning to see glimpses of old Chester again; it really meant something to me when I saw him smile and laugh.

We were in Australia and sharing a room together when we had our first kiss. He was having trouble sleeping and climbed in bed with me. I woke up to find someone gently running their finger down my face. He kissed me softly and told me he loved me. We spent the night in each others arms and I couldn’t stop myself from floating up to cloud nine. The next day I looked like I’d slept with a hanger in my mouth, I could not stop smiling.

Chester brought me back down to earth with a bump; he was afraid and felt like he was betraying Sam. He admitted that he did have feeling for me though.

I was just confused, I wanted to hate him and I wanted to stop feeling the way I did about him. It’s never that easy though. Nothing ever is.

So throughout all the tours on the Meteora album we’d kissed four and a half times (it only counts as half since he was drunk and missed my lips). Project Revolution is our last tour on this album. So far we’d managed to keep things civilized since the guys were complaining and moaning all the time about it. “Either get together, or don’t,” were Brad’s exact words. They wanted us together though; we’d had many, many conversations. I swear we talked more about our relationship than we played play station. Jonathan Davis from KoRn even gave us his opinion on the subject, “You guys would be great together, you should at least give it a try.” Personally, I agreed with him but I wasn’t going to push Chester and I could tell he was finding the pressure a little stressful. So two days ago I took him aside and told him that there was no pressure from me and to ignore everyone else and just go with how he felt. He kissed me. I should have been used to his small advances by now but they always sent me to cloud nine even if I knew I was letting myself up for a big let down.

“I think I’m ready.”

“Huh?”

“I realized that it’s stupid to waste time. I love you and you love me so why waste that? I should have learnt that time is precious and who knows what’s around the corner.”

“And Sam?”

“She’d be saying the same thing as everyone else. I told her she’d be the only women I ever loved. And she will be. Nothing can change how much I love her. You understand that right?”

“Course I do. That’s one of the reasons I love you, you’re so loyal.”

“And handsome”

“Obviously”

And that’s when the intense kissing started.

“But we take it slow ok?” Chester pulled away for a second. I replied quickly before returning to the intense kiss. We really shouldn’t have been doing that in the back of the bus, Brad walked in and started jabbering away and eventually everyone joined in. I felt like we were in the hot seat or something.

The last two days have been amazing, last night I played the best show I’ve ever done and came back to the hotel to share a bed with my new boyfriend.

Last night had been incredible. It was beautiful to see Chester turn coy on me as I slowly stripped him of his clothes, I took in the sight of Chester’s porcelain skin and wanted to touch every part of his body, feel every dip and rise of skin, kiss the hidden bones and suck on the tender flesh. I flushed the same nervous colour that Chester did as he slowly striped the clothes from my body. Chester pulled me closer and our bodies pressed up together, skin touching skin. I lost my breath as his chest touched mine so close that I could feel his heart beat. I’d wanted this for so long and now it was here it was everything I expected it to be.

The night was perfect, we stayed awake, holding each other and chatting for most of the night until he drifted off and I watched him sleep, smiling at the little sighing noises he made and the occasional incoherent mumbled word.

Waking up was the opposite, I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me and smiling warmly. We held each other together in a long, deep kiss that sent tingles round my body and left me floating on air.

So, you see I just had to get it out of me, this happiness, and the exhilaration that courses through me. It’s amazing. And Chester’s amazing. I can hear him singing in the shower now; if I were bold enough I would go and join him. We’re taking things slow though. And that’s fine with me.

Only a week left of tour and then we have a break to do the next album. I can’t wait to spend more time with Chester.

Everything seems so perfect now.