I don't own don't know and this never happened.

Memories I wish I didn’t have

CHAPTER 1

(Rob’s POV)

It’s the second week of our tour in UK and I couldn’t be happier. I love this life. Being on the tour bus with my five best friends. I couldn’t ask for more.

I finally have what I want, after the hell I‘ve been through. I think I deserve this you know.

Well actually I could ask for more but...to be honest I don’t know what to ask for.

Something isn’t right, but I can’t put my finger on it though.

My dream has come true. I’m famous, I have A LOT of money and I get to do what I love. Write music and play drums till I fall off the chair.

And in a way I’m scared to even think about asking for more then this, cause I’m afraid it’ll go away. That it will disappear as fast as candy in a child’s hand.

But still there’s something missing. I feel...depressed, empty...numb. Even with the guys around 24/7 I feel alone.

And the guys are great, I couldn’t ask for better friends. I know I don’t say it much but I do love them more than anything...hell I don’t say much at all. But that’s me, that’s who I am.

Sure they joke about me not saying much, but I know they don’t mind.

I don’t have to talk, they do a great job with that on their own.

I look at the guys sitting around the “kitchen table” and on the couch talking and eating the food we just bought. Joe and Phoenix are just about to get up, my guess is that they’re heading for the back to the Playstation. Brad, Chester and Mike are talki...no wait Chester and Brad are talking. Mike is staring of in to space. He looks like he’s in deep thought.

After a while Mike jumps just a little bit and turns and looks me right in the eyes. Quickly he looks away and starts eating his food and try to listen to what Brad and Chester are talking about.

(Mike POV)

I snapped out of my thought when I felt a pair of eyes on me. I turned my head to look at whom it was. When I met Rob’s eyes i quickly turned back to look at my food and listen to what Chester was saying.

I wonder what he was thinking. He’s been really distant lately. I mean he’s here but he’s also somewhere else.

“Rob!!?”

I turn my head at Brad. He’s looking at Rob with an annoyed look on his face.

“What?!” Rob asks a little annoyed that he interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey don’t bite my head off for trying to get your attention! Phoenix was calling for you.” Brad snapped back.

“Sorry” Rob mumbles as he got up and walk towards the back of the bus.

Rob (POV)

“Hey Rob, wanna play some?” Phe asks me as I plop down on the couch feeling a little guilty for snapping at Brad.

I look to my left at Joe and see him sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and a pout on his lips.

“You lost huh?” I asked Joe with a smile on my face.

Joe turned his head and looked at me with a look that said: you have two seconds to run out of here then I’ll be hunting you down.

He unfolded his arms and slowly leaned forward.

Just as I was about to make a run for it Joe tackled me to the floor and started tickling my sides.

“No! Stop it Joe, I’m sorrrrryyy!!” I said between laughs.

“uh uh, to late to say your sorry” Joe said and scooted down to my thighs and started tickling my hips. My weak spot...

“No not there!! Phe!!!Brad!!! Anyone!!!” I screamed getting desperate to get out of Joe’s torture.

“What’s going on in here, sounds like someone’s killing our drummer” Brad said when he, Mike and Chester came through the door.

Joe stopped for a moment and turned his head to the others, I took the opportunity to push him off and getting up and started running to Brad for protection. When I stood safely behind Brad I looked at Joe.

He was getting up from his spot next to the couch.

“H-e was bei-ng mea-n Bra-d“ I said while I was trying to catch my breath.

“Aaaww Joe why were you being mean to little Rob, little innocent Rob, Rob who wouldn’t hurt a fly, Rob who..”

“Ok, ok Brad you can shut up know” I said and turned to walk out of the door to get something to drink.

But before I could walk out someone grabbed my arm. “Wait a minute Rob, Joe wouldn’t be mean for no reason. What did you do?” Brad asked with a grin on his face.

I stood there for a minute just looking at him. “I just asked him if he lost the game” I said innocently with the saddest puppy dog eyes I could pull.

“Is that true Joe?” Brad asked seriously.

“Well...yeah but he had a tone...” Joe said looking me right in the eyes.

“Now that wasn’t nice Rob” Brad said while pulling me towards Joe. “I think Joe has every right to tickle you”

“What!? No, he already has!!” I said trying to get out of Brads grip.

“Were you finished Joe?” Chester asked Joe.

“ No I wasn’t” Joe said walking towards me with his fingers ready to start the tickling again.

“No Joe Jesus Christ stop it, this isn’t fair, get off Brad!!” I said.

“Calm down Rob, I was only joking” Brad said and started laughing as well as the others. He let me go and walked over to the couch to sit down.

“I hate you Brad, I hate you all!” I said trying to sound serious but failed big time. Then I turned around and walked to the fridge and taking out a bottle of water.

I lifted my shirt a bit to look at the damage. My sides were red and my hips were even more red if that was possible. Suddenly an image came to mind.

------------Flashback----------

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I pulled up my shirt.

My whole chest was covered in bruises in every colour...I looked like a fucking rainbow!

I turned and looked at my back, it looked the same but there were also a few cuts, they were still bleeding. They still hurt. I hurt...every time I hurt more.

-----------End Flashback---------

My E-mail if you're not amember: susanne_n83@hotmail.com