A/N: This was my first Linkin Park fiction but I only wrote two parts and combined them into a standalone. I decided to brush the dust off it and continue it to a better resolution. Dedicated to Bekka, who liked & fav'd my story Schizophrenia, even though the pairing was Mike/Rob. Much love hun, much love. She's the reason why I continue this :]

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I'm sitting under a sink, my knees all the way up to my chin, and trying to breathe as little as possible to avoid coughing from the mildew and mold. Why am I under a sink? Because Mike is having one of his moments again. He's never drunk when he's like this, never on drugs. He just comes in angry about something and takes it out on me. He didn't used to be like this. He used to be so nice and caring, like he really is. But something happened shortly after we entered a relationship. he started becoming distant, terrifying. He was no longer the Mike I knew, but there was still some of him there.

I hold my breath as I hear the door open. He throws down his bag and kicks off his boots. I know this because he always does this when he comes back from wherever he traveled to. And I gave him a key to my apartment.

"Chaz? Are you home?" He calls. I wince at the last word. I don't know what home is anymore.

"Chester? Chester!" He yells. He's getting angry. Hopefully he won't know I'm here. I feel something crawling up my pants leg and I think it's a roach. Oh god, why does this place have roaches. I try not to squeal or squirm but it's getting dangerously close to my nads. I try to hold it in, hold, hold...I can't take it anymore. I push open the door and scramble out, screaming.

"Damn! What the fuck!" I quickly strip off my pants and brush myself off, watching the roach land in the toilet. I run over and flush it before the disgusting motherfucker can crawl out. I turn around and see Mike staring at me, spiky red hair and all.

"Why were you under the sink Chaz?" he cocks his head to the side and looks at me strangely. I stare down at my boxers and realize I am incredibly horny now that Mike is here.

"Um, just, trying to see if I can fit." I smile weakly and know what's coming.

"Right, you little lying bitch." He rushes forward and presses me against the wall with his hand around my throat. He practically lifts me off the floor as I struggle to breathe.

"You were hiding from me, weren't you Chazzy poo?" He squeezes harder and all I can do is nod while my legs squirm beneath me. He drops me on the floor and lets me get my breath again. Once I'm able to stand up, he grabs my erection roughly and starts to rub it. I moan softly and close me eyes. He's trying to make me weak. I can tell. But I have to be strong. I can't give into that...

His lips press against my neck, just where his hand had gripped me before. I become vulnerable and he pulls me closer to his own body with his other arm. I know where this is leading to, and I should stop it. I want to stop it. His hand down my pants, that doesn't make me want to stop. His lips sucking at my collarbone roughly, that doesn't make me want to stop. But what he does next does.

Mike violently shoves me away and I'm able to catch myself before I fall in the bath tub. I look up at him nervously and suck on my lip ring. Bad habit, I know, but I can't help it. He walks over and growls, "Get in and take your clothes off." I stare at him helplessly, as if unsure of what to do, so he makes a decision for me. He grabs my shirt and rips it apart. I yelp in pain but he just quiets me with a slap. "Shut the hell up, Spaz," he hisses. He rips off my boxers, my favorite pair, and shoves me down. I sit there, naked, cold, and scared as I watch him undress himself and stand up on the side of the tub. He reaches down for the knobs and first turns on the hot water.

I wince at the cold water, but relax as it grows hot. I like hot water. This part of the torture was never so bad because I can get used to hot water easily and Mike never lets it get too hot. It's the cold right after that I'm worried about.

"You've been playing in the filth boy, and I'm not going to touch you ever again 'til you're clean!" Mike turns it on to shower and the hot water quickly sprays my entire body. I scream in pain. The water is hotter than I've ever felt and it feels like its washing away my skin. Mike hops down under the water with me and grabs me by my hair.

"Listen Chester! I come home and find this place a pig-sty and you wallowing in the mud!" He hits me in the mouth and I instantly taste blood. I open my eyes and watch the redness swirl with the leer water. I no longer notice the water's temperature, but Mike stands up, changes the water to cold, and now I truly yell out in pain. The change is so extreme, my whole body twists and contorts, unable to do much anything except suffer. I hear Mike's laughter above me and start to cry. If he loves me as much as I know he does, why does he treat me this way?

Just when I feel like ripping my hair out, the water is shut off. All is silent except for the drip of water from the shower head. I glance up at Mike and he's standing over me, glaring.

"Okay Mr. Bennington, you know what comes next, don't you?" He smiles evilly at me and gets on his knees. I scoot away, pressing my back against the wall of the tub and shut my eyes as a blow of punches rivet my body. When he punches me in the ribs, he punches me so hard I don't think I can breathe. All I do is make little gasping sounds and try to breathe and endure this torment. I try to think of happier times with Mike, but I'm flooded with the smell of blood. Mike stops hitting me long enough to whisper, "I'm not your tomodachi. Say it. Say, 'I'm not your tomodachi Mike.'"

I cough up blood and struggle for breath as I say, "I'm not your tomodachi Mike." He hits me again and yells, "You are a pathetic excuse for a sex toy Kenji-chan!"

He flips me over on my stomach and starts fucking me madly. I don't even know the difference between up and down at this point. All I'm wondering is why he called me Kenji-chan.

Kenji is Mike's middle name.

---

When I wake up, I'm in bed. There are bandages on my chest and face. Mike is in bed next to me, arm slung across my waist. I want to get up and take a piss, but it hurts to move and I don't want to awaken Mike. So I lay there, sweating, physically tired, and scared for my life. But there is also that question that has arisen now. Why had Mike called me Kenji-chan if Kenji is his middle name? I don't have much more time to think before Mike stirs. I slowly turn my body to face him, groaning from the pain inflicted upon me the previous night.

"Chester..." Mike groggily says. His eyes are half open, and fixed on the bruise above my left eye. He stares at it, confused. He raises a hand to touch it, but I flinch away, instinctively, when he does. Mike gasps and draws his hand back, as if he had touched hot metal.

"Oh my god," he whispers and sits up. "Chester, I am so sorry!" And then he starts to cry, angry, sad, and confused tears. I pull myself up as well and shush him, holding him in my arms. After all, he didn't ask to be a monster. Something is making him this. Is it drugs? No, Mike's body doesn't respond well to drugs or alcohol.

"I'm sorry Chester, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me baby. I don't mean to hurt you." Mike sobs.

"I know Mike. I just wish you would tell me what is wrong." I say, running my fingers through his flattened spikes. His face is puffier now since he's been crying. Mike is so damn cute sometimes...

"Shit!" Mike yells as he frantically runs around the room trying to find clean clothes.

"What the hell Mike? It's Saturday!" I say over his mumbling.

"Yeah, but Mr. Hahn and I had something important to finish up on the album!" He stands in front of the mirror and fixes his spikes. It's half-decent, but I guess when you're rushed you don't really care about looks.

"See you later Chaz!" He kisses me on the mouth and runs out, leaving me confused and tired. Why do I live this way? Mike is nothing but a whirlwind of passionate emotions and I...

I am the calm of the storm.

A beeping sound pulls me from my thoughts and I look over and see Mike's phone still on the bed stand. Carefully, I pull myself out of bed and walk over. Mike practically lives off his phone and bag, which he also has left behind. I pull on a pair of shorts, a wife beater, and grab his items and car keys. I'll just drop them off by the studio. Maybe I should stop by Subway and get the two something to eat as well...

As I pull up, I see Joe and Mike outside the door. They look like they're having an argument, but it mostly seems like Joe is just yelling at Mike. I get out of my car, almost slamming the door to alert them of my presence. They both look my way and that's when I see the fear in Mikes eyes. I know that look all too well. I can't see through Joe's aviators, but his mouth turns to a smile I can't recognize as I trot up the stairs with Mike's bag and the Subway.

"Mike, you forgot this and your phone." I hand him the items and watch his hands tremble as he takes them. His eyes don't meet mine, but his voice speaks the words that his mouth doesn't. He says, "Thanks Chaz" but what it sounds like is, "Why the fuck did you come here you fucking retard?" I wince at his voice and then turn to Joe.

"I bought you two hard workers some Subway!" Joe grins and pats me on the shoulder. His hands feel cold as ice through my shirt. He takes the bag from my hand and shoves it into Mike's arms. "Take that into the studio Kenji-chan. I'll be in after wards to finish my talk with you." The way he says the last sentence makes me feel bad about coming. Mike looks at me and nods, his eyes, cold and dead.

"See you later Chester." He says in a gravely voice. My heart is thudding so loud in my chest, I'm sure Joe can hear it. I start to back down the stairs when Joe grabs my arm and pulls me close to him. I want to pull away, but he's strong.

"Chester, it was nice to see you today." He smiles, a fake smile. I catch a glimpse of his eyes, leering at me from over his glasses. My stomach does a flip, and not the good kind either.

"Yeah, you too Joe." I hurry back to my car and start to drive off. Joe watches me until I've totally left his field of vision. He called Mike Kenji-chan.

Why?

I park two blocks away outside of a deli and start to walk back. There was something wrong with that whole situation. It was too tense, too awkward, too...familiar. Was the whole reason Mike beat me so badly due to the way Joe treated him? And Mike called him Mr. Hahn earlier today. There seems to be a power-play issue here that I can't figure out, but do I want to? What if it turns out that the whole reason behind Mike's abusive behavior is that he himself is being abused? Would I be able to handle that type of information?

I go around to the back, pulling out my keys and unlocking the door. I don't know where they are, but sound carries in this studio, and it shouldn't be hard. I start to head up the stairs when I hear Joe's voice.

"You said you were not sleeping with him anymore!" The sound of skin hitting skin reverberates through my body and I freeze in my place.

"I'm sorry Joe!" Mike's voice sobs. "I'm not sleeping with him! Just at his apartment until-" Another smack.

"What did you call me?" He growls. I take off my shoes and pad silently across the floor. I press my back against the wall and lean over to see into the room across the hall.. Mike is on his knees, Joe with a fistful of hair, dragging his face across the carpet.

"What did you call me Kenji-chan?" Joe yelled.

"Mr. Hahn!" he cries. My heart bleeds for him. I long to go in there and stop it all, but I can't move.

"I thought so." He pulls Mike's face up to his own and squats down to his level. I watch in shock as he wipes away the tears and kisses him on the lips. He's being so nice and gentle...No. He's the monster that ruined my Mike. I want to move, but I remain hidden form sight. Mike smiles up at Joe before he's thrown down onto the ground again.

"You are a pathetic excuse for a sex toy Kenji-chan." His words freeze the blood in my veins. Mike sniffles and my head swirls. I slowly allow myself to slide down the wall and sit, staring helpless. Joe picks him up by the throat and Mike tries to gasp for air, causing a punch to his stomach to be delivered. Mike coughs and I think I'm about to cry again. There's nothing I can do but watch my life get replayed.

Joe lets him go and says, "Take off your clothes and lie down."

Mike tries to beg. Joe whips his belt off and smacks Mike in the mouth with the buckle. I wince, my heart probably matching Mike's own pulse right now. He whimpers as he takes off his pants and shirt. For the first time, I notice welts, bruises, and cuts all across his skin. Joe attacks him where no immediately visible marks are shown, but Mike hits me in the face. Why?

"You know Mike," Joe spats, "I bet your little Chester would swallow a load better than you." Mikes face clouds with frustration and embarrassment as he finally drops his shorts. He's just as hard as Joe. "Chester is cute. So much cuter than you. And he's not a fatass like you. He watches his weight. You need to as well. You don't get to eat that sandwich tonight!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Hahn. I'll try to lose weight." Mike whispers, looking down at his erection.

Joe snaps his belt and hisses, "Look at me!" Mike's eyes snap forward. "If you keep this up, I am going to turn my attentions towards Chester."

"Yes Mr. Hahn."

Joe runs his hands down Mike's sides, stopping to grab his ass Mike gasps in pleasure, clenching his fists and closing his eyes. He stands absolutely still as Joe lowers himself, gently teasing Mike's cock with his tongue. I watch, amazed, turned on, and infuriated. It's Joe's fault I always have some sort of infliction on my face. It is his fault I probably have cracked ribs. This is all his fault.

"Kenji-chan, do you like the feel of that?" Joe asks.

Mike nods and stutters, "Y-yes, Mr. H-Hahn."

"Don't cum until I say you can."

"Yes sir." Mike gets on all fours and aims his ass towards Joe, who has his cock in his hand, panting eagerly. I close my eyes, unable to block out the sounds of the rough intercourse between my lover and my lover's captor. Yet when I close my eyes, I feel like I am young again, being betrayed by someone I trusted. My memories of sexual molestation force their way back to the surface like a dead corpse dumped in the ocean. My breath catches in my throat as Mike's moans grow louder. I clench my hands into fists, wincing at the blood that seeps through my fingers. My stomach twists and churns in a sickening fashion; I feel a tear slide down my cheek and open my eyes again. Joe has Mike on his back and is hovering over him angrily.

"What did you say Kenji-chan?" He yells.

"No, please, it was an accident!"

Joe punches Mike in the ribs, who wheezes and lets out a weak cough.

"I am not your tomodachi, Mr. Hahn! Say it!"

"I am not your tomodachi, Mr. Hahn." Mike sobs as Joe finishes himself inside Mike, face to face. I cannot stop shaking. My whole body trembles in fright and anger. Repressed emotions suddenly force their way out just as Joe stands, belt in hand, preparing to beat Mike.

"Fuck you Joe!" I scream. Joe turns around, surprised, and Mike stops shielding himself long enough to gaze up at me in wonder.

"Chester. How long have you been here?" Joe asks in a calm, but slightly irritated voice.

"Long fucking enough! You fucking piece of shit!" I scream. I advance towards Joe, but before Mike can stop me, Joe whips the belt around, slapping me in the face. I fall back a few steps, holding my wound.

"You turned Mike into a monster! Mike was so perfect until you fucking ruined it all!" I scream.

Joe approaches me, but I'm still and unafraid. "Chester, you beautiful doll you. Why would you sleep with that pitiful beast?" He traces his fingers down my face, smiling. I pull away and spit, "You're insane Joe. You're not even the Joe I knew." I shake my head and start to walk away when I remember Mike. I can't leave Mike here. Not like this.

"Mike, get dressed. We're leaving." I order. Mike looks from me to Joe, who looks like he doesn't really care. With some hesitancy, Mike slowly starts putting his clothes back on, all while I stand between him and Joe, to insure that nothing further will happen. When Mike is ready, I start to help him to his feet. As we walk out, Joe slaps me on the ass and whispers, "I'll get you soon Chazzy Chaz. You took my pet away, now you owe me."

I freeze and hiss, "I don't owe you anything. It's YOU who owes me." Mike keeps his eyes on the ground as we walk out of the studio in a tense silence.